Could you date someone who doesn't read?

Quesitum · Post by **Quesitum** » 21 May 2010, 01:59

It's only natural to want to share the things you are passionate about with your significant other. Relationships are complicated and take a lot of patience and compromise, ideally people in relationships share common interests, but that is not always the case. I love to read while my boyfriend of 5 years... not so much. I will admit that it is sometimes disappointing to not be able to maintain a dialogue with him on a topic I care so much about. On the other hand, my boyfriend is a sports fanatic; baseball, basketball, boxing, soccer, football, golf, tennis, cricket, curling, you name it, if it requires even some semblance of athleticism, he watches it. I on the other hand, not so much.
Compromise does not necessarily mean pretending to like the same things your significant other likes. Compromise sometimes means accepting each others differences, respecting them and focusing on the things that brought you together in the first place.

pw2912 · Post by **pw2912** » 25 May 2010, 03:08

wishingstar · Post by **wishingstar** » 25 May 2010, 06:10

I think that it's hard to be with someone that doesn't read. For example I'm married to somone who doesn't read and it's hard. I have no one to ever talk to about any of the books that I read. He just is not interested in reading. Gosh I don't understand how someone could not want to read. It blows my mind! I guess it really just depends on the person.

stepbydesign · Post by **stepbydesign** » 29 May 2010, 01:07

How interesting, both of you would be reading ... 200% compatibility.

zinn · Post by **zinn** » 15 Jun 2010, 09:47

yes, as long as that person has a hobby of his/her own. my boyfriend is not a big reader but he totally understands (and even supports) my obsession with books. but, i have to say, it helps that he likes other types of books such as books about war or coffee table books on something such as war or great leaders of the past or interesting facts, etc. he is paying attention to which type of books i like and has started remembering the name or even buying me books if it is similar to those he knows i like

so it can work, if your boyfriend/girlfriend has a similar hobby, for example model hobby building or gardening or something. especially if it is something they can do while you are reading, or something you can do in the same room but not talk to each other - it is good quality time, i think!

Orca · Post by **Orca** » 15 Jun 2010, 11:13

I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone who doesn't read. Especially since books are a huge part of my life. However, I have the good fortune that my boyfriend does read books. He might not read as many as I do, but he does understand my addiction.

dippybud · Post by **dippybud** » 17 Jun 2010, 10:33

Reading is a part of my life; my boyfriend (whom I have been with for over a year) rarely reads. When he does, the only titles he picks up are various biographies, autobiographies, or journals from his favorite bands and musical artists.

If asked this same question two or three years ago, I would have found it hard to answer. Now however, I find that while I relay to John the countless tales of far away lands and extraordinary adventures, he is thrilled to listen. On the other hand, John's love of music provides me with an endless (and not to mention interesting) encyclopedia on both of our favorite artists.

The passion for fiction gives readers a special talent for storytelling, and while the object of your affection may not share your love of books, they cherish your passion for the things you love.

Bickn102 · Post by **Bickn102** » 03 Aug 2010, 10:32

My husband isn't a reader but it actually works perfect for us. He loves that I read and since he's more of an auditory learner he always asks me about what I'm reading and wants me to "tell him the story" which actually gets me to think deeper about what I'm reading because I'm telling someone who doesn't know about it. I also have got him into some audio books because he has a long commute. Plus, he plays a lot of video games which I can't stand so we'll sit at home together, with him playing games and me sitting next to him reading and we're as happy as clams.

joanre101 · Post by **joanre101** » 03 Aug 2010, 12:00

I have been in love three times in my life. All three have been readers. The first two shared my basics tastes (Russian novels with dark humor, for example.) The DH actually reads a lot, but he tends to favor the sort of science fiction/fantasy sort of stuff that isn't my taste at all. Also, he doesn't enjoy discussing the books that he reads. We both read, but very different books and separately. There have been a few occasions over the years when when we have both read a non-fiction book. Then there was some discussion; but sometimes I miss having exciting literary discussions and being turned on to a book I come to love.

PhotonicGuy · Post by **PhotonicGuy** » 04 Aug 2010, 06:07

I really don't know if this can be a criteria to choose the life partner... But I'm lucky because my partner is a big reader, so we discuss about books all the time.

oloroso36 · Post by **oloroso36** » 04 Aug 2010, 08:52

I've dated readers and non-readers, and it was never an issue. I married a reader, although we do not read the same type of books.

theonlinetrainers · Post by **theonlinetrainers** » 04 Aug 2010, 09:35

First, I would like to say that I'm really happy to be a new member of this great forum where I can meet new friends, new sisters and brothers all around the world....and I'm really happy that my first post is to answer such an important question like yours....and my answer is and will always be..." I Will never ever date any one who doesn't not read"...Simply cause if this person doesn't read...then how can he read my mind! how can he read my brain or my heart how can he see the beauty of this wonderful world if doesn't see the beauty of reading! In fact...Such a man is not deserved to be loved or dated by any woman because such a relation with some one like that will simply be a big waste of time!

Again...thank you for reading my post and I'm really happy to join this forum....

Zachs.wifey · Post by **Zachs.wifey** » 05 Sep 2010, 23:19

So many posts on this! I am married and have pestered my husband for a long time to read with me, but if it is not something he really is interested in, he has no interest in reading. It drives me up the wall!!! I love him dearly, so yes it can be done but I crave an intellectual conversation with him over a good book we are reading together.

Mairin · Post by **Mairin** » 06 Sep 2010, 10:17

My second date with my husband he took me to the Tattered Cover (a very large bookstore here in Colorado that also has a stringed quartet that plays). I've dated guys who didn't read, and I'm sure I would have married my husband even if he didn't read, but it is a nice plus!!

Runslikesnail · Post by **Runslikesnail** » 06 Sep 2010, 10:37

Mairin wrote:My second date with my husband he took me to the Tattered Cover (a very large bookstore here in Colorado that also has a stringed quartet that plays). I've dated guys who didn't read, and I'm sure I would have married my husband even if he didn't read, but it is a nice plus!!

I think I would definitely marry a man who took me to the Tattered Cover on a second date!!

That said - I was once so excited to see a book I had enjoyed on the nightstand of a man I was dating. I thought it was such a good sign! The book was still sitting there when we broke up a year later. I think he had picked it up once. LOL! It must have been a prop!
And now that I think about it - the turning point in our relationship may have been when I started bringing a book with me all the time because I could no longer stand to waste my time watching the same boring inane tv shows over and over. Hmmmm ...