Review of Jewelry Heist

[Seetha E]

[Following is a volunteer review of "Jewelry Heist" by Kathleen Heart Smith.]

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1 out of 5 stars

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Margaret Black is the main protagonist of this short story. She comes from a large family. Her father is an immigrant from Italy. Being the prettiest among the girls in the family, they all hope she will marry a wealthy man and live a comfortable life. However, the reality was different.

The book opens with Margaret employed as a head sales clerk at The Derillo's Diamond Store. Her husband, Choppy, works very hard at the chocolate factory. The couple has two kids, Morgan and Millie. Despite their current situation, Margaret never gives up on her dream of becoming wealthy. The book invites the reader to follow up on how things turn out for Margaret and her family after Choppy succumbs to a heart attack.

With just a sentence for description, I trusted the title and the intriguing cover while picking up this book. Politely speaking, this book best qualifies as a first draft, a 'rough' first draft. There were several broken, non-contextual sentences. Spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors were plenty. The single sentences often lacked context. This made it difficult to follow the story. I barely managed to get a hang of the characters, their motivations, and the overall plot. Just then, to make matters worse, I encountered the story taking off on a tangent, making me think I missed a few pages in between. The story presented Morgan and Brandon as a couple. But suddenly, on page 26, Brandon proposes marriage to Millie. 3 pages later, on page 29, the story had Mr. Derillo blessing Morgan and Brandon with a wedding gift. Similarly, page 34 of the PDF I accessed had Dorothy addressed as Millie’s mother. I had to ensure I understood the plot and the characters right, and the only way to do that was to read certain sections all over again. All of these aspects left me with an unpleasant reading experience.

That said, there is hope. If the author is willing to consider this as a rough first draft, the plot has immense potential. With an appropriate backstory, improvements in the motivating factors, and well-developed characters, this can be turned into a gripping thriller. Additionally, the author should consider simple, clear, error-free sentences.

The climax is the only thing that I liked about the book. Considering the errors, confusing single-sentence dialogues, underdeveloped characters, and plot, I am forced to rate Jewelry Heist by Kathleen Heart Smith 1 out of 5 stars. The 1 star is for the potential the plot holds. I cannot recommend this book to anyone given its current state of disarray on multiple counts. I hope the author does not give up on the basic plot, adds the meat, and develops it into a compelling thriller. The sexual content does not go beyond a kiss. The PDF format I was given for this review does not contain any borderline or non-borderline profanity. I cannot confirm the same for the other versions.

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Jewelry Heist
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[Elavarasi Charles]

Seeing that the plot has potential with a well-planned climax, the book could consume some more time with writing style and character development. One thing that puts me down is not being able to follow the dialogues and I can feel your pain trying to still give the book a chance while encountering so many letdowns. Honestly, the authors can mention explicitly if it's only a rough draft and that they're looking for beta readers. It might help the readers to lower their expectations while selecting the book. Thank you for such an honest review!

[Priya Murugesan]

I thought of picking up the book, but dropped it after reading the sample. I couldn't follow the book. Your review also pinpoints the same. Thanks for your detailed review. Hope it helps the author.