The First Ten Focus Group Feedback for Heirdom: (Valoria, #1)
Because Heirdom was Book of the Day, some of our most trusted members have carefully looked over the cover, the description, and other aspects of this book as a part of purchase-intent focus group. We then asked each participant in the focus group if they planned to buy and read the book, and why they planned to buy and read the book or not. Their answer to that question and reasons are displayed below. We call this awesome feature The First Ten Focus Group.
Keep in mind, the responses from the members are not reviews. This is purchase-intent focus group which means the participants are people who have NOT yet bought or read your book. A purchase-intent focus group is an important and extremely useful marketing tool for any product, not just books. For other products, you might walk on the street and show people an item in a package and poll them about whether they would buy if or $X or not. These kind of focus groups are one of the ways big marketing companies find the ideal price points for products and test the effectiveness of different packaging. The focus group can help you identify your market so you how to target ads of your book, and it can (but may not) provide you new useful info about your "packaging" (e.g. your book cover, your book synopsis on Amazon, etc.). The point of the focus group comments is to give you information from people who have not bought or read your book about why they plan to buy your book which will help you in marketing the book. These are not reviews or critiques of your book because they are not from people have read the book. This is a marketing tool, not reviews. The trick of book marketing and book advertising is that you have to convince people who have not read your book yet that your book is worth buying and reading. For marketing, it doesn't matter much if people love your book after reading it if you cannot convince potential buyers before they read it that they will love it.
IMPORTANT: Any score over 10% is considered very good. And any score above 0% is acceptable. This is because we only poll about 20 or so readers, and all readers have to say "no" to almost all books. Over a million books are published each year. Even a very active reader cannot come close to even reading 1% of books out there.
This is also why publishing books is such a tough industry.
Manang Muyang
I am very familiar with Tayma Tameem. Many of her books have been BOTD, and most of them, if not all, have gotten very good reviews. Just knowing this is a Tameem book (regardless of its title, cover, or blurb) would make me sample it even outside of the program. Unfortunately, the sample did not excite me. I did not find anything to like. The story felt very juvenile, and the background to the arranged marriages seemed too flimsy. I will not read the rest of the book. I also saw a number of errors, quite unexpected for a Tameem book. Two of the more distracting errors in Chapter 1 follow: "She had seen him around the castle with King Assad and made it a point to visit" was confusing; I knew "she" did not "make it a point to visit," so another "doer" was needed. "Her brother shot her a dirty look, opened his mouth to protest, but was interrupted but their instructor" should have used "by their instructor." I think the author needs to seriously work on the editing. The featured official OBC review gave the perfect rating, but it did not make me reconsider my decision. Maybe I am just not interested in the workings of royal marriages.
First Ten review added on October 7, 2021, at 4:56 am by Manang Muyang.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Mutai Marshal
The cover page dissuaded me from reading this book since it suggested that this book falls under the science-fiction genre, which is a genre I don't like. The traditional setup is brought to light in the book, where parents chose who their children married. However, there was nothing that appealed to me. Because I don't relish fantasy books, I will not buy this book. It seems exceptionally edited, and there are no suggestions for improvement that I can offer. Lastly, the OBC review didn't influence my decision about reading this book.
First Ten review added on October 7, 2021, at 4:52 am by Mutai Marshal.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
va2016
The title "Valoria: Heirdom" and the cover containing two people in traditional clothes indicate that this could be a historic story. There are only 3 customer ratings in Alkeytab, which is not a sufficient number for me to decide if I should sample the book or not. The Alkeytab summary says that the story is about two kingdoms. As I am not interested in historic stories, I would have skipped sampling if not for the First Ten program. As I sampled through the book, I found the narration describing Zeina comparing herself with her brother Zain. As I am not interested in the overall theme of the book, I am not going to read this book in full. I found the sample professionally edited. There were no grammatical or mechanical errors. I didn't like anything specifically about the book. I don't have any recommendations for the improvement of the book. Although I found 2 OBC reviews of the book, my decision to not to read the book in full is based on my own sampling.
First Ten review added on October 7, 2021, at 4:47 am by va2016.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Jeremie Mondejar
The cover photo is beautiful, and I like its vibrant colors. I sampled the book, and it was entertaining. However, I can't read books in a series right now because I'm quite hands-on with my baby. The book has an OBC review, but I'm not convinced either. I observed that the sample had a flawless writing style, so I assumed this book was professionally edited. There's nothing I can recommend for improvement.
First Ten review added on October 7, 2021, at 4:37 am by Jeremie Mondejar.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Vickie Noel
I would have read this book outside the program because it is authored by Tayma Tameem. I also like the title and book cover. My opinion didn't change after reading the sample; my interest was further piqued. I enjoyed reading Zeina's thoughts; she sounds a lot like me, although I'm not a royal. The way she looked at the two sides of a coin is something I'd naturally do. For example, "Yet, they refused to discuss it with Zeina, or even Zain as far as she knew. Of course, perhaps her brother simply wished to spare her the details... but she doubted he would conceal the truth from her." The book is professionally edited. However, I observed some discrepancies. For example, I wasn't sure about the actual identity of Queen Najma. Earlier, she was referred to as the mother of the Intellectus royals betrothed to the Valorian royals. For example, "...and she wondered about the woman who was to become her mother-in-law..." & "Surely, they liked Queen Najma enough to marry off their children to hers or they wouldn't have risked it." Then further down the read, Queen Najma was described as the grandmother of Zeina's betrothed one, Adam, not the mother. Here is the sentence, "Prince Adam V was on his way, accompanied by his grandmother, Queen Najma, his mother, Queen Donya, his father..." It was all quite confusing. My recommendation for improvement is that the characters' details be thoroughly checked and synchronized to avoid confusion. I saw an OBC review that highly stimulated my interest.
First Ten review added on October 7, 2021, at 4:33 am by Vickie Noel.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Ann Ogochukwu
I found the colorful cover of this book a little too animated for my liking, and I wasn't intrigued by its OBC review, so I doubt I would have sampled this book outside this program.
Zeina, the unconventional princess of Valoria, is set for a treaty marriage, as are her brothers. While the arranged marriage is still in a distant time, according to Zeina, she tries to find her place in her kingdom. In truth, the storyline of this book is interesting; however, I wasn't impressed by it. I don't think I'll enjoy this book so much, so I won't complete it.
I didn't notice any errors in the bit I read, and I don't think this book needs any improvement.
First Ten review added on October 7, 2021, at 4:25 am by Ann Ogochukwu.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Shrabastee Chakraborty
This genre is one of my favorites. The regal cover made the book more fetching. Based on the official OBC review, I decided to read this book. I found no errors in the first ten pages. The chapter was from Zeina's POV, reflecting her views about her brother's succession to the throne. I loved it because I could empathize with her and relate to her limitations as a woman. I had no suggestions for improvement. Based on my reading experience, I would like to read the whole book.
First Ten review added on October 7, 2021, at 3:13 am by Shrabastee Chakraborty.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Sou Hi
The cover and the official review from OBC look alright. Still, there are not many ratings. Since the blurb's promising, I decided to give the sample a try. It begins with Zeina, a princess who often thinks about her deceased uncle and is trying to investigate his death. Her future mother-in-law is one of the suspects. One day, she receives word that her marriage has been hastened, shocking both her and her brother.
I like the medieval theme. The editing is fine, though there were some errors. However, the pace is slow, and the plot is not really interesting. It's also quite similar to other novels of the same genre. Besides, I dislike Alkeytab, which is quite slow and unstable. I would suggest another platform to promote the book. Since I don't enjoy the sample, I won't buy the book.
Error example: Secretly, she hoped she'd be half as lucky as her parents, to have love grow between her and her future-husband. -> The hyphen is not needed between "future" and "husband"
First Ten review added on October 7, 2021, at 2:34 am by Sou Hi.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Mercy Bolo
This book's cover didn't entice me to read it, and the OBC review dissuaded me when it mentioned that the author narrates a story of warring kingdoms seeking to repair ties through marriage. That storyline doesn't appeal to me, so I won't read the rest of the book. When I read the first ten pages, I liked that the author highlighted the princesses' jealousy and revealed that she spent hours trying to mold herself in her brother's image. Since I noticed no errors, I will conclude that the text underwent professional editing. There's nothing I disliked about the bit I read, so I wouldn't change anything about it.
First Ten review added on October 7, 2021, at 2:24 am by Mercy Bolo.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Stephanie Runyon
I like the colorful cover of the book and would have sampled it. I have recently found the books in the fantasy genre to be appealing to me. I liked the character description being more on an emotional level instead of physical characteristics. It makes it easy to connect with Zeina. There was an OBC review, but the preview was more convincing when I chose to continue reading this book. Professional editing appears to be utilized, as I found no errors. I would not change anything with the story. The tension that was built with the two kingdoms has me curious to see what interaction Zeina has with her future husband. I also wonder what will happen with her relationship with Zain.
First Ten review added on October 7, 2021, at 1:44 am by Stephanie Runyon.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Annelore Trujillo
I would not have sampled this book based on the genre, blurb, OBC review, cover and title. I don’t usually read science fiction/fantasy books, and the story of the kingdoms in this one didn’t interest me. After reading the first ten pages, I won’t be finishing this book. I was not pulled into the story. It talked a lot about the war and the arranged marriages that would help align the kingdoms. This type of story isn’t something I like reading. I did like that it was well written and seemed to be professionally edited. I also liked that there are multiple points of view. There isn’t anything specific that needs improvement.
First Ten review added on October 7, 2021, at 1:39 am by Annelore Trujillo.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sarah_Khan
I like the cover and title of this book, they made me want to find out more. So, I would have sampled this even without the First Ten program. The first few pages were well edited. I liked that Zeina was the one who was different and not quite suited to be Queen. I also found it interesting that if her brother becomes King before she is married then she becomes a warrior. The OBC review was positive. I look forward to seeing how this book ends. Therefore, I will definitely be reading the rest. I do not have any suggestions for the author.
First Ten review added on October 6, 2021, at 6:26 pm by Sarah_Khan.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Jorge Leon Salazar
The title is striking and the cover is consistent with the story of the two kingdoms that seek peace through marriage between their princes and princesses. I think the target audience would be attracted by the cover and the title. The fantasy genre is not my favorite, but I am open to trying it. The blurb comments on the plot around the marriages between the royal families of the kingdoms of Valoria and Intellectus. Their goal is to bring peace. Moreover, it expresses that as the approach of the weddings, everything becomes complicated and points back to war. The first ten pages are told from Zeina's point of view and are used primarily to describe her. Equally, her brother Zain and her mother Queen Zainah are well described. Plus, these pages outline that the plot revolves around the arrangement of marriages between the children of the royal families of the aforementioned kingdoms. Zeina is described in terms of her personality and abilities, especially in swordplay. Zeina was engaged to Prince Adams, who is not described much in these opening pages. What I read raises an intrigue as to what the real reasons for those marriages are. Queen Zainah and King Ziad appear to be keeping a secret that seems to be related to Queen Najma of Intellectus. She appears to have been involved in the murder of Zaki, Zeina's uncle. The official OnlineBookClub review indicates that the book addresses themes like loyalty, betrayal, family, and love and has well-developed characters. The editing looks professional as I didn't see any details to comment on. Overall, I didn't see anything that I believe could be improved. What I read centers on the character Zeina and it seems like a classic story of clashes between kingdoms, so it did not completely capture me. In summary, I will not read the rest of the book.
First Ten review added on October 6, 2021, at 1:02 pm by Jorge Leon Salazar.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
gen_g
Looking at the title and cover, the book looks like a piece of fantasy fiction. I am not looking for books in this genre, so I would not have sampled it, even if I come across a positive OBC review (which I did because of BOTD). After sampling for First Ten, I did come across a couple of errors. On the second page of the first chapter (titled "Being Royal"), there is an instance of erroneous semicolon use: "...born to be a prince; from his shock of dark curly hair..." – the fragment that follows the semicolon in this sentence is incomplete, which is inaccurate because both fragments before and after a semicolon have to be complete, i.e., independent. I suggest more rigorous editing to improve the book quality. However, what I appreciate is the insight into various characters that the author provides – this serves to flesh out the various characters, providing the reader with a more immersive reading experience. To illustrate, we learn that Zeina, being a princess, knows that she is very privileged, but she is still extremely burdened by the stresses that come with being royalty. She also feels that her brother, Zain, is the complete opposite – she thinks he is born to be a prince both physically (he is handsome, with dark curly hair and brown eyes) and in terms of his personality (he is charismatic and intelligent). Other than the need for more editing, I would like to suggest that the map of Al Kunooz and the picture of the entrance to the Palace of Valor be placed before the start of the first chapter – currently, both pictures are in between chapters one and two, which disrupts reading flow. However, as I am not in the market for fantasy fiction, I will not be reading the rest of the book.
First Ten review added on October 6, 2021, at 11:06 am by gen_g.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
xsquare
I’m not a fan of fantasy books, so I wouldn’t have sampled this book if it hadn’t been part of the First Ten program. The official OBC review did not convince me. It was difficult to pick out something I particularly enjoyed about the book – I thought the introduction was too information-heavy; it felt like the author was ‘telling’ readers rather than ‘showing.' The character of Zeina, unfortunately, did not endear herself to me in the first ten pages – she seemed rather immature and naive, especially when she assumed that the customs of neighbouring kingdoms would be similar simply by virtue of geographical closeness. I spotted a possible misuse of the semicolon in the following sentence: “Why, he was practically born to be a prince; from his shock of dark curly hair, the color of the night sky, to his bright brown eyes, the same color as the mountains that surrounded their kingdom.” Given that there was nothing I really liked about the book, I’m not interested to read the rest.
First Ten review added on October 6, 2021, at 5:31 am by xsquare.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Justine Ocsebio
I wouldn’t have sampled this book based on the blurb, as I wasn’t interested in the premise. I like how the author describes Zeina’s sentiments as a princess in the kingdom of Valoria. She seems to be an interesting character with little to no interest in politics. Meanwhile, her brother seems to possess all the desirable attitudes of a ruler. I’m going to read the book, as I’m interested in knowing more about these characters. I disliked nothing, and I didn’t see anything that needed improvement. The text is well edited. The OBC review did not affect my decision.
First Ten review added on October 6, 2021, at 4:01 am by Justine Ocsebio.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Sanju Lali
I had never heard anything about Valoria. Therefore, I could not guess anything about the book. I read the OBC official review to know what is meant by Valoria. The OBC official review gave me the idea that this book revolves around three royal families and their histories. This information motivated me to read the sample of the book before purchasing it. When I read the first ten pages, I realized that this book is not professionally edited because I found some grammatical errors in the sample. For example, the sentence, “Yes, Zain was everything she was not, in possession of attributes that would take him far as a prince and later on as king." The sentence could have been as follows. "Yes, Zain was everything she was not, in possession of attributes that would take him far as a prince and later on as the king." The thing I liked the most in this book is the amusing obsession of Zeina about Zain because she could not match his physical and political abilities. Unfortunately, I was overwhelmed by the writing style because I personally felt as if an Arabic text was crudely translated to English. I found myself losing a lot of time putting the ideas in place to make meaning out of them, and it made me lose interest in reading the book. My suggestion to the author would be to go for a round of professional editing and consider the shortcomings listed in the above sentences. In light of all these factors, I decided not to buy and read this book today since I am waiting for the author to consider my suggestion in order for me to have a comfortable and pleasurable reading experience.
First Ten review added on October 6, 2021, at 3:43 am by Sanju Lali.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Howlan
I think I would not have read the book without the program. The reason for that is I'm not too fond of fantasy romance stories that involve love between the royal bloodlines of two enemy nations. I read a lot of plots similar to this story and did not enjoy reading them. In the first ten pages, we are introduced to Zeina, the first princess of Valoria. She informs us about the conflict between her kingdom and Intellectus and her fixed marriage to the price of Intellectus Adam. She begins telling of the war between the Kingdoms and the loss of her uncle, the previous queen, and about her brother Zain, next in line to the throne. She also talks about her studies and the lack of her will in her life. The narration is excellent and easy to understand. I will not buy and read the rest of this book as I am not interested in the plot due to the reasons mentioned before. No typos were found in the first ten pages. I found nothing to improve in the first ten pages. The official OBC review is present, and the reviewer rates it highly.
First Ten review added on October 6, 2021, at 3:38 am by Howlan.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Emy Katherine
In order to guarantee peace between the kingdoms of Valoria and Intellectus, Princess Zeina of Valoria is encouraged to marry Crown Prince Adam of Intellectus. Prince Zein of Valoria, Zeina's brother, is also ready to marry Princess Amber of Intellectus for the good of his kingdom. However, Zeina realizes that her parents are hiding something from her when her brother's wedding is hastened by the two royal families. In all honesty, I would not have read the book based on the genre. I am not fond of fantasy novels, but I am pleased to say that reading the first ten pages and the OBC review convinced me to read the rest of the story. I found the writing style pleasant to read and also appreciated the author's choice to tell the story from multiple perspectives. The dialogue was also engaging, but I would suggest another round of editing. Unfortunately, I found some errors that distracted me from my reading. For example, it should be written "her future husband" instead of "her future-husband." (Chapter 1, page 3) It should also be written "to cover its top part" in the following sentence: "Lastly, she slipped on the boots, adjusting the robe to cover its the top part." (chapter 1, page 20)
First Ten review added on October 6, 2021, at 3:22 am by Emy Katherine.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Rodel Barnachea
After I went over the title's alKeyTABPro page and official OnlineBookClub review, I decided not to acquire the book. I did not find myself interested in learning what will happen between the two royal families after the arranged marriages of their children. I am also not intrigued by the personalities of the princes and princesses. Poring over its alKeyTABPro preview did not change my mind. I would not purchase it because nothing in what I read piqued my curiosity or had me wanting to read the rest of the fantasy novel. It is also because I did not like the slow-paced nature of the story. The first ten pages cover a few pages of the first chapter. My favorite part is when the relationship between Zeina's parents is described to be "forged out of necessity but ... grew with time." I could not identify any errors in the preview; I believe the book is professionally edited. I have no advice to offer to the author.
First Ten review added on October 6, 2021, at 3:15 am by Rodel Barnachea.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Dzejn_Crvena
Based on the genre, I wouldn't have sampled this book outside this program because I didn't find it appealing. The OBC review did not convince me to read it further. I'm not into romance, and the theme of the story sounds cliche to me. The rulers of rival kingdoms, Valoria and Intellectus, decide to arrange a marriage of their heirs to forge an alliance and maintain peace in the land of Al Kunooz. The sample did not change my decision because the pace in the sample is very slow. However, it seems professionally edited. I didn't find errors, so I don't have suggestions for improvements. I like the cover of the book.
First Ten review added on October 6, 2021, at 2:16 am by Dzejn_Crvena.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Gabrielle Sigaki
Valoria by Tayma Tameem is a fantasy novel that brings royal families, their histories, their problems, and their relationships too. If I didn't sample this book, I wouldn't read it based on its Official OnlineBookClub review since I'm not interested in books that bring the question of relationships with dramatic aspects. After sampling it, I didn't change my mind and I won't read the entire book because of its dramatic aspect. However, it seems professionally edited and I liked the fact that the author focused a lot on powerful female characters since the book's beginning. Besides, I think there's nothing to be improved in it.
First Ten review added on October 6, 2021, at 12:53 am by Gabrielle Sigaki.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
MsH2k
Although I appreciate Tameem’s creativity, I would not have sampled this book if I were not part of this program. I am not in the market for a fantasy story. The first ten pages clearly established the responsibilities Zeina and Zain had to reign and keep peace between their kingdom of Valoria and that of Intellectus. Their personalities were established well. I didn’t connect with the writing style, however. I found the use of so many adverbs distracting. An example is on page 4, where the first five sentences started with “Secretly,” “Granted,” “Though,” “In truth,” and “At the end of the day.” I will not finish this book because I am not invested enough in the story. I found a few grammatical errors in the first ten pages. On the second page in the first chapter, the semicolon should not be used in this sentence because it is not separating independent clauses: “Why, he was practically born to be a prince; from his shock of dark curly hair, the color of the night sky, to his bright brown eyes, the same color as the mountains that surrounded their kingdom.” On the fourth page, the semicolon is again not needed (a colon could be used instead), and the last comma is not needed in the compound object: “It was difficult for her to imagine such an intricate turn of events, even harder to picture her mother at the center of it; a young woman who hadn’t expected much out of life, forced to ascend to the throne and deal with the loss of her family, and the man she’d loved.” On the thirteenth page, I believe “Her” should be “His”: “Her strands of gray hair stood in stark contrast to his dark hair.” The featured OnlineBookClub review was complimentary, but it had no bearing on my decision. I have no suggestions for improvement.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 11:24 pm by MsH2k.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Hazel Arnaiz
From the cover and title, the genre is recognizable. The description from the blurb and customer reviews sounds typical for this genre. I prefer something fresh. Hence, I will skip this book outside the program. After sampling, I appreciate that it gives an insightful peek at the complex lives of royal families. It seems to explore that royalty is so much more than a charming fairy tale. However, the pace is a bit slow to my liking. As for editing issues, here are some examples.
Chapter 1. Spelling. Consider removing the hyphen.
Secretly, she hoped she’d be half as lucky as her parents, to have love grow between her and her [future husband].
Chapter 1. Grammar. Consider removing the article.
Lastly, she slipped on the boots, adjusting the robe to cover its [] top part.
Chapter 4. Spelling. “Directly” is misspelled.
Then, he looked up, met Adam’s gaze [directly], and smiled, showing off a row of perfect white teeth.
Chapter 4. Grammar. Consider changing the article.
Aside from Assad, who could only do that in an official sense, and as the queen mother, Najma had far more of [an] influence on her grandson, at least on a personal level, and she was far more persuasive.
I am not sure if it is just my copy or the reader, but there are no page numbers. I think adding page numbers will be helpful for more convenient navigation. Likewise, the official OnlineBookClub review is enthusiastic. I will keep this book in mind but will pass for now.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 10:56 pm by Hazel Arnaiz.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Mary WhiteFace
I liked the cover. It had a mystical look about it. I believe that even without the First Ten program I would have wanted to investigate this book further. Reading the first ten pages reinforced my initial impression. The presence of an OnlineBookClub review did not influence my decision.
The book seemed to be professionally edited. I have no suggestions for improvements. I really liked Zeina's rebellious nature. Even though she was supposed to be learning the political aspects of governing a country, she could barely focus on the lessons Mr. Husyein was trying to teach her. She would have much rather been spending her time "...with two long daggers or a bow and arrow rather than discussing tactical strategies."
I will be reading the whole book. I am curious as to how Ziena will handle her prearranged marriage that will make her the Queen of Intellectus. I have a feeling that she will have quite a few adventures as she attempts to walk the fine line between conformity and staying true to her individuality.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 10:22 pm by Mary WhiteFace.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Eunice Geres
I would literally pick this up for the blurb and the cover, however, there are so many things I didn't like. To be honest, what I like the most about this book is the genre itself. I'm a goner for royal fantasy. However, Zeina is not really what I like in a strong and independent main character. She said that she likes to be with her daggers rather than discussing tactical strategies. I would recommend saying discussing politics rather than tactical strategies. In young-adult fantasy, people would prefer to read someone with a strong will and a clever mind. If the main character is just wielding her blade without thinking about the opponent's next move, then she is just an immature princess who's not taking advantage of her lessons. The official review said that this book is slow-paced. Which I also don't like. So I will really not read this book. I didn't notice any grammatical mistakes, though.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 10:15 pm by Eunice Geres.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Jennifer Donovan Smith
I would've sampled this book outside the program based on my familiarity with the author and also based on the cover. The cover is beautiful and makes the book look like a YA fantasy novel, which is a genre I love. I saw two official OBC reviews; one awarded four stars and the other awarded three.
I couldn't help but think of Pokémon teams when I saw the kingdom names. This book has Valoria, Intellectus, and Tranquilium (valor, intellect, and tranquil being the root words), while Pokémon has Team Valor, Team Instinct, and Team Mystic. I'm Team Valor in Pokémon Go, so I suppose I'm destined to be Team Valoria.
I digress.
I found a few errors. For example, in "...who hadn’t even spent more than two years as king before he was murdered[,] on the battlefield," the comma after "murdered" is unnecessary. Second, the hyphen is not needed in "future[-]husband." Third, in "Thankfully, it was still [a while] away," "awhile" should be one word. Fourth, "they were not power-hungry or craved blood" does not make sense; it should be rewritten as "they were not power-hungry, nor did they crave blood" because the tenses conflict as written. I do not believe this book has been professionally edited. (I'd like to note that when I went to change the settings to darken the reading pane on alkeyTab.com, I also noticed that the setting for sepia is misspelled as "speia.")
I found the errors distracting. They were distracting enough for me to decide not to finish reading the book, which is unfortunate, because I had been looking forward to reading it. I will happily read it after a thorough edit.
I would recommend hiring an editor, as well as removing "POV" from the chapter subtitles. Naming the speaker is sufficient without saying "Zeina's POV."
Because not much happened in the sample pages, my favorite element of the book so far is the cover art.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 10:05 pm by Jennifer Donovan Smith.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kaitlyn Canedy
Because I recognized the author's name from another book that I looked at, I would have read the sample of Valoria even if it was not the OnlineBookClub's book of the day. I really enjoyed the cover art of this book; it is very colorful and eye-catching. I also loved Zeina's character; she seems to be far more interested in fantasizing and being adventurous unlike her brother Zain. The lack of grammatical errors in the first ten pages is commendable as well. I cannot think of anything that needs improvement. I am unsure if I will be able to follow along with the slow pace of the story, so I will be passing on this title. An official OnlineBookClub review exists for this book, but I did not need to read it to make a decision. Readers who like books about royal fictional characters and allegiances may find this book interesting and engaging.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 8:43 pm by Kaitlyn Canedy.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Astral Magi
Even if I hadn't read the first ten pages, the cover and title piqued my interest, and I would have bought the book just on them.
My decision to read the book was influenced by the official OBC review, and the first ten pages just confirmed my decision.
The fact that the characters are relatable and that there is action from the beginning appeals to me the most. I didn't see any errors, and I don't see how this book might be improved. I'm looking forward to finishing the book shortly.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 8:20 pm by Astral Magi.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Timothy Rucinski
This book would not have appealed to me had I come across it on a bookshelf and checked out the blurb on the back cover. I don't particularly care for stories involving royal families and the wars between their kingdoms. From the Official OBC Review, I realized that this book was not for me. The cover is somewhat intriguing and I enjoyed the artwork. It would have caught my eye while browsing. There was nothing about the book that I disliked other than the genre, and perhaps the slowness of the pace of the book as evident from the OBC review and the pages that I read. I offer no recommendation for improvement since I'm sure this will appeal to those who enjoy this type of subject matter. What I liked most was the way in which the books' author brought out that each of the characters, because of their royal birth, were stuck in their roles, never able to change their position despite their desire. This was demonstrated quite nicely in the sentence describing Zeina's plight: "No matter what she did, or where she was, she could not change her future, or rewrite the stars, or even outrun it." I found no errors so I assume the book was professionally edited. Nevertheless, I won't be reading it.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 5:54 pm by Timothy Rucinski.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kelyn
As a long-time fan of the fantasy genre, I would likely have run across this book. The cover and title scream 'fantasy novel,' which would have immediately caught my attention. The author's name is one I instantly recognize, and I love her books. That would have made it all the more likely that I would pick it up. The blurb focuses on the relationship (but not quite a romance) between Princess Zenia and Prince Adam. Their both being headstrong might be a recipe for disaster as far as their relationship goes. Although I could not access the three reviews on Alkeytab, the book does have four out of five stars. This speaks well of it. The lack of access to the reviews prevented me from knowing whether or not there was an OBC review on the site. If I had found one, I would have been interested in what the author had to say. The official OBC review on this site was very complimentary of the book. This gave a good impression going into the sample. Although I love fantasy novels, I am not much on political intrigue. I think my focus would be more on the relationship between Princess Zeina and Prince Adam. I'm hoping they'll work things out, though, because I always like a happy ending. It sounds like I'll have to wait for the second book to find out, though. Unfortunately, I'm not big on cliffhangers, and that might keep me from reading this one. For now, I'm putting it back on the shelf. Perhaps I will revisit it in the future. The novel seems well-edited. I found no 'countable' errors in the sample.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 5:07 pm by Kelyn.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Yvonne Monique
The book cover is in the same style as other books of the same author, but I do not particularly like this one. I would not pick this book up if I would see it in a bookstore. The OBC review and blurb give a good idea about what to expect from this book. I normally like fantasy novels, so I started reading the sample with curiosity. The first ten pages are well edited and free of errors. The author does a good job of introducing the kingdom of Valoria and princess Zeina to the audience. One immediately feels sympathy for Zeina. Although I enjoyed the beginning of the book, I have decided not to read it. The main reason is that the review states that this is a lengthy, slow-paced read, and at the moment I have not the peace of mind to immerse myself in a complex fantasy story. I have no suggestions for improvement.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 4:06 pm by Yvonne Monique.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
markodim721
I would choose to read a sample of this book because of the title. The title of the book seems to be associated with an adventure and a series of events that follow the heirdom. The cover of the book is designed, for my taste, a bit banal and I think a different design would be more appropriate. I’m not going to read the book because it’s not the genre I prefer. Reading the sample didn’t change my mind from my original guess. While reading the sample I have noticed few errors in the names of members of royal families (for example Prince Adam V, King Assad I). The names of princes and princesses are not written with numbers. Also, a number in the name of a king only makes sense if there is another king of the same name from the same ruling family, that is, King Assad could really be King Assad I only if there is also King Assad II. I like that Zeina is described as unconventional. I think that the beginning of the book should be more dynamic and it is necessary to improve it. The book has an Official OnlineBookClub review.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 3:37 pm by markodim721.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Laura Ungureanu
The cover doesn't appeal to me, but I was intrigued by the author because I am familiar with her. I enjoy Tayma Tameem's writing style and I usually end up reading her books. I read the OBC review and it didn't seem like something I would enjoy, but I knew that the author won't disappoint me, so I gave it a shot anyway. It was worth it. I enjoyed Zain's description and Zeina's thoughts. The way Zeina presented the situation between Intellectus and Valoria intrigued me. Although I wasn't interested in the premise at first, now I feel the need to continue reading. The writing style won me over once again. The book is perfectly edited and doesn't need any more improvement.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 3:22 pm by Laura Ungureanu.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Scerakor
After reviewing the title, genre, cover, blurb, and review of this book, I would not have read this book. This kind of fantasy book interests me less and less, and this book's premise didn't stand out to me. After reading the first ten pages I didn't change my mind and therefore will not be buying and reading the rest of this book. I really enjoyed the quality of the map provided at the end of the first chapter. This was a welcome change from the standard, 2D, pencil-drawn style of maps commonly seen in fantasy novels. That being said, I'm just not interested enough in the genre and premise of this book to read the rest of it. The book looked well written and edited; there weren't any errors in the sample that I read. The thing I would have improved from the sample I read has to do with character names. The way that I pronounce "Zeina" and "Zainah" is the same in my mind. This leads to unnecessary confusion in my point of view. There was an official OBC review, but it did not affect my decision at all.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 3:11 pm by Scerakor.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Mariana Figueira
Before reading the book's first pages, I wasn't interested in it because nothing on the cover or the title got my attention. After sampling the book, I don't want to continue reading it because the story didn't captivate me. I like that the royalty in this book does not force arranged marriages but they do recommend them as strategic moves; I also liked the names used in the book, like Zeina, Intellectus, etc. This book seems professionally edited and has an official Online BookClub review. There was nothing I saw that needed improvement.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 2:37 pm by Mariana Figueira.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Valkyrie9
Valoria by Tayma Tameem is a fantasy story of two kingdoms that agree to come to a truce by marrying off their children to each other. The cover is bright and clearly shows the rift between the kingdoms. The blurb on Alkeytab is short and to the point but gives enough background to get the reader interested. If I had not read the sample, I might still read this book based on the cover, blurb and author; however, this sounds like a love-hate story which is not a genre I typically enjoy.
Having read the sample and the OBC review, I know I will probably enjoy this book because of the author’s style of writing. However, the review warns that it is slow-paced, so I won’t read the rest of the book just yet. What I liked most about the sample that I read was the rich past of the intertwined kingdoms that is hinted at and how the author gradually allows the reader to discover more and more. Since I noticed only one error in the first ten pages, I believe the book was professionally edited. The error was an unnecessary comma in “…and that was saying something, so[,] she was not about to brush it off as another one of his ramblings.” I thoroughly enjoyed the sample and would love to read further to find out what happens. But owing to the slow pace of the book, I will not read it right now. I did not notice anything that could be improved.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 1:51 pm by Valkyrie9.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
AntonelaMaria
I noticed this author's work through this site, and I am happy about it. Her blurbs always sound so interesting to me and I want to read all of her books. I'm grateful that this is a free book. I think she did an excellent job of setting the premise up for future books in the series. After reading the sample, I want to continue reading the book. It is a little bit confusing having four characters with similar-sounding names, and they all start with the letter z. Nevertheless, I wouldn't change anything about the book. I didn't notice any grammatical errors. There is an excellent Official Onlinebookclub review of this book. This author is very underrated and I wish more readers know about her books. The cover of this book is stunning.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 1:38 pm by AntonelaMaria.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Kajori Sheryl Paul
'Valoria' is a book written by Tayma Tameem. The book is set in a fantastical world. Intellectus and Valeria had been at war for a long time. Valoria's queen lost her family and the man she loved in the war. She was able to form a loving bond with her husband. They arranged the marriage of their children Zeina and Zain with Intellectus' Prince Adam and Princess Amber II in the hope of establishing peace. I like the way the author shows Zeina's difficulties as the princess of Valoria. The editing is good. There is nothing in need of an improvement. I would not choose this book without the sample based on the cover, title, genre, blurb, editorial reviews, and customer reviews as I am not in the mind-frame to read books of this genre. The OBC review is engaging. I will skip this book as I am not that invested in the story.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 12:47 pm by Kajori Sheryl Paul.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda
What an eye-catching, beautiful cover! I also like how concise the blurb is. Unfortunately, I'm not into fantasy reads. This is why, despite the high ratings, I wouldn't have bought the book based on my first impressions.
I liked the first ten pages. What an opening line! Also, it takes a lot of talent for an author to create true bonding with a character when using a third-person point of view, but Tayma Tameem achieved it, and I truly felt for Zeina and her royal struggles. I also loved the descriptions. For instance, "In her mind’s eye, she pictured them clearly: haggard and disheveled, shuffling about awkwardly, their mouths half open in a silent scream, eager to shed the skin of the past but unable to. There was something about the horror of war, the bloodiness of it all, that never left a person, that forced itself upon them forever, inked on their skin." I also liked seeing how Zeina, even with all her responsibilities and royal upbringing, behaves as most young women do: rebellious. I saw this when she argues with Mr. Husyein. I didn't find editing mistakes, nor do I think there's room for improvement. I would only suggest providing the correct link, because the book is not available on Amazon. I liked the first ten pages, but I don't care enough for the genre to read the whole book, and the official OBC review confirmed such a slow-paced book wouldn't be of my liking.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 12:25 pm by María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Michelle Menezes
When I saw the name of the book and the author, I immediately knew what it was about. I had come across it a while ago and wanted to read it, but due to prior commitments, I didn't have the time. The cover is beautiful, and the blurb is interesting. The Official OnlineBookClub review had good things to say about it, and I made up my mind about reading it. After reading the first ten pages, I have decided to stick to my decision and continue with the book. I liked everything about it, from the writing style to the way Zeina's character was portrayed and the background information given. The fact that she stopped trying to be like her brother, understood her responsibility towards her kingdom and was willing to do whatever it took for their betterment, made me want to keep reading to know more about her. I don't think the book needs any improvement, and I didn't find any errors, so it seems professionally edited.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 10:49 am by Michelle Menezes.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Bertha Jackson
I would have checked this book out because of the attractive cover and title because I enjoy reading fantasy novels. The customer review ratings are high for this book, and the blurb provides an excellent synopsis of the book revealing arranged marriages between two kingdoms to keep the peace between them. I enjoyed reading the first ten pages and became further intrigued because Zeina is portrayed as a solid female character early in the book. I could understand why she did not think learning was important since she would be a warrior if war did break out. There is nothing I would recommend the author change in this book because it appears to have been edited by a professional editor. I did not see any errors in the first ten pages, and the OnlineBookClub review confirmed this. I have purchased this book and will eventually read it.
First Ten review added on October 5, 2021, at 9:22 am by Bertha Jackson.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Total ~ 29%
Heirdom earned a score of 29%.
In other words, out of the top-level reviewers who read at least the first 10 pages of this book, 29% plan to read the whole book.
IMPORTANT: Any score over 10% is considered very good. And any score above 0% is acceptable.
Over a million books are published each year. Any given person could not even read .0001% of the books out there. This means readers have to be very selective. Even taking the time to look over reviews and blurbs, let alone read samples, is more time than most readers can afford for most books. The First Ten is a powerful focus group that addresses those issues. It creates a helpful tool for authors, publishers, and other readers.
Go to main Bookshelves page for Heirdom
