Could you date someone who doesn't read?

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Danielle Moffatt
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Re: Could you date someone who doesn't read?

Post by Danielle Moffatt »

Great question! I've never actually dated a reader now I come to think of it! Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be able to have a shared hobby with somebody but it isn't a deal breaker for me. My previous partners have all had their own hobbies which I have no interest in, which leaves me time to read in peace! My mum and I both love reading and I love having this bond with her, where we have our own mini book club. I don't feel like my partners are lacking because they choose not to read. My current partner actually does read self help books and isn't interested in reading fiction, but he always asks me about the storyline of my current book, so that alone is enough for me! (I can talk about my books with him without boring him).
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Bookswithing
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Post by Bookswithing »

I would, but there would need to be a lot of common ground by other means. Or a reason. It's not just about literacy, it's about attitude.

Years ago I was with a chap who didn't see the point in reading if you didn't have to ie for work, school, uni. He was literate, no issues there, just had zero interest in reading. Often told me I was wasting my time reading, even though I was still studying at the time. He seemed resentful of anything beyond a page or so of technical reading for his own profession, so it wasn't just about reading fiction for relaxation or me 'wasting' my time on reading for a course he had a low opinion of. (Teaching. Maybe there were some red flags there too? Live and learn.) He was appalled that I often re-read something for fun, ie once wasn't enough, or read texts I'd first read in school. Why would anyone choose to read Shakespeare of their own free will? Or Dickens, Austen, and so on.

Another fellow struggled to read, had long term literacy problems he was working on, and this included a diagnosis of ADD/ADHD. His attitude was completely different though, as he had an enquiring mind, was interested in other opinions and ideas. Great conversations. The rise of graphic novels was a boon for him, and he introduced me to some amazing works in that genre.
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Ma Leonarda Castañares
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Post by Ma Leonarda Castañares »

I will force him to read :x
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chandlermyer
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Post by chandlermyer »

I doubt I could date a non-reader. Sometimes such people lack imagination.
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Emily Pogatshnik
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Post by Emily Pogatshnik »

I could, however they have to know that I read as much as I possibly can. I've been in a couple of relationships in the past that didn't support this. It wasn't a "red flag" for me then, but it sure is now.
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Post by Queenelene »

Yes I would, narrating to them my experience in the imaginary would would be amazing.
Christine Palmer
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Post by Christine Palmer »

As long as they have an interest or hobby that can also be done solo while I spend hours reading I certainly would have back in my single days.

My husband is an avid reader, but we don’t read the same genre. I have no clue what is going on in his fantasy books and he would never pick up chic lit like me. We don’t discuss reading, it’s our own recharge time. Basically not any different than if he watched movies or did crossword puzzles.
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cara_parkerr
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Post by cara_parkerr »

seems like a tough question, but when I think about it every relationship I’ve been was with a person who didn’t read. I would certainly get more satisfaction being able to have a more in-depth conversation about the books I read, but a s/o who will just listen to you explain the book can also be rewarding.
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Post by kitkat_15 »

I’m an avid reader but my partner doesn’t read at all. I don’t have a problem with it. He’s very supportive of me reading and he likes to hear about what I’m reading about which I enjoy. He’s also there for me when I’m crying about fictional characters dying!, which I appreciate haha.
Robert Fobbs
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Post by Robert Fobbs »

Well I tried to date a non reader an it stopped me from reading for years because of the simple fact that she got jealous of the time that I was spending with the books so in order to stay in that relationship I sat aside reading . I learned that besides music reading is my passion an I'll never make that mistake again
TheBlueRaven
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Post by TheBlueRaven »

My ex only read articles and sometimes some science book (but rarely), still count that as reading.
But date someone who doesn't read at all, well... I don't think so. Unless has a very open minded personality and we can discuss all kind of topics.
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Kathryn Luisa Lauritzen
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Post by Kathryn Luisa Lauritzen »

I could, and I have, and I do. Most people I have dated have been gamers, artists, musicians, etc. Most of them don't read books. Some, not all, of them were highly intellectual, and we can discuss a huge variety of subjects beyond books. They all understood that I read in my spare time, and because they were interested in things other than reading, I discovered topics I could read about that I wouldn't have thought of that I found enjoyable. Having hobbies that are different from your partner's is refreshing and allows you to have things you enjoy without always needing to have your partner involved.

My current boyfriend is someone I met at a rave. He's not into reading books but spends much time researching information. Like myself, he is curious about a wide variety of topics, and we can talk for hours about many different things. We can also enjoy a variety of activities together. If I want to include him in my reading hobby, I suggest I read out loud to him, and then we spend time discussing what was read. This is a great bonding moment for us, and we both find it fun and relaxing; it also allows me to see the book and topic from a different perspective. :)
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Amber Seigler
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Post by Amber Seigler »

lpedersen1498 wrote: 28 Dec 2022, 02:17 My husband is definitely not a reader. I've tried to find books he'll enjoy, and in the occasion that he decides to humor me, he flies through a book. His response is always, "It was ok. It's a book."
He loves bragging to others about how much I read, buys me books, and even built me a free library for our yard. He also humors me by pretending to listen to me talk about books I'm reading and asks for summaries. I like talking to him about what I read because he'll never get mad at me for spoiling something!
I figure it's good for us to enjoy different things and then share in the other's enjoyment. It works just fine for us!

This is exactly how me and my husband are. He is not a reader but knows I enjoy it so he humors me by letting me talk about books and every now and then gets one to read for himself.
Melissa Pae
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Post by Melissa Pae »

Being an avid reader is one of my favorite pastimes! With that being said, I realize not everyone is going to share my passion and that’s ok. I’ve been married for almost 10 years and my husband rarely reads…I definitely find it odd, but realize we are different people, and that’s ok too!
Mia Smith 7
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Post by Mia Smith 7 »

No, I feel like we just wouldn't understand each other. Reading is such a big part of my life that it just wouldn't work out at all.
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