Could you date someone who doesn't read?

kendvp · Post by **kendvp** » 13 Dec 2009, 03:00

Wouldn't matter to me. We all have our hobbies, reading is just one of the many I have right now. Although I like a girl to share at least one or a couple of my hobbies. Whether it be hiking, going out, computers, reading, or whatever.

I went out with one girl who's only hobby was knitting, she had zero interest in anything else, wouldn't read, didn't like going out or anything. It drove me crazy, so I don't see her anymore.

Melton · Post by **Melton** » 13 Dec 2009, 20:35

if they were very attractive then absolutely i could

centaur · Post by **centaur** » 21 Dec 2009, 16:39

NEVER

i_love_reading09 · Post by **i_love_reading09** » 31 Dec 2009, 02:06

I wouldn't mind dating someone who doesn't read but I don't think a non-reader could handle dating ME. lol I talk about books all the time and I'd rather read than watch a boring sitcom on tv or talk during a long drive or something. I've been told that I'm intimidating because I read so much and use a big vocabulary when I talk. I can't help it lol reading makes me smart. But luckily, I found someone who loves that I read even though he doesn't read as much as I do and now he's my husband. But all in all, I think it would be a little difficult to date a non-reader but I wouldn't say that I wouldn't...if I was single lol

darkwolf423 · Post by **darkwolf423** » 09 Jan 2010, 10:47

I'm disappointed about all the
absolutely-never-would-i-could-i date a non-reader. I'm equally appalled as to how many people believe those who are not avid readers to be less intelligent or lack the ability to create stimulating conversation. My fiancée is not an avid reader in the least. He hates book stores and hates libraries even more. But he is a brilliant man. His conversations are enlightening and just as stimulating as anyone who is an avid reader. We might not talk about the finer points of Victorian literature and the Victorian views on man, nature and science but if we did, he'd bring a different set of opinions and sources than I would. It enriches the conversation and debate. It would never detract from it. It's so close minded to think "I could never date a non-reader" . I'm really shocked by all of those responses. Being a "non-reader" in no way, shape or form, detracts from intelligence. And I've found numerous amounts of people who read lacking intelligence as well. I don't think not reading should be a deal breaker in any relationship. That's just a silly and ridiculous idea.

StephenKingman · Post by **StephenKingman** » 09 Jan 2010, 11:15

darkwolf423 wrote:I'm disappointed about all the
absolutely-never-would-i-could-i date a non-reader. I'm equally appalled as to how many people believe those who are not avid readers to be less intelligent or lack the ability to create stimulating conversation. My fiancée is not an avid reader in the least. He hates book stores and hates libraries even more. But he is a brilliant man. His conversations are enlightening and just as stimulating as anyone who is an avid reader. We might not talk about the finer points of Victorian literature and the Victorian views on man, nature and science but if we did, he'd bring a different set of opinions and sources than I would. It enriches the conversation and debate. It would never detract from it. It's so close minded to think "I could never date a non-reader" . I'm really shocked by all of those responses. Being a "non-reader" in no way, shape or form, detracts from intelligence. And I've found numerous amounts of people who read lacking intelligence as well. I don't think not reading should be a deal breaker in any relationship. That's just a silly and ridiculous idea.

This.

I know many many people who are as sharp as a fox and can read people and situations very fast i.e. they are streetwise and have common sense, and lots of them have never read a book in their lives. It doesnt mean they are any less intelligent than the person who has no mates and spends hours a day pored over the latest Harry Potter novel. There is no correlation between intelligence and reading. Yes, there is a thing known as 'book-smart', which can be described as the general knowledge that a person who reads lots of books accumulates over time, but it doesnt necessarily make you 'life' smart.

I enjoy reading as a hobby very much but i wouldnt care less if my partner never read a book or never expressed an interest in doing so, i would rather date someone who was a laugh and who i could connect with rather than someone who lived only to preach others on the importance of reading in their lives. Any suggestion that two people could not connect due to a difference in hobbies is nothing less than elite snobbery.

jemado · Post by **jemado** » 09 Jan 2010, 14:04

darkwolf423 wrote:I'm disappointed about all the
absolutely-never-would-i-could-i date a non-reader. I'm equally appalled as to how many people believe those who are not avid readers to be less intelligent or lack the ability to create stimulating conversation. My fiancée is not an avid reader in the least. He hates book stores and hates libraries even more. But he is a brilliant man. His conversations are enlightening and just as stimulating as anyone who is an avid reader. We might not talk about the finer points of Victorian literature and the Victorian views on man, nature and science but if we did, he'd bring a different set of opinions and sources than I would. It enriches the conversation and debate. It would never detract from it. It's so close minded to think "I could never date a non-reader" . I'm really shocked by all of those responses. Being a "non-reader" in no way, shape or form, detracts from intelligence. And I've found numerous amounts of people who read lacking intelligence as well. I don't think not reading should be a deal breaker in any relationship. That's just a silly and ridiculous idea.

I fully agree. Reading is a hobby. Yes, it may improve a person's vocabulary or eloquence, but this is not solely dependent on if or how much that person reads. It seems sad to assume that someone who doesn't read is automatically lacking intelligence. As to the question, I wouldn't consider it a deal-breaker if I was dating someone who didn't read. As others have said, it'd be nice if they did read simply because I love to read and it would give us a hobby in common, but it's not a necessity.

harrisdy11378 · Post by **harrisdy11378** » 09 Jan 2010, 19:58

As long as the person is willing to share the same hobby, i think it's OK. It's not fair to shut the door immediately. If the other person has his own hobby, then you should also try to learn it. Variation is a good thing... it brings a different vibes.

gogi · Post by **gogi** » 19 Jan 2010, 02:57

dating a non-reader how scary.....to all those that think like that your all ignorant ppl....fair enough its true you might have something to talk to them about but books wont be the main topic in a relationship and if it is then it cant truly be a "real relationship"........some of you ppl have totally been lost in a fantasy world....iam sry but thats sad............life is not a book...and ur not a book.....so this question i think is stupid becuz u cant use books dictate ur relationship n for that fact ur life.

nikkirams · Post by **nikkirams** » 03 Feb 2010, 19:20

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 1/2 years and I love to read while he never picks up a book. It hasn't been a problem for us. We can talk for hours about anything, whether it's something I've read or not. I think it can work for people but obviously, it depends on the two people involved.

DazzleKitty · Post by **DazzleKitty** » 05 Feb 2010, 00:14

If reading is the foundation of your relationship, then I think it's a shoddy piece of work that isn't going to stand.

It's great to have a life partner that shares your interest. I've dated three guys in my life. None of them were big readers, and one of them didn't read at all. My current boyfriend doesn't read novels but he does read other things. However, it's not a hobby for him like it is for me. He is more of a tv and video game person, but the awesome thing is I like the same exact shows he does (and some of the same video games too).
To me, finding someone who share s your passion is just a bonus of a relationship. My boyfriend and I are both HUGE anime fans, so it's something we can both do together. But if he didn't like anime, I could still have fell in love with him. Loving someone is certainly more than being just about hobbies and interests. I know this sounds like a cheesy Lifetime moment, but love should run deeper than that.

Of course, there are people out there whom you share NOTHING in common with. And that isn't good. But sticking to one interest and saying someone isn't worth your time because of it is kinda sad, IMO. Also, simply because someone doesn't like to read doesn't mean they are morons. I've met plenty of people who like to read who I believe are simple-minded ditzes.

And that's my thoughts on the matter.

novelwhore · Post by **novelwhore** » 06 Feb 2010, 19:39

It depends, if they had other interests I think I could do it, but if they had nothing, ie played video games all day or just sat and watched TV, no way. I do tend towards men that read though, I've found them to be more open to experiencing life, different cultures and going outside of their comfort zone which is important to me.

rooserfeather · Post by **rooserfeather** » 06 Feb 2010, 21:58

Well, my wife doesn't read much, but it's OK. I often read to her, we both enjoy it. The ones she does read are quite good books, though.

31w30 · Post by **31w30** » 06 Feb 2010, 22:36

40 years ago when I was dating, reading was the last thing on my mind

I know what you are talking about as my wife reads fiction and I read History and we still have nothing to compare or talk about

lauragreen2005 · Post by **lauragreen2005** » 09 Feb 2010, 22:15

I am currently dating someone who chooses not to read, because of some traumatic relationship. In the beginning of the relationship I don't think he understood, that I choose to read because I like it, and although I love television, more times than not, I want to read a good book instead. Through time he has agreed to just let me read and be lost in my own little world.

Although he knows how to read, he has a hard time doing so because of what happened the last time he was reading a book, (don't want to get into it now), so as a happy medium, I sometimes read to him. Of course not all the books I read interest him, and not all the books I read interest me, but I think it's something that we can both enjoy this way.

I couldn't date someone who doesn't at least try and read something, even if it's not a novel, but like a book on birds or something. I think reading is essential, and although I don't expect anyone to read as much as I do, I do hope that someone can at least embrace the greatness that is reading, and getting lost in a story. It sparks the imagination.

I could never date someone who refused to read though.