Review of The Unfakeable Code®
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Chris Chapia
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Review of The Unfakeable Code®
[Following is a volunteer review of "The Unfakeable Code®" by Tony Jeton Selimi.]
I'll begin this review with a question... You know how sometimes a book feels like it's asking you to sit down, look yourself in the mirror, and ask, "Is this really who I want to be?" That’s what reading The Unfakeable Code® felt like for me—less like instruction and more like a very personal, sometimes uncomfortable conversation with someone who sees through you but isn’t trying to shame you for it. Tony Jeton Selimi doesn’t speak in fluff or vague platitudes. He builds something here that’s both intensely reflective and socially awake, a kind of blueprint for aligning self-growth with a wider human responsibility. It’s not some feel-good self-help pep talk. It’s more like... "Hey, if you’re ready to stop lying to yourself, I’ll walk with you.”
Early on, I found myself drawn into Tony’s framing of goals—not as trophies to win, but as expressions of your deepest values. I think a lot of us are guilty of chasing shiny outcomes because we’ve mistaken them for meaning. Promotions, image, likes, applause. I can say it’s something I’ve fallen into more than once. Tony’s idea of authentic goal setting cuts through that noise. He pushes you to ask who your goals serve—not only you, but others too. It made me pause, especially when he explored value-misalignment in people who appear “successful” yet feel hollow. His client stories—like the executive who climbed the ladder only to realize the ladder was leaned against the wrong wall—gave these ideas more teeth.
Then there’s the win-win-win-win framework. Admittedly, the name sounds like a marketing catchphrase, but in context, it feels earned. Tony uses this to argue for a kind of leadership that nurtures more than it takes. Goals, decisions, even conversations should elevate the self, others, community, and humanity. I’m still chewing on that—how that applies in my own work, in the way I show up in relationships. One part that stayed with me was how he encourages clients to reflect on whether their day-to-day actions nourish connection and shared purpose, or just feed ego and security. There’s a story about a businesswoman shifting her whole career focus to serve her local community more directly. I think stories like that carry more weight than theory alone.
I liked how Tony treats relationships. He doesn’t feed us the overused idea that love should complete us or that partnerships are “goals” in and of themselves. Instead, he writes about them as places we go to grow—to burn, to rebuild, to shed the layers we’re hiding behind. I felt seen reading those sections, especially when he wrote about projection and unhealed wounds playing out silently in how we communicate. Though, if I’m honest, some of the guidance there felt a little too neat. The advice leans toward the ideal, the “what should be,” without fully unpacking how layered and messy real relationships can be. I get it’s hard to map out all the nuances, but I wonder if some acknowledgment of power imbalances or trauma dynamics would’ve made those parts feel even more grounded.
Still, it’s a powerful read. It doesn’t offer magic fixes, but it absolutely demands honesty. And if you’re willing to go there, there’s a lot to unearth. I walked away from it feeling more accountable to the way I pursue success, more conscious of what my decisions ripple out into. I can’t say every bit of advice will land for everyone. I’m not sure anything ever does. But I do think this book is a meaningful attempt to draw a line between living well and living truthfully. For that alone, I’d give it 5 stars without blinking.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
I'll begin this review with a question... You know how sometimes a book feels like it's asking you to sit down, look yourself in the mirror, and ask, "Is this really who I want to be?" That’s what reading The Unfakeable Code® felt like for me—less like instruction and more like a very personal, sometimes uncomfortable conversation with someone who sees through you but isn’t trying to shame you for it. Tony Jeton Selimi doesn’t speak in fluff or vague platitudes. He builds something here that’s both intensely reflective and socially awake, a kind of blueprint for aligning self-growth with a wider human responsibility. It’s not some feel-good self-help pep talk. It’s more like... "Hey, if you’re ready to stop lying to yourself, I’ll walk with you.”
Early on, I found myself drawn into Tony’s framing of goals—not as trophies to win, but as expressions of your deepest values. I think a lot of us are guilty of chasing shiny outcomes because we’ve mistaken them for meaning. Promotions, image, likes, applause. I can say it’s something I’ve fallen into more than once. Tony’s idea of authentic goal setting cuts through that noise. He pushes you to ask who your goals serve—not only you, but others too. It made me pause, especially when he explored value-misalignment in people who appear “successful” yet feel hollow. His client stories—like the executive who climbed the ladder only to realize the ladder was leaned against the wrong wall—gave these ideas more teeth.
Then there’s the win-win-win-win framework. Admittedly, the name sounds like a marketing catchphrase, but in context, it feels earned. Tony uses this to argue for a kind of leadership that nurtures more than it takes. Goals, decisions, even conversations should elevate the self, others, community, and humanity. I’m still chewing on that—how that applies in my own work, in the way I show up in relationships. One part that stayed with me was how he encourages clients to reflect on whether their day-to-day actions nourish connection and shared purpose, or just feed ego and security. There’s a story about a businesswoman shifting her whole career focus to serve her local community more directly. I think stories like that carry more weight than theory alone.
I liked how Tony treats relationships. He doesn’t feed us the overused idea that love should complete us or that partnerships are “goals” in and of themselves. Instead, he writes about them as places we go to grow—to burn, to rebuild, to shed the layers we’re hiding behind. I felt seen reading those sections, especially when he wrote about projection and unhealed wounds playing out silently in how we communicate. Though, if I’m honest, some of the guidance there felt a little too neat. The advice leans toward the ideal, the “what should be,” without fully unpacking how layered and messy real relationships can be. I get it’s hard to map out all the nuances, but I wonder if some acknowledgment of power imbalances or trauma dynamics would’ve made those parts feel even more grounded.
Still, it’s a powerful read. It doesn’t offer magic fixes, but it absolutely demands honesty. And if you’re willing to go there, there’s a lot to unearth. I walked away from it feeling more accountable to the way I pursue success, more conscious of what my decisions ripple out into. I can’t say every bit of advice will land for everyone. I’m not sure anything ever does. But I do think this book is a meaningful attempt to draw a line between living well and living truthfully. For that alone, I’d give it 5 stars without blinking.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
