Review of Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid
Posted: 22 Mar 2024, 08:38
[Following is a volunteer review of "Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid" by Dr. Rachel Sims.]
Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid by Dr. Rachel Sims
This book is an extensive guide to dating, relationships, and marriage. The author presents a collection of myths about love and marriage that have been imbibed within us for years and then debunks them.
Every chapter has an interesting heading, and the little drawing behind the heading is cute. The book starts with dating and travels towards marriage. The author delivers her message with interesting little real-life stories. I found many fascinating and funny quotes all over the book, which I enjoyed a lot.
“Love is a lot like a toothache, it doesn’t show up
on x-rays, but you know it’s there.”
– George Burns
“Love is like taking a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.”
– Anonymous
Many of her notions were very intriguing. In the beginning, the author declares that love shouldn't be celebrated once a year but should be a daily event. She also states that we constantly learn from birth, and our environment decides our character and how we take on love. She emphasizes the importance of self-love throughout the book. She also cautions us against expecting perfection in our lives. This hurts not only our romantic lives but also other aspects of life. She disproves the myth that there is a perfect match—the notion imprinted in our hearts from watching romantic films. Her comparison of finding a date to buying a first car on a budget made me smile. She advises us against playing cat-and-mouse games while dating. If we like someone, we should be upfront and confident and not play the waiting game.
I appreciate her views on the term 'opposites attract'. It is a misinterpreted term that is widely used. She clarifies that we might be different from our mates, but there is an attraction because of our core similarities.
Another problem we face while dating and in relationships is the advice we get from family and friends. The author's take on tackling advice from friends and family while establishing personal boundaries provides a solution.
She asserts that trust is the basis for a healthy relationship. To maintain that, setting some rules and communicating are very important. Her views about arguments in a relationship are so valid. I was intrigued by the "good enough" theory and the "win-win situation." That little anecdote about Walter's speech moved my heart. I relished reading the takeaway that is presented after each myth.
She gives many valuable pieces of advice to the couples. She orders us to see each other as enhancements, not replacements. Many people might want to spend every moment with their partners after getting into a relationship. She sternly remarks that this is unhealthy, and one must also have friends, family, and personal time.
I loved the definition the author provides for marriage. She says marriage is not about making each other happy but about adding to one's happiness. One shouldn't try to change each other and should learn to live in a new way as one unit. She also adds that love is a place to be vulnerable and supported. Love will never hurt us or make us fight constantly, and there is no place for fear in love. She urges us to seek help from a therapist or a friend if we ever feel like that in a relationship.
My perception is that this book will help the couple when both are trying to fix their relationship. If it is just one of them trying or the issue is more complex, the book suggests seeking help from a therapist.
I noticed only one error. Other than that, the editing of the book is exceptional. The content seems repetitive at times. But that is just a minor issue. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and gained valuable insights regarding my married life. It is very refreshing to see all the myths busted. So my rating is 5 out of 5. I recommend this book to all readers stepping on or already into the dating, relationships, and marriage world.
******
Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid by Dr. Rachel Sims
This book is an extensive guide to dating, relationships, and marriage. The author presents a collection of myths about love and marriage that have been imbibed within us for years and then debunks them.
Every chapter has an interesting heading, and the little drawing behind the heading is cute. The book starts with dating and travels towards marriage. The author delivers her message with interesting little real-life stories. I found many fascinating and funny quotes all over the book, which I enjoyed a lot.
“Love is a lot like a toothache, it doesn’t show up
on x-rays, but you know it’s there.”
– George Burns
“Love is like taking a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.”
– Anonymous
Many of her notions were very intriguing. In the beginning, the author declares that love shouldn't be celebrated once a year but should be a daily event. She also states that we constantly learn from birth, and our environment decides our character and how we take on love. She emphasizes the importance of self-love throughout the book. She also cautions us against expecting perfection in our lives. This hurts not only our romantic lives but also other aspects of life. She disproves the myth that there is a perfect match—the notion imprinted in our hearts from watching romantic films. Her comparison of finding a date to buying a first car on a budget made me smile. She advises us against playing cat-and-mouse games while dating. If we like someone, we should be upfront and confident and not play the waiting game.
I appreciate her views on the term 'opposites attract'. It is a misinterpreted term that is widely used. She clarifies that we might be different from our mates, but there is an attraction because of our core similarities.
Another problem we face while dating and in relationships is the advice we get from family and friends. The author's take on tackling advice from friends and family while establishing personal boundaries provides a solution.
She asserts that trust is the basis for a healthy relationship. To maintain that, setting some rules and communicating are very important. Her views about arguments in a relationship are so valid. I was intrigued by the "good enough" theory and the "win-win situation." That little anecdote about Walter's speech moved my heart. I relished reading the takeaway that is presented after each myth.
She gives many valuable pieces of advice to the couples. She orders us to see each other as enhancements, not replacements. Many people might want to spend every moment with their partners after getting into a relationship. She sternly remarks that this is unhealthy, and one must also have friends, family, and personal time.
I loved the definition the author provides for marriage. She says marriage is not about making each other happy but about adding to one's happiness. One shouldn't try to change each other and should learn to live in a new way as one unit. She also adds that love is a place to be vulnerable and supported. Love will never hurt us or make us fight constantly, and there is no place for fear in love. She urges us to seek help from a therapist or a friend if we ever feel like that in a relationship.
My perception is that this book will help the couple when both are trying to fix their relationship. If it is just one of them trying or the issue is more complex, the book suggests seeking help from a therapist.
I noticed only one error. Other than that, the editing of the book is exceptional. The content seems repetitive at times. But that is just a minor issue. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and gained valuable insights regarding my married life. It is very refreshing to see all the myths busted. So my rating is 5 out of 5. I recommend this book to all readers stepping on or already into the dating, relationships, and marriage world.
******
Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
