Review by nikkon -- The Expelled by Mois Benarroch
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nikkon
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Review by nikkon -- The Expelled by Mois Benarroch
[Following is a volunteer review of "The Expelled" by Mois Benarroch.]
2 out of 4 stars
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I rate this book as 2 out of 4 stars
The story starts out with the main character on a public transportation. As he is riding, he starts off having an inner monolouge about how he is a writer and discussed to the reader about him having marriage issues with his wife named Gabrielle. This is because he did not work and instead became a writer that is soon going to be published. He later tells the reader that he hopes that his wife and him would go and have a divorce since he knew that it wasn't working out for either of them at all. As soon as he said this, he spots a young women who looks exactly like his wife but younger enter the public transport and he soon pursues her when they reach a stop.
Once he reaches up to her, they begin talking. It turns out that the young girls name is also Gabrielle and that she has a veey similar story to that of his wife. They later on have adultry and as soon as he comes home, he also suspects that his wife has a secret lover and also accuses her in a way. Which I find to be a bit hypocritical on his part. While reading this, the story has potential but I found a few issues with it that I hope the author would change in the story to make it a lot more better.
The first issue I had notice with this book was how long the sentences were in the story. Not only that, but the author seems to go off on a tangent and not stick to a traditional story writing format. His writing process is at best: hard to follow. He tends to go off topic from time to time which confused the hell out of me to where I had to reread what he wrote in the story passage. This is a huge no-no when one decides to be a writer, since it is the writers job is to make the reader fully engaged in the storyline and not to make them feel like they have to be forced into reading the story.
The second issue I had with this story, is that around the second chapter. There is not continued flow of what happened between the young Gabrielle and the main character. But instead a whole new setting and confusing plot as if the previous characters in the story was forgotten. I see no purpose of this new setting and anew story that is going on in here and that the writer should scrap this out or somehow make this merge more successfully in the previous beginning storyline.
The third issue I had with this story was the grammical errors that popped up from time to time along with the spelling. It's apparent that the authors first language was not at all, the English Language. There are times where the author would have a passage like ex "Isawherand" making it a bit difficult for me to read. I do admit the English Language is not easy to learn with all our rules of nouns, pronouns, subjects, adjectives and so on being manifested in there, but if the author wants their works in English, they have to abide by the English Language rules or have a bettee Translator to do it for him.
Conclusion, while I did give the book a bit of a poor rating, the idea behind the book is worth salvaging. It is an interesting concept to bring forth to the reader about not cheating on your spouse, even if they are the legit younger versions of themselves. It does bring forth some fresh originality to readers that hopefully will read this story if the author corrects and revises his work and publishes it successfully. If I do see this book published with a better revision and reread it, I will give it a higher rating.
******
The Expelled
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2 out of 4 stars
Share This Review
I rate this book as 2 out of 4 stars
The story starts out with the main character on a public transportation. As he is riding, he starts off having an inner monolouge about how he is a writer and discussed to the reader about him having marriage issues with his wife named Gabrielle. This is because he did not work and instead became a writer that is soon going to be published. He later tells the reader that he hopes that his wife and him would go and have a divorce since he knew that it wasn't working out for either of them at all. As soon as he said this, he spots a young women who looks exactly like his wife but younger enter the public transport and he soon pursues her when they reach a stop.
Once he reaches up to her, they begin talking. It turns out that the young girls name is also Gabrielle and that she has a veey similar story to that of his wife. They later on have adultry and as soon as he comes home, he also suspects that his wife has a secret lover and also accuses her in a way. Which I find to be a bit hypocritical on his part. While reading this, the story has potential but I found a few issues with it that I hope the author would change in the story to make it a lot more better.
The first issue I had notice with this book was how long the sentences were in the story. Not only that, but the author seems to go off on a tangent and not stick to a traditional story writing format. His writing process is at best: hard to follow. He tends to go off topic from time to time which confused the hell out of me to where I had to reread what he wrote in the story passage. This is a huge no-no when one decides to be a writer, since it is the writers job is to make the reader fully engaged in the storyline and not to make them feel like they have to be forced into reading the story.
The second issue I had with this story, is that around the second chapter. There is not continued flow of what happened between the young Gabrielle and the main character. But instead a whole new setting and confusing plot as if the previous characters in the story was forgotten. I see no purpose of this new setting and anew story that is going on in here and that the writer should scrap this out or somehow make this merge more successfully in the previous beginning storyline.
The third issue I had with this story was the grammical errors that popped up from time to time along with the spelling. It's apparent that the authors first language was not at all, the English Language. There are times where the author would have a passage like ex "Isawherand" making it a bit difficult for me to read. I do admit the English Language is not easy to learn with all our rules of nouns, pronouns, subjects, adjectives and so on being manifested in there, but if the author wants their works in English, they have to abide by the English Language rules or have a bettee Translator to do it for him.
Conclusion, while I did give the book a bit of a poor rating, the idea behind the book is worth salvaging. It is an interesting concept to bring forth to the reader about not cheating on your spouse, even if they are the legit younger versions of themselves. It does bring forth some fresh originality to readers that hopefully will read this story if the author corrects and revises his work and publishes it successfully. If I do see this book published with a better revision and reread it, I will give it a higher rating.
******
The Expelled
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
Like nikkon's review? Post a comment saying so!
Latest Review: "My Trip to Adele" by A.I.Alyaseer, R.I.Alyaseer
