The First Ten Focus Group Feedback for Within the Crystal Mountain
Because Within the Crystal Mountain was Book of the Day, some of our most trusted members have carefully looked over the cover, the description, and other aspects of this book as a part of purchase-intent focus group. We then asked each participant in the focus group if they planned to buy and read the book, and why they planned to buy and read the book or not. Their answer to that question and reasons are displayed below. We call this awesome feature The First Ten Focus Group.
Keep in mind, the responses from the members are not reviews. This is purchase-intent focus group which means the participants are people who have NOT yet bought or read your book. A purchase-intent focus group is an important and extremely useful marketing tool for any product, not just books. For other products, you might walk on the street and show people an item in a package and poll them about whether they would buy if or $X or not. These kind of focus groups are one of the ways big marketing companies find the ideal price points for products and test the effectiveness of different packaging. The focus group can help you identify your market so you how to target ads of your book, and it can (but may not) provide you new useful info about your "packaging" (e.g. your book cover, your book synopsis on Amazon, etc.). The point of the focus group comments is to give you information from people who have not bought or read your book about why they plan to buy your book which will help you in marketing the book. These are not reviews or critiques of your book because they are not from people have read the book. This is a marketing tool, not reviews. The trick of book marketing and book advertising is that you have to convince people who have not read your book yet that your book is worth buying and reading. For marketing, it doesn't matter much if people love your book after reading it if you cannot convince potential buyers before they read it that they will love it.
IMPORTANT: Any score over 10% is considered very good. And any score above 0% is acceptable. This is because we only poll about 20 or so readers, and all readers have to say "no" to almost all books. Over a million books are published each year. Even a very active reader cannot come close to even reading 1% of books out there.
This is also why publishing books is such a tough industry.
Ekta Kumari
The story follows Young Trofin who is responsible for the deliverance of his village from an enchantment. But during the journey, he also ends up discovering the secrets surrounding the mystic Crystal Mountain. I wouldn't have read the book based on its blurb as I wasn't much interested in the themes. Though, the thing I liked the most while sampling is hands down the illustrations. I also liked the storytelling ability of the author. The part I read was engaging, and I enjoyed the details used in the storytelling. I did see an official OBC review before sampling. However, I won't be reading the whole book as I'm not into the themes and the genre. I won't recommend anything for improvements based on the part I read. As for the editing, I only saw one error in this sentence, "When she was little this was her throne, upholstered in fine green velvet." There should be a comma after 'little' to make the sentence grammatically correct.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 5:42 am by Ekta Kumari.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Ann Ogochukwu
I wasn't intrigued by this book's cover or OBC review, so I wouldn't have sampled it outside this program.
Upon reading the first ten pages, however, I was pleased with the riverside scenery and intrigued by the characters, especially the little man. I still don't think I'll complete this book because I feel quite indifferent about it, which is a sign that I'll not make it to the end of this read.
I noticed one instance where a semicolon was used instead of a comma: "Elsie sat down and took off her slippers[;] the ones her sister made for her." Nonetheless, I believe this book was professionally edited. I don't have any improvements to suggest for this book.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 4:59 am by Ann Ogochukwu.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Dzejn_Crvena
I wouldn't have sampled this book based on the title and cover because I'm not interested in reading a fantasy book right now. However, I changed my mind when I read from the OBC review that it's suitable for middle-grade readers. The sample convinced me to buy and read it. The setting and plot piqued my interest in knowing about the history of the war between the nations in the novel. In the first ten pages, a young woman met a small creature by the stream. He won't let go of her hair no matter how many times she tried to distract him. He is a Genish, from Arinton village in Gen valleys. He seems to be traveling far from home. I'm interested to know about the purpose of his journey, so I'll continue reading this one. I love the illustrations and the map in the book that help the readers visualize everything in the story. The book seems professionally edited, and I don't have suggestions for improvements.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 4:56 am by Dzejn_Crvena.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Rodel Barnachea
Upon reading the title’s official OnlineBookClub review and Amazon page, I opted not to acquire the fantasy novel. I am not fascinated by the personality of Young Trofin, the protagonist of the book. I am also not intrigued by the mystic Crystal Mountain that the main character wants to explore. I am not interested in learning if Evershone would be able to guide Trofin on his way back home. Sampling the book did not change my mind. I would not acquire it because nothing in the Amazon sample intrigued, fascinated, or convinced me to pore over the rest of the story. I believe the fantasy novel is not my cup of tea. The first ten pages include the first chapter (”A Fine Day”) and some pages of the second chapter (”Dimplin’s Tale”). What I liked most is when the narrator explained how a war that broke out between Forsene and Agan has affected the protagonist’s way of living. I was not able to note any errors in the sample; the book seems professionally edited. I have no advice to offer to the author
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 4:53 am by Rodel Barnachea.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
va2016
The title "Within the crystal mountain" and the cover that shows a mountain do not convey the theme of the book. There is only one Amazon customer rating for the book, which is not a sufficient number for me to decide to sample the book. The Amazon summary states that the story is about a villager trying to nullify an enchantment on a village. As I am interested in the theme, I would have sampled the book even if not for the First Ten program. As I sampled through the book, I found the narration describing Elisse and Dimplin talking near the stream. As I am interested in the overall theme of the book, I am going to read this book in full. I found the sample professionally edited. There were no grammatical or mechanical errors in the sample, although an OBC review mentions about punctuation errors. What I liked most about the book is its captivating story. I don't have any recommendations for the improvement of the book. Although I found one OBC review of the book, my decision to read the book in full is based on my own sampling.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 4:46 am by va2016.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Eunice Geres
I usually enjoy reading young adult fantasy books. However, I wouldn't have checked the sample of this book if it wasn't on BOTD because I didn't like the cover. I know it's terrible that I judge a book by its cover, but I enjoy the book more if the cover is beautiful. The official review has a lot of high praise for this book, so I'm thrilled to be able to read the sample of the book. Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy the sample. The narration was good, but I find the pacing a little too slow for my liking. I also don't appreciate the general aura of the book. It seems like 10-year-old kids would enjoy it more than young adults. I also find the phrasing during the conversations to be too proper. I can't feel any sense of tone characterization. So, I wouldn't continue reading this book as I didn't like anything in the sample. I also don't have any recommendations because the book seems well written; it's just really not what I would enjoy. I also didn't notice any grammatical mistakes.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 4:44 am by Eunice Geres.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sou Hi
Even without this program, I would have sampled this. There is only one rating on Amazon, but the official review from OnlineBookClub and the blurb look good. The genre is also my favorite.
I like the fantasy theme and the mystic Crystal Mountain. The editing is alright, but the pace is quite slow. The narrative is monotonous, and the characters are flat, so I think the author should spice the story up by giving Elisse and Dimplin more inner voices. Since the book can't pique my interest, I won't buy it.
Error example: His face was smooth, and his skin was fair, though sun burnt. -> It should be "sunburnt"
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 4:40 am by Sou Hi.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
brooke oakes
I doubt I would have sampled or read this book outside this program. I didn't find it’s cover or title intriguing. Also, neither its OBC nor Amazon review appealed to me with the mention of evil wizards. The book starts with Elisse making dinner. She’s thinking about memories with her sister. I liked the vivid narration of this book, but nothing else in the book appealed to me, so I won't complete it. There is a punctuation error on Location 62 of the Kindle version. The book could be improved with more editing.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 4:39 am by brooke oakes.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Manang Muyang
The title and cover definitely say "fantasy." The blurb mentions the Genish and the TallOnes working together to save the village of Arinton. I am no fantasy fan, so I wouldn't have taken a second look outside of the program. The sample started with Elisse; her sister, Lenore; and a strange man, Dimplin from Arinton. The writing style was juvenile, apparently considering the book's intended audience of young readers. I like the distinct language used by Dimplin, which was poetic. I didn't find enough to persuade me to read the rest of the book, though. The errors I noted mainly concerned improper punctuation. At 13% of the sample, "Elisse sat down and took off her slippers; the ones her sister made for her" should have used a comma instead of the semicolon. A few sentences after, "Soon however, her concentration was broken" needed a comma after "soon." "And who is this, Evershone he spoke to, as if he knew him personally?" at 82% didn't require commas. Apart from the errors, I couldn't pinpoint anything else to improve. The official OBC reviewer highlighted the message of unity, something the world desperately needs.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 3:58 am by Manang Muyang.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Jennifer Garcia 555
I like the title, cover, and genre of this book. I was excited to read more about it. I read the sample pages and saw no errors, so this book seems professionally edited. I like that the characters seem very kind. This young girl meets a small man in the creek and is not scared but welcoming and friendly. The official OnlineBookClub review that I read made it sound like this book is geared towards a young audience. That is the same impression that I got from the sample pages. For this reason I will not buy or finish reading this book.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 3:29 am by Jennifer Garcia 555.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Soraya Bayah
I was completely engrossed in the few pages I read. I went in with the thought that it was a rather simple story for youngsters but was happy to see that I can enjoy it. I only dislike one thing, fate in stories, as in the Gen must find Elisse and Elisse only. I was happy to see adequate world building early on in the book. Fantasies never fail to grab my attention. I would pick this book from the genre, title, cover, and review, especially OBC, but what most of all impacted my decision was the pages that intrigued me to find more about this world. I found an error. Location 200,” He had never felt such helplessness as he (tied) to console her.”- tried. Nothing could be bettered except for the point of fate and the single error. I will happily indulge and see if the book lives up to its potential. Well done!
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 3:16 am by Soraya Bayah.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Shrabastee Chakraborty
This genre is one of my favourites. Based on the cover, the official OBC review's rating, and other public reviews, I decided to read this book. I did not find any errors in the first ten pages. Elisse recalled a day when she and her sister, Lenore, both had turned eighteen. The fine weather made her go to her favourite place, a moss-covered stone on the bank of the pond. She remembered her interactions with a young soldier, Drance. I loved the excerpt. Elisse's character exuded a certain innocence that made me want to know more about her. Her perceptive questions about life were also intriguing. I did not have any suggestions for improvement. Based on my reading experience, I would love to read the whole book.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 3:10 am by Shrabastee Chakraborty.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Justine Ocsebio
Because of the program, I was compelled to read the book. I didn’t want to sample the novel because I thought that I didn’t want to read young adult fantasy books for now. Based on the few pages that I’ve read, I would say the book has pretty decent writing that was suitable for the genre. I like how the narrative almost flows like a whimsical children’s book. In the beginning, Elisse is spending an afternoon outside when she meets a small, shabby-looking man. He is a Genish folk named Dimplin. I like the sample that I’ve read. However, while I dislike nothing about the book, I’m not going to read it because I’m not interested in the genre at the moment. The book seemed to have excellent editing, as I did not notice a single error. The OBC review was insightful. It surely helped with my decision.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 3:01 am by Justine Ocsebio.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Mutai Marshal
I wouldn't have read this book outside the FIrst Ten program because I could hardly connect with either the cover page or its title. From the sample, I couldn't pick anything worth liking. The initial pages seemed quite slow-paced. Having read the OBC review, I will not buy this book since I don't relish young adult books. It wasn't exceptionally edited as I noticed minor grammatical errors (such as 'Soon however, her concentration was broken by the sound of something stirring on the opposite bank.' A missing comma before 'however'). Lastly, I recommend using a consistent font to make the text neat.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 2:18 am by Mutai Marshal.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Gabriella H
The book cover is attractive, and I like the title. After reading the blurb and the OBC official review, I felt this might be a good adventure novel to read. I enjoyed the first ten pages, and I even read further than ten pages. I love the font, and the storyline reminded me of the stories I read in my childhood. I look forward to completing this book. If I weren't a part of this program, I would've sampled this book because of the attractive cover, title, and blurb. I didn't notice any errors, and I don't have any suggestions for improvement. Also, the customer review and the lack of an editorial review didn't influence my decision.
First Ten review added on March 31, 2022, at 2:03 am by Gabriella H.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Gabrielle Sigaki
Within the Crystal Mountain by J. L. Putney is a fantasy and young adult book that brings a curious character named Young Trofin, who wants to see the Crystal Mountain. If I didn't sample this book, I wouldn't read it based on its Official OnlineBookClub review, its customer review, its genre, and its blurb since I'm not interested in young adult books with fantasy, but also because the themes of helping other people and working in group didn't sound interesting in this context, for me. The cover and title didn't affect my decision. After sampling it, I didn't change my mind and I won't read the entire book because of the reason I stated before. However, the book doesn't seem professionally edited since I found punctuation errors while sampling it. For example, in "When she was little this was her throne," the author didn't use comma after the word "little." Therefore, the book could be improved with another round of editing. I also thought that some parts didn't contain enough explanation since I was confused about what the Genish were. There wasn't anything that caught my interest, so I didn't really enjoy any aspect of this book.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 10:39 pm by Gabrielle Sigaki.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sarah_Khan
At first glance, I thought the cover of this book was pretty and the title was intriguing. I thought the blurb was too vague, so I probably would not have sampled this without the First Ten program. I thought it was cool that Grisbin told such an interesting story that had people speechless for days. The OBC review was positive, but it did mention some editing errors. Personally, I did not notice any mistakes. The other reviews and comments I saw were also positive. After reading the sample and the review, I have realized this book is for a younger audience. For this reason, I will not be reading the rest. I do not have any suggestions for the author.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 7:10 pm by Sarah_Khan.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Catherine Hsu
I love fantasy genre and the cover looks beautiful! If I had not read the sample as part of the First Ten program, I would have read the book. The Amazon review also hyped the book's creativity and suspense, which I think I will appreciate. After reading the sample, I have changed my mind. I might recommend another round of editing for this book as I noticed a fragment after a semicolon with "his gaze remaining fixed on her hair." That was minor, however, and I think I most disconnected with the writing of Dimplin's story, which was written with several degrees of separation, which really broke immersion for me and made an exciting story sound passive and rigid. That's the biggest thing I'd change in the sample. Other than that, I still think the premise is quite interesting. The official review on OnlineBookClub did not affect my decision and it also mentioned some errors.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 6:41 pm by Catherine Hsu.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Diana Lowery
The cover and the title both emit fantasy vibes, so I would not have chosen this book. The Amazon blurb confirmed that it is fantasy, so I do not want to read it. The OBC review gave it three stars and mentioned that it was a YA book. This convinced me not to read the book. There was a sentence fragment at 13%, "That convinced me." I did not like the vocabulary in the italicized portions in the book because it was not at a YA reading level. I did like the colors on the cover. I do not have any suggestions for the author.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 4:58 pm by Diana Lowery.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Owuamanam Eberechukwu
Elisse moves through the kitchen to the stream. The weather was in its best form, and she also loved sitting by a rock on the side of the stream. The sound of the stream gives her solace. The pages I read tried to introduce Elisse and her life. I like the introduction pattern as the author bids his time to properly introduce the characters. The cover design is what I do not like, and I recommend it be adjusted. I like the name of the book. I would choose the book because of the title and not the cover design. I will not buy the book because its contents do not appeal to me. Elisse’s story doesn’t appear so interesting to get me to buy and read the book. The book is exceptionally well edited, at least on the pages I read. This is my view and was not influenced by OBC or any outside OBC reviews, blurbs, or comments.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 4:48 pm by Owuamanam Eberechukwu.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
chinonye-nonye
An author’s ability to court the interest of the reader with the first few lines and pages of a book cannot be overemphasized. The beginning of this book is too dry, casual, poetic, and detailed. And I would appreciate it if the author could give more life to the pages by presenting them in a glamorous way. The pages I read were exceptionally well edited. The cover design is too dull and the title is moderate, not so engaging and not so unique. I wouldn’t choose this book based on those two. I would not buy and read this book because the author’s narration style is too detailed and sluggish. Regardless of this, I still love how the author introduces the young soldier, Trance. The book revolves around love and Elisse's life struggles. This opinion is personal and not influenced by blurbs, reviews, or comments on OBC or outside OBC.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 4:37 pm by chinonye-nonye.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Jorge Leon Salazar
The cover and title are striking and consistent with the story. I think the target audience should be drawn to this book. In general, the fantasy genre is not my favorite. The blurb mentions that the story revolves around a farmer from the land of Gen, tasked with freeing his village from a mysterious enchantment. Next, he is joined by a company of friendly TallOnes as the enchantment portends dire consequences for them. On the journey, the small group goes from being hunters to the hunted. Eventually, their discovery has to do with the fabled Crystal Mountain. The only customer review is favorable. Based on these aspects, I am not prone to try this book. In the first ten pages, the characters of Elisse and Dimplin are highlighted. In the description of both, it is clear they are on the good side, and they will have a leading role in the plot. Conflicts between races and territories are introduced, such as the invasion of the village of Arinton where the tiny Genish live. This appears to have to do with the aforementioned hostility between the nation of Forsene and Elisse's country, Agan. It seems that Elisse and Dimplin will form a group to confront the invaders and it remains to be clarified if Drance will join them. Plus, I was curious to know if Dimplin will be reunited with his family trapped in the glass dome. The inclusion of illustrations looks adequate since it makes reading more pleasant and is in keeping with the young public. As in many fantasy stories, the presence of an almighty being is appropriate for the plot. In this case, Evershone is striking since in some way he dictates the guidelines and sets the actions that must be followed. The official OnlineBookClub review indicates that this fantasy story is geared toward middle-grade and young adults readers. In addition, it expresses that despite including multiple characters and events the story remains fluid and easy to understand for younger readers. The editing looks outstanding since I did not see any detail to comment on. Overall, I didn't see anything that I believe could be improved. What I read glimpsed a well-constructed plot. However, I am definitely not part of the target audience since I am not a fan of the fantasy genre and am already past the stage of young adulthood. In conclusion, I will not read the rest of the book.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 4:24 pm by Jorge Leon Salazar.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Annelore Trujillo
I would not have sampled this book based on the genre, blurb, OBC review, cover and title. I generally don't read science-fiction/fantasy books, and this one didn't seem to be for me. After reading the first ten pages, I won't be finishing this book. It started out talking about the battles and how one nation had overtaken the villages of another. Then it moved into Elisse meeting Dimplin. I just am not into this story. I'm not into the science-fiction/fantasy aspects or the war battles that are going on. I did like that a map was included at the beginning. There isn't anything specific that needs improvement. The book did seem to be professionally edited.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 4:19 pm by Annelore Trujillo.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Rosemary Owolabi
Had I not actually sampled the first ten pages as part of this program, I would have chosen to read the whole book after going through the customer reviews and editorial reviews, after considering the blurb, book cover, genre, and title.
I will buy and read the whole book because it has interesting parts about family, war, friendship, young love, and love of nature. J. L. Putney wrote this book in an entertaining style.
Reading the first ten pages changed my mind from the original guess.
I will read the book because the characters are believable and relatable.
Based on the sample that I read, it was professionally edited and I didn't notice any typos or errors. It had some formatting issues.
The bit I liked most in the first ten stories was the part where Elisse was admiring the embroidered slippers her sister, Lenore, made for her. I liked the sisterly love and thoughtfulness of both of them. Putney added more interesting aspects to the plotline to keep the story more interesting, like the story of the young soldier, Drance, that Elisse seemed to like after he helped her village, Winston, drive out the invaders that briefly overran her village because her country was at war with Forsene, a country close to Agan. Forsene declared war more than a year ago. Several nearby towns were already affected by the war. Drance was off to defend a village several miles to the north. Elisse gave a secret prayer for his safe return. At first, some people couldn't help but wonder why the two countries that used to live peacefully together were now enduring war and restlessness. Elisse sat on her favourite stone as she enjoyed the stream water and fish playing around her legs. She was thinking about the past: her parents, her sister, the stream (her santuary), Drance, and the war.
What could be improved? The story was still developing; it was too early to tell.
There was an official OnlineBookClub review that I saw, but this didn't affect my decision.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 3:35 pm by Rosemary Owolabi.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
gen_g
Just based on the cover illustration and title, the book seems to be a piece of science fiction; I am not in the market for science fiction books, so I would not have sampled it. I did come across a official OBC review (which was positive), but honestly speaking, OBC reviews are not something I consider when making the decision regarding sampling. Hence, OBC review (positive or negative) or not, my decision regarding sampling remains unchanged, i.e., I would not sample. Unfortunately, I have also spotted a couple of errors present – this is a pity, and I suggest more editing because I expect error-free reads (to me, this is the minimum). At 18% in the sample, the semicolon is wrongly inserted: "...her slippers; the ones...". A comma (rather than the semicolon) would suffice; a semicolon is used to separate independent fragments, and the second part that follows after the semicolon is not independent. Additionally, the formatting and typography is a mess – font sizes are inconsistent. Working with a professional editor looks to be necessary for the author in order for the book to be improved. Honestly speaking, after sampling, the writing flow is stilted. To elaborate, the author tends to include some abstract sentence commenting on various ideas right after introducing a certain scene. For example, when Elisse is recalling her memories the last few hours she spent with Drance, a young soldier, there is a comment on how "impermanence [amplifies] experiences" (in massive font, too). Personally speaking, there is no place for such philosophical comments in a piece of fiction (furthermore, it is not clear if these comments are from the author or the characters, given the emphasis on such comments via the increased font) – it spoils reading flow and detracts from immersion. Developing the scene and characters should take priority – such comments can be worked into the book via the characters, rather than out of nowhere. I think there still needs to be a lot done to improve the book, from the book's content to the typesetting. It should be obvious that I will not be buying the book.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 12:35 pm by gen_g.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Astral Magi
The eye-catching cover and title piqued my interest. I would have read the book based on these if I hadn't read the first ten pages. The first ten pages, as well as the official OBC review, convinced me that this would be a great book for children. I appreciated how the novel included a new perspective on gods. According to the customer reviews, there is a lot of action in this book, and I am confident that my niece will appreciate it. Although the official review highlights punctuation issues, I didn't notice any errors. Nothing could be improved in my perspective, and I believe the book was professionally edited.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 9:46 am by Astral Magi.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Sanju Lali
It was easy for me to guess that this was a supernatural fantasy storybook. I read the OBC official review of this book to know the premise of the story. The OBC official review gave me the idea that this is a quest-based fantasy adventure book. This idea inspired me to read the first ten pages sample of this book. After reading the first ten pages, I realized that this book was not professionally edited because I found some grammatical errors in the sample. For example, the sentence, "She removed her apron, hung it by the cupboard and, in a single motion, was out the door." The sentence could be as follows. "She removed her apron, hung it by the cupboard, and in a single motion, was out the door." In this sample, I liked the pleasing interaction between Dimplin and Elisse because it was charming. Sadly, I could not visualize the other scenes clearly because the narrative lacked some critical details in those scenes. I would have been happy if all the scenes were described with sufficient details with regard to their timing. My suggestion to the author is to go for a round of professional editing and solve my above-mentioned difficulties. Looking at all the aspects of this book, I decided not to purchase and read this book today until the author considers my difficulties.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 4:50 am by Sanju Lali.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Emy Katherine
When the village of Arinton becomes trapped beneath an impenetrable, cursed dome, Dimplin embarks on a dangerous journey to save his family and his village. Elisse, a young farmer girl, will help him accomplish his mission. Because I am not fond of young adult novels that contain elements of fantasy, I would not have read the book based on the cover, title, and genre. I found no editorial reviews, but I noticed a positive customer review. The Amazon blurb was also informative, but neither the OBC review nor the sample changed my mind. I must admit, though, that the writing style was engaging, and I also liked the author's choice to include black-and-white illustrations at the beginning of each chapter. All things considered, I would only suggest another round of editing; I found some errors that distracted me from my reading. For example, it should be written "sunburnt" in the following sentence: "His face was smooth, and his skin was fair, though sun burnt." (location 116 of 371 • 31%) There should be a comma after "Loquacious" in the following sentence: "As a result, the Genish bestowed on him the moniker, 'Grisbin The Loquacious' and have chronicled his performance, in both tome and song, to this day." (location 159 of 371 • 43%) I noticed a missing comma after "shell" in the following sentence: "Standing just inches from the transparent, undulating shell he noticed that it was indeed like a wall." (location 180 of 371 • 48%)
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 2:56 am by Emy Katherine.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Mildred Echesa
Dimplin finds Elisse by the river and they get to know each other. Dimplin tells Elisse the reasons for his journey and his origins. He is later invited by Elisse to her home where he meets the rest of her family.
I would be attracted to read the book by the book cover because it is wonderful and has a feeling of enchantment on it. I like the part where Dimplin couldn't let go of Elisse's hair. I did not notice any typos. I am unable to make online payments so I will not be buying and reading this book but I will do so immediately I can get the book.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 2:37 am by Mildred Echesa.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Rita Nuncia
Within the Crystal Mountain by J. L. Putney is a fictional young adult novel. It is a story about the adventure of a group of people who were seeking to deliver a village from an enchantment. The title and cover of this book caught my attention when I first saw them, and I would have read it without the First Ten program being the reason why. After reading the first ten pages, my mind was not changed, and with how captivating the first ten pages were, I immediately wanted to buy the book to continue reading it. It's a very interesting book, and with the creative and descriptive way the author is writing it, I became very intrigued with it. The book seems professionally edited, but for the sake of exceptionality, it will need another round of proofreading as I found one error (He had never felt such helplessness as he tied to console her). The word "tied" was used instead of "tried." I found it in line 11 of paragraph 14 under the chapter, Dimplin's Tale. I liked the author's descriptiveness most in explaining the scenes. Apart from needing another round of proofreading, I do not see anything else that needs to be improved in this book. The book has an official OnlineBookClub review.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 2:17 am by Rita Nuncia.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Ari Martinez
If it hadn't been for this program, I wouldn't have sampled this book based on its title, cover, genre, blurb, or Official OnlineBookClub review because I am not a big fan of YA novels since they tend to not go too deep when it comes to serious issues. From what I read, my favorite part was Dimplin's tale. I was especially enthralled when Dimplin began mentioning Grendfar. They all seemed like likeable characters that I would like to get to know more about. After reading the first ten pages, I will continue to read the book because I liked the writing style, and the story had a good flow. I also liked the characters – it felt like they came out of a fairytale. I can't think of any way to improve the book. In Location 220, the words "Tall One" are placed together ("TallOne"); however, I am not sure if this was a mistake or if it was purposely written this way.
First Ten review added on March 30, 2022, at 1:27 am by Ari Martinez.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Mariana Figueira
Before reading the book's first pages, I wasn't interested in it because nothing on the cover or the title got my attention. After sampling the book, I don't want to continue reading it because the story didn't captivate me. I didn't like the change in font size, it didn't add anything to the story if anything, it made it harder to read. This book seems professionally edited, I didn't see any typos; plus, it has an official Online BookClub review. I didn't see anything that I particularly enjoyed. Neither the blurb, customer reviews, nor editorial reviews affect my decision not to read the book.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 10:27 pm by Mariana Figueira.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kelyn
Even if I had not been a member of this program, I might have run across this book. Fantasy is one of my favorite genres. Both the cover and title are intriguing and would have drawn my attention. I am not familiar with the author, so that would not have influenced my decision. There is one positive rating on Amazon. Although it is not identified as being from OBC, the wording is precisely that of the official OBC review on this site. Given this, I believe that it is, in fact, from our OBC reviewer. This gave it slightly more weight in my mind. Honestly, after reading the blurb and the sample, the book seems to be a less complex version of Tolkien's "Hobbit" and "Lord of the Rings" series, with a few twists, of course, to make it the author's own. It is a version simplified for youth and children, to be specific. I loved Dimplin and was very amused by his awed reaction to Elisse and her long blond hair. The way he speaks ("But from the water, you must come first...") reminded me very much of the munchkins in the Wizard of Oz. Attractive as these tropes are to me, I've read many books which use them. I'm afraid I'm not looking to read another one of those types at this time. Still, there is nothing that I would change. I'm sure that children and young adults, as well as some adults, will get immense pleasure from reading it. The book seemed well-edited. I found no 'countable' mistakes in the sample.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 9:11 pm by Kelyn.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kaitlyn Canedy
If Within the Crystal Mountain hadn't been the OnlineBookClub's book of the day, I likely would have skipped the sample of it. This book's intended audience does not match my demographics, so I would not have read the sample otherwise. The description was intriguing, but I noticed that the one customer review mimics the official OnlineBookClub review. Because of this, I did not need to read this customer review to decide to check the sample out. I like the little man's interaction with Elisse; he is curious and different from her in many ways. Even after I finished the sample and read the official OnlineBookClub review for this title, I knew that this book was not for me because I am not a fan of young adult fantasies. There were no grammatical errors that I noticed, and I can think of no improvements. If a reader likes descriptive and adventurous books, this one may be for them.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 8:59 pm by Kaitlyn Canedy.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Hazel Arnaiz
The cover, title, and blurb hint at fantasy and magic. The feedback from a customer review is positive. I am not much into this genre. Hence I will skip this book outside the program. After sampling, I appreciate the illustrations. They jazz up the introduction to each chapter. Young readers might find it appealing. However, the storyline is not for me, and I prefer a faster pace. Hence, I will not finish the entire book. As for editing, here are examples of issues.
Location 104. Grammar. Consider changing to the plural form for number agreement with other words in the sentence.
Several nearby towns had already suffered [attack].
Location 127. Spelling. Compound words. Consider adding a hyphen.
She imagined his clothes would have been [nice looking], except for the wear they had endured, which gave them a sad, shabby look.
For improvement, I suggest adding a glossary. The list of the new terms from the worldbuilding will help the audience settle into the story. The official OnlineBookClub review is insightful, but I will pass.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 6:11 pm by Hazel Arnaiz.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Chinazo Anozie
I was interested in this book based on the title, cover, description, genre, customer reviews, and the official OnlineBookClub review, and I was prepared to read it. However, I changed my mind once I read the first few pages. Even though I love reading fantasies, Elisse and Dimplin’s story did not intrigue me enough to buy and read this book. This book seems professionally edited because I did not notice any typographical errors. I don’t think anything needs to be improved.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 5:42 pm by Chinazo Anozie.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kira Bonita Reece
I would have chosen to read this book based on the cover,
blurb, customer reviews and editorial reviews. The title was also inviting. I liked that this book had suspense but wasn't scary.
The official OnlineBookClub review stated that the book is recommended for a younger audience, but I thought I would still enjoy it. After reading the sample, I must admit that I find the story rather boring. One recommendation I would give the author is to keep the font size the same throughout the book. I found the change in font size irritating. The book did not seem to be professionally edited. On page 8 the author wrote, "He had never felt such helplessness as he tied to console her." 'Tied' should have been 'tried'. I won't be reading this one because it seems to he written for a younger audience and it doesn't pique my interest.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 4:25 pm by Kira Bonita Reece.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Chelsy Scherba
Well, I love The Lord of the Rings, so I can’t help but feel Dimplin is similar to a Hobbit. I liked the way he liked Elisse’s hair and has an adventure to talk about. This is a cute story that is also well-written, so I like that people of diverse ages can enjoy it. The OBC review mentioned the book is full of Christian symbology, which I really like and enjoy. I like the title and the cover is pretty. I have no suggestions for improvements because the book appears to be professionally edited. I didn’t see any errors, blurbs, or editorial reviews. There weren’t a lot of Amazon reviews, but the OBC review was very complimentary. I wasn’t looking for a book in this genre today, but I’ll add it to my list in case I want to read it in the future.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 3:35 pm by Chelsy Scherba.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Amy Luman
I’m not going to finish this book. Even though I like the sci-fi/fantasy genre, this falls too far on the fantasy side for my liking. The cover is beautiful, but from what I read, the title does not represent what is inside. The reviews, including the OBC one, and the blurb, did tell what it was about. I can’t tell from the little bit that I read whether it was professionally edited. I was concerned by the differences in typeface and font size depending on whether the text was reminiscing, telling a story inside the book, or just narrative. Perhaps this was intentional. I liked that Elisse had the same feelings about Drance going to war that people in our world do. I can make no suggestions for improvements as I am not interested in this genre and am not really sure what is supposed to happen.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 3:29 pm by Amy Luman.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda
I don't enjoy the fantasy genre very much, so I'm not interested in the cover, though it's pretty. The blurb seems too short and vague for a reader to make an informed decision. The author doesn't even mention the name of who I assume is the hero, he only says "a simple farmer," which makes it hard for the reader to feel invested in the story. The ratings are high, but I found the blurb uninformative and lackluster. Therefore, I wouldn't have bought the book based on my first impressions.
Though they didn't change my mind, the first ten pages have several praise-worthy assets. I especially liked Dimplin's description and the funny way in which he talks. I can imagine young readers imitating his manner of speech after reading this book. I also liked how the author doesn't dumb down his expressions for young readers but does provide an explanation for complicated concepts. For example, Elisse thinks "Impermanence does amplify our experiences." This is quite an abstract and complex thought, but the author follows it with a simpler one: "When you know they are fleeting, you do treasure them more." There was nothing I disliked, but the plot is too fantastic for my liking, and it seems to be directed at a younger audience. The official OBC review confirmed this book wasn't for me. Except for a few missing commas, I didn't find editing mistakes, but the reviewer assures there are some, so I recommend fixing those and expanding the blurb. I don't mention the missing commas because we've been encouraged to be lenient with comma usage.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 3:25 pm by María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Brenda Creech
I would not have checked this book out on my own based on the cover and title since I don't often read fantasy books. After reading the OBC review, I read a sample of the book. I did not read any other reviews or blurbs about this book. As I read the piece, I did not find anything I felt needed improvement. In the following sentence, I came across one typo at 53% of the sample: "He had never felt such helplessness as he tied to console her." The word 'tied' should be 'tried.' Otherwise, what I read was very well edited. I loved what few illustrations I saw in the short section I read, and I enjoyed the part where Dumplin was amazed by Elisse's hair and wouldn't let go of it so she could get up out of the water. It makes an excellent story for teens to young adults. And the theme of trust is an important one. I don't plan to read any more of the book as I feel it is too young for someone my age, but I will encourage my granddaughters to get and read it.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 3:25 pm by Brenda Creech.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Yvonne Monique
The book cover image perfectly depicts the book title. However, I do not find the book title very intriguing, so I would not pick this book up if I would see it in a bookstore. The customer reviews, blurb and OBC review did not convince me to read the sample. The sample seems to be well edited as I could not find any errors. The writing style is pleasant, and Elisse is a very likeable character. However, I did not find the beginning of the book interesting enough to carry on reading. Dimplin's appearance did not spark my interest. That is why I will not buy this book. I have no suggestions for improvement.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 3:15 pm by Yvonne Monique.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kajori Sheryl Paul
'Within the Crystal Mountain' is a fantasy book. It is written by J. L. Putney. Forsana and Alan are at war. One day, Elisse meets Dimplin by the stream. Dimplin was a Genish who had traveled from the North. I like the way the author gave a twist to the dialogues. The speech of different people is different. This is evident by the sentence construction. I really wanted to read a fantasy novel. So, I would have read this book based on the cover, title, genre, blurb, editorial reviews, and customer reviews. Moreover, the OBC review and the editing are good. There is nothing that would change. I will read this book as I want to know Elisse and Dimplin's story. I wish to know if the Genish are able to save their village.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 3:06 pm by Kajori Sheryl Paul.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
markodim721
I would choose to read a sample of this book because of the title and cover. I read the Official OnlineBookClub, the blurb, and the customer review but they did not influence my decision. I didn't find any editor reviews. The cover of the book is clearly designed and fits well with the title. The title of the book is symbolic and reminiscent of adventure. I will not read the book because I am not in the mood to read young adult action books at the moment. While reading the sample I did not notice any typos or errors and the book seems like it is professionally edited. Reading the sample somewhat changed my mind from my original guess. I like how Elisse in her childhood imagination considered a large, moss-covered stone for her throne because it looks authentic. I expected the book to start more dynamically and I think it needs to be improved.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 2:48 pm by markodim721.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Laura Ungureanu
This book has a very colorful and appealing cover. However, once I saw on Amazon that the book was considered Young Christian Action, I completely lost interest. The blurb, the OBC review, and the Amazon customer review couldn't convince me. The illustrations and the simple writing style made the book accessible to everyone and pleasant to read. Even though everything was so simple, the descriptions are detailed and the world is complex. I didn't understand why some passages were written with a bigger font than others, but it didn't disturb my reading experience. I don't have anything to recommend. However, I'm not interested in reading a book with Christian influence, so I will not continue reading it. I didn't notice any grammar issues in the first ten pages.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 2:37 pm by Laura Ungureanu.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Vidhi Adhikari
The cover, title and description of this book are quite average with nothing that jumps to my attention. That, coupled with the insufficient customer and OBC reviews, made me quite skeptical as to whether I should read the book or not. But what I liked the most in the sample were the pictures in the beginning of every chapter as they helped break the monotony while reading. But since the story seems too simple with a farmer trying to save his clan from evil enchantments, I will not be finishing this book. I would suggest starting the story with an exciting incident to better grab the reader's attention. There were some minor grammatical errors that should be looked into ('It was {remove 'on'} the day she and her sister Lenore had turned eighteen').
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 12:56 pm by Vidhi Adhikari.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Shridhar Suryawanshi
If I had not actually sampled the first ten pages as part of this program, I would not have chosen to read or sample this book based on the cover, title, genre, blurb, editorial reviews, and customer reviews that I saw because I believe in "don't judge a book by it cover." I won't read this book because the text was too confusing for me. Words like "Forscenes" and "Agan" were thrown in with barely any explanation. It is exceptionally edited since I did not find any grammar errors. I liked the pace of the book, but I suggest elaborating made-up words. An OnlineBookClub review did not affect my decision.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 12:17 pm by Shridhar Suryawanshi.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Rizki Pradana
I hadn't sampled the first ten of this program. Because of that, I had chosen to read this book based on the title. The information that people shared about this book could help me decide to buy this book or not.
I will buy and read this book because I was excited to read the rest of Trofin's journey. I want to know what kind of hardships that he faced during his journey.
From what I read, this book seemed perfectly edited because I didn't find errors. I don't think this book needs any improvements.
I saw an OBC review. It strengthened my decision to buy and read the book.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 11:42 am by Rizki Pradana.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Bertha Jackson
The cover of this book, the title, and the genre all grabbed my attention. The blurb and OnlineBookClub review intrigued me with the mystery surrounding Crystal Mountain, and I became curious about how the Genish and TallOnes interact and defeat the wizard. I like the simplicity of the author’s writing, which makes the book suitable for both children and young adults. Also, the illustrations are nicely done. The Amazon review did not influence my decision not to read this book. Although I am interested in the book, the plot did not move fast enough for my taste. I did not see any errors in the first ten pages, but I am confused by the different font sizes. Overall, the book appears to be professionally edited. I have no recommendations for the author. I will not purchase and read the book because it was too slow paced, and it did not keep my interest throughout the first ten pages.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 10:57 am by Bertha Jackson.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Theresa Moffitt
The cover art and title for this book are attractive. However, it looks to be a fantasy novel. Since that is not a genre I typically enjoy reading, I would not have picked this book up based in the cover alone. However, fans of this genre would likely pick it up based on the cover alone. The onlinebookclub.org review of this book was very positive. It recommended the book to readers who enjoy fantasy novels. It also noted that it was for a younger group of readers. It recommended it to young adult readers. Since I am not in the group of readers in the recommendation, the OBC review did not increase my interest in the book. It also stated that there were several punctuation errors. Since the OBC review provided significant detail about the book, I did not read any additional customer reviews or blurbs about it. While reading the first ten pages, I came across several punctuation errors, so I agree with the OBC review on that point. The author could have improved the book by having it professionally edited. One example of the errors I saw occurs on page 3 of the first chapter, “a comforting notion came to her that she could spend these hours down by the stream which ran near their cottage.” There should be a comma after “stream” in this context. The first ten pages introduced the character of Elisse. She is cooking soup in a pot in a cottage. She is also thinking back to the day she and her sister, Lenore, turned eighteen. The book includes a nice illustration of the young girl. Since this is a fantasy novel targeted at a young adult reader, I will not finish reading this book. However, I believe it will appeal to its intended audience based on the first ten pages that I read.
First Ten review added on March 29, 2022, at 10:40 am by Theresa Moffitt.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Total ~ 22%
Within the Crystal Mountain earned a score of 22%.
In other words, out of the top-level reviewers who read at least the first 10 pages of this book, 22% plan to read the whole book.
IMPORTANT: Any score over 10% is considered very good. And any score above 0% is acceptable.
Over a million books are published each year. Any given person could not even read .0001% of the books out there. This means readers have to be very selective. Even taking the time to look over reviews and blurbs, let alone read samples, is more time than most readers can afford for most books. The First Ten is a powerful focus group that addresses those issues. It creates a helpful tool for authors, publishers, and other readers.
Go to main Bookshelves page for Within the Crystal Mountain
