Review by nefausey -- The Bonding by Imogen Keeper
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nefausey
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- Latest Review: "The Bonding" by Imogen Keeper
Review by nefausey -- The Bonding by Imogen Keeper
[Following is a volunteer review of "The Bonding" by Imogen Keeper.]
1 out of 4 stars
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This is a review of the paranormal romance/erotica The Bonding by Imogen Keeper. The theme of the story, as is common with romance stories, is "love conquers all." Before I go any further, I must warn you; this story is explicit and pretty vulgar. I would consider it much more erotica than romance. I will also be using vulgar language in order to review the book properly.
Nissa is the queen designate (a.k.a. princess) of a small alien planet, which is being attacked by another vicious alien life force. In a desperate attempt to save the future of the planet's inhabitants, the ruling family decides to run a lottery to determine the 100 people (mostly women) who will flee from the planet via escape pods. At this point, we meet Tam, our male lead. He is a warrior in another alien planet military force, doing a solo recon mission when he stumbles upon Nissa's pod. He reels it in, not knowing what's inside, and is shocked to find a woman. His planet had its female population almost annihilated by the same vicious aliens who attacked Nissa's planet, so finding a woman is a big deal. He pulls her out of her pod and discovers that she's dying from prolonged exposure to space.
Here's where the whole thing takes a turn for the gross. The only way to save this delicate, once in a lifetime woman is to cum in her mouth and bang the daylights out of her. Keep in mind, these are two separate alien races, who cannot communicate, plus she's extremely ill and likely unable to understand anything anyway. But it's okay, because he has pheromones that make her want to jump his bones anyway. They have hours of perfect sex, and become officially bonded, which is essentially being married, except they're physically bound together, too. The descriptions of sex are incredibly vulgar and disgusting. There's actually a description of him wiping his cum all over her body and making sure she smells like him before they land on his planet. Part of this is due to him being concerned that she will be attacked by all of the desperate men with blue balls, and the other is just so he can claim her as his own.
When they get to the planet, they meet with his commander because she discovered that the escape pods have been floating in space for almost 500 years and they're starting to break down. During the meeting we learn that Nissa needs to suck Tam's cock every 3 hours or so, or else she'll get sick. The way we figure this out is that the men in the room get uncomfortable because they can SMELL HER! Super freaking gross! Not to mention humiliating. In one sentence, the elegance and grace that a queen-designate is supposed to have is completely shot. Anyway, it takes a few chapters and much hemming and hawing before any progress is made, but I won't go any further and spoil the story. If somehow you are reading this book for the story, I will say that the twist is pretty obvious. You practically get hit over the head with it.
Let's talk about the relationship between Nissa and Tam. There basically is none. The "must bang every 3 hours" rule was obviously just created so the author could have an excuse to put in more sex scenes. It was really difficult for me to keep my eyes focused when every time I saw the word "cock" they just wanted to glaze over (stay tuned, I'll include word counts). Of course they have perfect tandem orgasm sex almost every time. He's got the biggest penis in the universe and she's got the perfect vagina. She's constantly wet and he's constantly hard. They're just the most perfect pair. Except that they barely know each other and neither one actually wants to tell the other what they're thinking. She has a bad dream, he wants to comfort her, she hops on pop and rides him to end the conversation. He doesn't want her to think about how bored she is being holed up in his room, so he pulls up her skirt and starts grinding away while she's talking. Neither one of them want to put any effort into the relationship, but they're supposedly terrified at the idea of being apart.
But I'm sure the book is supposed to be much more about the sex scenes than the relationship or the story anyway. Just take a look at the world building (or lack thereof) and you can see that the author didn't put much thought into the backstory. They say things such as "godsdamned," which suggests some kind of religion, but nothing is ever discussed, other than the moons being named after Nissa's race's gods. Tam also says this, but there is absolutely no religion specified for him. And the worst (and most annoying) lack of effort put into world building is in some of the food and drink options. Namely, eeffoc and akdov. Seriously? How can an author have so little imagination? Reversed English does not equal an alien language. It ripped me right out of the story every time I saw one of these words.
In the end, the couple decide that they do love each other (although there's very little reason to). It doesn't seem like the characters actually develop, although we're told that they do. My advice to the author: Stop relying on erotic scenes and vulgar words to carry your story (unless they're actually written well). I understand, you know how to swear. Now learn to write.
Word Counts:
F**k (or some variation)- 133 times
Cock - 100 times
Pussy - 35 times (I could have sworn there were more)
I would give this book a 1 out of 4. I'm not opposed to erotica, but this book just wasn't done well enough to be a book. Throw it on Literotica.com and be done with it.
******
The Bonding
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1 out of 4 stars
Share This Review
This is a review of the paranormal romance/erotica The Bonding by Imogen Keeper. The theme of the story, as is common with romance stories, is "love conquers all." Before I go any further, I must warn you; this story is explicit and pretty vulgar. I would consider it much more erotica than romance. I will also be using vulgar language in order to review the book properly.
Nissa is the queen designate (a.k.a. princess) of a small alien planet, which is being attacked by another vicious alien life force. In a desperate attempt to save the future of the planet's inhabitants, the ruling family decides to run a lottery to determine the 100 people (mostly women) who will flee from the planet via escape pods. At this point, we meet Tam, our male lead. He is a warrior in another alien planet military force, doing a solo recon mission when he stumbles upon Nissa's pod. He reels it in, not knowing what's inside, and is shocked to find a woman. His planet had its female population almost annihilated by the same vicious aliens who attacked Nissa's planet, so finding a woman is a big deal. He pulls her out of her pod and discovers that she's dying from prolonged exposure to space.
Here's where the whole thing takes a turn for the gross. The only way to save this delicate, once in a lifetime woman is to cum in her mouth and bang the daylights out of her. Keep in mind, these are two separate alien races, who cannot communicate, plus she's extremely ill and likely unable to understand anything anyway. But it's okay, because he has pheromones that make her want to jump his bones anyway. They have hours of perfect sex, and become officially bonded, which is essentially being married, except they're physically bound together, too. The descriptions of sex are incredibly vulgar and disgusting. There's actually a description of him wiping his cum all over her body and making sure she smells like him before they land on his planet. Part of this is due to him being concerned that she will be attacked by all of the desperate men with blue balls, and the other is just so he can claim her as his own.
When they get to the planet, they meet with his commander because she discovered that the escape pods have been floating in space for almost 500 years and they're starting to break down. During the meeting we learn that Nissa needs to suck Tam's cock every 3 hours or so, or else she'll get sick. The way we figure this out is that the men in the room get uncomfortable because they can SMELL HER! Super freaking gross! Not to mention humiliating. In one sentence, the elegance and grace that a queen-designate is supposed to have is completely shot. Anyway, it takes a few chapters and much hemming and hawing before any progress is made, but I won't go any further and spoil the story. If somehow you are reading this book for the story, I will say that the twist is pretty obvious. You practically get hit over the head with it.
Let's talk about the relationship between Nissa and Tam. There basically is none. The "must bang every 3 hours" rule was obviously just created so the author could have an excuse to put in more sex scenes. It was really difficult for me to keep my eyes focused when every time I saw the word "cock" they just wanted to glaze over (stay tuned, I'll include word counts). Of course they have perfect tandem orgasm sex almost every time. He's got the biggest penis in the universe and she's got the perfect vagina. She's constantly wet and he's constantly hard. They're just the most perfect pair. Except that they barely know each other and neither one actually wants to tell the other what they're thinking. She has a bad dream, he wants to comfort her, she hops on pop and rides him to end the conversation. He doesn't want her to think about how bored she is being holed up in his room, so he pulls up her skirt and starts grinding away while she's talking. Neither one of them want to put any effort into the relationship, but they're supposedly terrified at the idea of being apart.
But I'm sure the book is supposed to be much more about the sex scenes than the relationship or the story anyway. Just take a look at the world building (or lack thereof) and you can see that the author didn't put much thought into the backstory. They say things such as "godsdamned," which suggests some kind of religion, but nothing is ever discussed, other than the moons being named after Nissa's race's gods. Tam also says this, but there is absolutely no religion specified for him. And the worst (and most annoying) lack of effort put into world building is in some of the food and drink options. Namely, eeffoc and akdov. Seriously? How can an author have so little imagination? Reversed English does not equal an alien language. It ripped me right out of the story every time I saw one of these words.
In the end, the couple decide that they do love each other (although there's very little reason to). It doesn't seem like the characters actually develop, although we're told that they do. My advice to the author: Stop relying on erotic scenes and vulgar words to carry your story (unless they're actually written well). I understand, you know how to swear. Now learn to write.
Word Counts:
F**k (or some variation)- 133 times
Cock - 100 times
Pussy - 35 times (I could have sworn there were more)
I would give this book a 1 out of 4. I'm not opposed to erotica, but this book just wasn't done well enough to be a book. Throw it on Literotica.com and be done with it.
******
The Bonding
View: on Bookshelves
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Latest Review: "The Bonding" by Imogen Keeper
