Could you date someone who doesn't read?

JessyGirl88 · Post by **JessyGirl88** » 01 Mar 2010, 09:59

Seems like we all have different standards on a partner. I used to want a partner who's a bookworm too. But by the time I met my man, he's just right for the way he is. Even if he doesn't read books.

imstilljoeypotter · Post by **imstilljoeypotter** » 01 Mar 2010, 15:31

Eh, it would suck, but I probably wouldn't completely cross someone off because they didn't like to read. Now if they didn't like to read and they left the cap off the toothpaste, it would be SO over.

Kuroyuki · Post by **Kuroyuki** » 01 Mar 2010, 15:57

to be honest plenty of people male and female out there with no brain activity .

anyway, I could as long as the person at least likes to watch any good series or movies with a good story.
Because loving some form of story telling is a must! else I don't think I can keep a conversation going.

then again I can absolutely relate to what was said earlier about reading being something personal, and giving a form of satisfaction. There are story's I really like but would not like to discuss.

JessyGirl88 · Post by **JessyGirl88** » 02 Mar 2010, 00:35

Kuroyuki wrote:to be honest plenty of people male and female out there with no brain activity .

anyway, I could as long as the person at least likes to watch any good series or movies with a good story.
Because loving some form of story telling is a must! else I don't think I can keep a conversation going.

then again I can absolutely relate to what was said earlier about reading being something personal, and giving a form of satisfaction. There are story's I really like but would not like to discuss.

Hmmm well said well said

IceM · Post by **IceM** » 05 Mar 2010, 00:01

laci_baby wrote:
StephenKingman wrote:
laci_baby wrote:Definetely not. If someone doesnt have enough brain capacity to pick up a book and read to improve their mind then they deserve to be with the other nonreaders. I mean i get that not all people like to read (shudder) but still, i wouldnt date one of them.
That makes you fairly shallow in my opinion. Would you really care so much if your partner didn't like reading? Reading books does not make one intelligent, you know, it makes you book smart yes but i would rather have a partner that has some common sense and a personality than a snobby bookworm who doesn't know enough about the world to start judging people. Put it this way, your partner could be a lying cheating waste of space but hey, i guess if he reads a book then that's ok

True, it doesnt make one intelligent but IN MY OPINION it would help. I can see how that sounds shallow, but the people i know that dont read are snobbier than the people i know that do read. Readers i know have more personality and the ones that dont, are careless of how smart they are, which is hard for me to understand. Books to me are like knowledge and for people to not want to know just seems, as you said, a waste. And as for the lying cheating thing, I may be shallow but im not that shallow. im not saying, "hey if you read your in", im just saying if you dont theres no way. I like brains. But again, thats my opinion.

My experiences as a 16 year old across the Californian Central Valley (with what, a few million people?) have proved the contrary practically every time I've surveyed someone who has read. 87% of those who read consider themselves smarter, more intelligent, and more refined than those who don't. A survey I conducted.

With understanding J.L Borges, Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Dante, Goethe, Melville, Dickens, there comes subtle snobbery. YOU took the time to evaluate the various marvelous authors of their respective eras. YOU chose to decrypt their work and absorb their knowledge while others didn't. YOU spent your hours investing in the augmentation of the mind while others didn't. That inevitably contradicts your assumption.

It seems you just don't know enough people.

JessyGirl88 · Post by **JessyGirl88** » 05 Mar 2010, 01:31

So would you all prefer someone who loves to read but has a terrible attitude or someone who doesn't read for a hobby but is so faithful as a partner?

Verdun · Post by **Verdun** » 05 Mar 2010, 05:59

Of course you can. My partner never reads but there are other things than literature to 'talk about'. In fact, if all you can talk about is a book then that makes you a very self-centred and pompous sort of person.

JessyGirl88 · Post by **JessyGirl88** » 05 Mar 2010, 06:21

Verdun wrote:Of course you can. My partner never reads but there are other things than literature to 'talk about'. In fact, if all you can talk about is a book then that makes you a very self-centred and pompous sort of person.

Correct. I agree. You don't love your partner just because he/she loves to read. It shouldn't be the LONE standard for a partner.

Stinkin' Fascist · Post by **Stinkin' Fascist** » 17 Mar 2010, 15:33

If i refused to date someone because they didn't read, then I would have to refuse to date them for not sharing my taste in music, outdoor activities, favorite foods, movie genre, etc...

Have you seen the kind of world we live in???
Stop being so picky!

What my partner's interests are aren't my main focus, it's the personality and behavior, i could almost care less about looks and such. (i've dated from gingers, to hispanics, jamaican, french, "redneck," you get the point...)
I'm more "bothered by music anyhow, since it plays out loud and books don't exactly.

I'm perfectly fine with my partner not reading so long as they don't continually poke fun at me for it, get angry, or have that narrow-minded view pointed toward me.
They just have to accept it like I would accept them not reading, it goes both ways.
And trust me, they would really have to accept it, I read A LOT.
Occasionally it would take priority over something they wanted, sadly... but hey, happens.

callybee · Post by **callybee** » 17 Mar 2010, 23:00

DriftwoodJames wrote:No. Hell no. Hell No. It would not happen. Someone who chooses not to read, chooses not to excercise their mind, and a mind is the sexiest part of a woman's body. Then, all other things. I would never date someone who did not read. Dating such a person would result in reprehensions not worth my time.

Dating such a person would result in limited conversation, attention, and creativity. I prefer to date sociopathic mad-women. Something with a little spark in the gas furnace.

Danger and intrigue coupled with intellect and creativity are sexier than any run of the mill runway model, supermodel, or move-star.

J. Edward Nolan

This!

So true.

The mind is what's left when the body fades... and when you can't discuss things you're both interested in, or be on the same level as it, there leaves a blank hole.

My partner and I read together

it's great. We both usually have a book on the go, and will read for ours snuggled up in bed. This is one of my FAVOURITE things to do with my partner, something I would never replace. We might be away in our own minds following different stories, but we're alone, together. So satsifying.

I couldn't do it. I need someone I can have a conversation that can be reciprocated to the same level as me. This, tbh, would require his love of reading. I've never met a guy with an astute mind who didn't read.

west girl · Post by **west girl** » 18 Mar 2010, 04:12

I wouldn't say I would use the amount a person reads as a prerequisite to date. But what I have noticed is, the people I've dated that don't read have very poor use of the english language and don't seem to have a philosophical side.

I also find that they don't have much capacity to carry on intellectual conversation that stimulates my minde.

In the end though, it really depends on what is important to a person when picking a mate. If I have someone who loves me, is loyal and honest and has the same values, I don't need them to be a reader

Stinkin' Fascist · Post by **Stinkin' Fascist** » 18 Mar 2010, 11:07

Look, this whole thing about "brain capacity" & "can't date them if they don't read because they're stupid," it's kind of irrelevant.

I've met many people in my few years who don't read that are plenty capable of keeping up their side of an intellectual conversation.
And I live in California... I know airhead idiot when i smell it, not even see, smell.
Reading is just like someone not liking your job, having no interest in it or other hobbies, it compares to that since we enjoy and love it so much.

You just have to keep your eyes open for someone, try talking to them first w/out asking if they read.
It seems like this is a "would you ever get married" deal-breaker question.
You could always do a sort of compromise, you get them to start reading [or reading more] and they do something for you that they enjoy.
You never know what you could pick up.

YasminTiara · Post by **YasminTiara** » 18 Mar 2010, 12:29

Well for me it all depends on the girl and how open she is with it.

Stinkin' Fascist · Post by **Stinkin' Fascist** » 18 Mar 2010, 14:26

Well for me it all depends on the girl and how open she is with it.

How exactly does it depend on the girl?
What's the factor?
Open with it?

SamanthaKay · Post by **SamanthaKay** » 18 Mar 2010, 16:19

My mom married a guy who didnt read, maybe he read 1 book in a year, if that. My mom said that it did effect how much she read because he wanted to do other stuff rather than sit around the house and read a book. She still reads but not as often as she used to she says.