Review by blevi3 -- Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a Bad...
Posted: 24 Nov 2019, 10:36
[Following is a volunteer review of "Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a Bad Life" by Lewis Kempfer.]
Lewis Kimpfer’s memoir tells a tale of a man who has gone through so much pain and suffering in his life. From early childhood abuse, to drug and sex addiction, Lewis paints a pretty dark picture of the life he lived. But there are times in his life where he turns to religion to save himself from his addictions and his pain. While he has many failed attempts at religious redemption, he ultimately finds his way to God. This isn’t, however, a “religious” book. It isn’t at all “preachy” and you find yourself really hoping that Lewis will find a way for his faith to save him from the paths he chooses over and over.
Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Having A Bad Life could not be a more perfect title for this memoir. Lewis suffers abuse at the hands of his father early in life. His father does not love him and spends years abusing him. Then Lewis deals with 2 stepfathers over his years of growing up, both also abusive. It’s no wonder that all of his attempts at relationships fail. He has never really known love, and so he spends his entire life searching for what he believes love should look like. As we witness each of his relationships, we see him doing everything wrong. He is too needy. He is unfaithful. And he doesn’t really seem to believe that he deserves a healthy relationship.
What I liked most about this book was how Lewis took us back and forth from his adult life to his childhood. It gave me a unique understanding of why he kept making so many bad choices in his life. Since no one ever showed him he was a valuable human being, it was easy to see how he believed this and basically hated himself.
We get a front row seat as Lewis comes to understand his homosexuality at a shockingly young age. He finds himself attracted to boys, but understandably doesn’t quite know what that means. We also, shockingly, see him involved in sexual encounters with his peers at an extremely young age. It is no wonder that sex becomes an addiction for him, especially dangerous sex. And it’s sad to see him so willingly give up himself for what others want and expect of him.
There was one quote in the book which was poignant and particularly struck a chord with me; it gave me great insight into Lewis’s thought pattern. When he was describing a neighborhood kid he spent a lot of time with, he said, “I was always Robin to his Batman; it was, perhaps, the first layer of my less-than foundation.”
And then there’s his drug use and addiction. Once he uses meth, he quickly becomes addicted and can’t find his way out again. He paints a very vivid picture of what drug addiction looks like. He is always looking for a higher high. As someone who has never had an addiction, it’s hard to understand what that really looks like. But Lewis does an excellent job of giving us a first hand view of what it truly means.
I definitely found myself shocked at the situations with drugs and gay sex that Lewis described. But I also found myself pulling for Lewis to get his life together and make better choices. I felt like I could see the potential in him, even though he couldn’t, and I really wanted him to succeed. Lewis tried to pull himself out of this dangerous life several times with religion, but most of the time drugs and sex were more powerful. No matter what your belief system is, you won’t feel like he pushes any religious agenda your way. Rather, he simply shares what his faith came to mean to him.
Amazingly, Lewis is able to tell us his story with humor sprinkled throughout. It was evident he spent most of his life on a self-destructive path that could easily have ended up in his death. But since I found myself pulling for him throughout, I am glad he found a way to dig himself out.
This book is absolutely not for the faint of heart or the young reader. It deals with homosexuality, explicit sexual encounters, crude language, drug addiction, child abuse and self abuse. But if you can get past all of that, you will feel a connection to the author. And so I give this book a rating of 4 out of 4 stars. It was well edited and compelling and though some of it was hard to stomach (which is what I liked least about this book), you’ll find yourself pulling for him and want to find out how he ultimately turns his life around.
******
Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a Bad Life
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
Lewis Kimpfer’s memoir tells a tale of a man who has gone through so much pain and suffering in his life. From early childhood abuse, to drug and sex addiction, Lewis paints a pretty dark picture of the life he lived. But there are times in his life where he turns to religion to save himself from his addictions and his pain. While he has many failed attempts at religious redemption, he ultimately finds his way to God. This isn’t, however, a “religious” book. It isn’t at all “preachy” and you find yourself really hoping that Lewis will find a way for his faith to save him from the paths he chooses over and over.
Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Having A Bad Life could not be a more perfect title for this memoir. Lewis suffers abuse at the hands of his father early in life. His father does not love him and spends years abusing him. Then Lewis deals with 2 stepfathers over his years of growing up, both also abusive. It’s no wonder that all of his attempts at relationships fail. He has never really known love, and so he spends his entire life searching for what he believes love should look like. As we witness each of his relationships, we see him doing everything wrong. He is too needy. He is unfaithful. And he doesn’t really seem to believe that he deserves a healthy relationship.
What I liked most about this book was how Lewis took us back and forth from his adult life to his childhood. It gave me a unique understanding of why he kept making so many bad choices in his life. Since no one ever showed him he was a valuable human being, it was easy to see how he believed this and basically hated himself.
We get a front row seat as Lewis comes to understand his homosexuality at a shockingly young age. He finds himself attracted to boys, but understandably doesn’t quite know what that means. We also, shockingly, see him involved in sexual encounters with his peers at an extremely young age. It is no wonder that sex becomes an addiction for him, especially dangerous sex. And it’s sad to see him so willingly give up himself for what others want and expect of him.
There was one quote in the book which was poignant and particularly struck a chord with me; it gave me great insight into Lewis’s thought pattern. When he was describing a neighborhood kid he spent a lot of time with, he said, “I was always Robin to his Batman; it was, perhaps, the first layer of my less-than foundation.”
And then there’s his drug use and addiction. Once he uses meth, he quickly becomes addicted and can’t find his way out again. He paints a very vivid picture of what drug addiction looks like. He is always looking for a higher high. As someone who has never had an addiction, it’s hard to understand what that really looks like. But Lewis does an excellent job of giving us a first hand view of what it truly means.
I definitely found myself shocked at the situations with drugs and gay sex that Lewis described. But I also found myself pulling for Lewis to get his life together and make better choices. I felt like I could see the potential in him, even though he couldn’t, and I really wanted him to succeed. Lewis tried to pull himself out of this dangerous life several times with religion, but most of the time drugs and sex were more powerful. No matter what your belief system is, you won’t feel like he pushes any religious agenda your way. Rather, he simply shares what his faith came to mean to him.
Amazingly, Lewis is able to tell us his story with humor sprinkled throughout. It was evident he spent most of his life on a self-destructive path that could easily have ended up in his death. But since I found myself pulling for him throughout, I am glad he found a way to dig himself out.
This book is absolutely not for the faint of heart or the young reader. It deals with homosexuality, explicit sexual encounters, crude language, drug addiction, child abuse and self abuse. But if you can get past all of that, you will feel a connection to the author. And so I give this book a rating of 4 out of 4 stars. It was well edited and compelling and though some of it was hard to stomach (which is what I liked least about this book), you’ll find yourself pulling for him and want to find out how he ultimately turns his life around.
******
Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a Bad Life
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes