Review of The Unfakeable Code®
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Review of The Unfakeable Code®
[Following is a volunteer review of "The Unfakeable Code®" by Tony Jeton Selimi.]
Somewhere between trying to be everything for everyone and forgetting who we are in the process, people-pleasing creeps in. The Unfakeable Code® doesn’t just call that out — it dissects it. Not harshly, but with this steady, focused clarity that feels impossible to ignore. Tony Jeton Selimi has a way of peeling back the layers we’ve built to stay likable, acceptable, impressive — and revealing the hollowness that can live underneath. I think the section that hit me hardest was where he framed people-pleasing as a slow kind of self-erasure. You don’t even notice it at first. A small “yes” when you mean “no,” a half-truth to avoid friction, a smile that isn’t yours. And then one day you look up, and the person who used to live in your skin has gone quiet. That realization doesn’t feel comfortable, but Tony doesn’t let you stay there. He redirects the energy into something much more freeing — forgiveness.
Forgiveness in this book isn’t some tidy concept. It’s not about being the “bigger person” or releasing others to keep the peace. It’s messy, deeply personal, and, in many ways, more about liberating yourself than anyone else. What I appreciated was how often Tony emphasized self-forgiveness — which, in my experience, is the hardest kind. It’s easier to let others off the hook than it is to stop punishing yourself for being human. Whether it was a broken relationship, a business failure, or a personal betrayal, he framed forgiveness as an act of reclaiming your power. Not letting go in the sense of forgetting, but letting go of the emotional leash that keeps you tethered to the past.
And while we’re on the subject of power, I have to say I really liked how the book treats the integration of the dark and light sides of the self. There’s no moral hierarchy. No good versus evil. Just truth. I remember thinking, “Finally, someone who doesn’t reduce our complexity to a cliché.” Tony speaks about embracing your shadow — the envy, the fear, the ambition, the selfishness — with the same reverence he gives to your love and compassion. And that, in my opinion, is what makes this book land so deeply. It respects the entire human experience.
If I had one slight disappointment, it’s that I wished for more real-world examples of what dark side integration actually looks like day-to-day. The concept is powerful, and I fully grasped it, but I think for some readers, seeing how someone embodies it in everyday scenarios — a tough conversation, a leadership decision, a boundary being set — would bring the idea down from the clouds. It's not a flaw that broke the message, just something that could make it even richer.
Still, The Unfakeable Code® left me thinking about how many times I’ve compromised pieces of myself just to stay in someone’s good graces. And how long I carried guilt for decisions I made from fear, not clarity. Reading this felt like being handed the tools to finally stop apologizing for being multidimensional. I closed the book feeling lighter, not because my problems disappeared, but because I no longer felt like I had to disappear with them. It’s a full 5 out of 5 stars from me — not for perfection, but for depth, honesty, and the rare ability to push and hold space at the same time.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
Somewhere between trying to be everything for everyone and forgetting who we are in the process, people-pleasing creeps in. The Unfakeable Code® doesn’t just call that out — it dissects it. Not harshly, but with this steady, focused clarity that feels impossible to ignore. Tony Jeton Selimi has a way of peeling back the layers we’ve built to stay likable, acceptable, impressive — and revealing the hollowness that can live underneath. I think the section that hit me hardest was where he framed people-pleasing as a slow kind of self-erasure. You don’t even notice it at first. A small “yes” when you mean “no,” a half-truth to avoid friction, a smile that isn’t yours. And then one day you look up, and the person who used to live in your skin has gone quiet. That realization doesn’t feel comfortable, but Tony doesn’t let you stay there. He redirects the energy into something much more freeing — forgiveness.
Forgiveness in this book isn’t some tidy concept. It’s not about being the “bigger person” or releasing others to keep the peace. It’s messy, deeply personal, and, in many ways, more about liberating yourself than anyone else. What I appreciated was how often Tony emphasized self-forgiveness — which, in my experience, is the hardest kind. It’s easier to let others off the hook than it is to stop punishing yourself for being human. Whether it was a broken relationship, a business failure, or a personal betrayal, he framed forgiveness as an act of reclaiming your power. Not letting go in the sense of forgetting, but letting go of the emotional leash that keeps you tethered to the past.
And while we’re on the subject of power, I have to say I really liked how the book treats the integration of the dark and light sides of the self. There’s no moral hierarchy. No good versus evil. Just truth. I remember thinking, “Finally, someone who doesn’t reduce our complexity to a cliché.” Tony speaks about embracing your shadow — the envy, the fear, the ambition, the selfishness — with the same reverence he gives to your love and compassion. And that, in my opinion, is what makes this book land so deeply. It respects the entire human experience.
If I had one slight disappointment, it’s that I wished for more real-world examples of what dark side integration actually looks like day-to-day. The concept is powerful, and I fully grasped it, but I think for some readers, seeing how someone embodies it in everyday scenarios — a tough conversation, a leadership decision, a boundary being set — would bring the idea down from the clouds. It's not a flaw that broke the message, just something that could make it even richer.
Still, The Unfakeable Code® left me thinking about how many times I’ve compromised pieces of myself just to stay in someone’s good graces. And how long I carried guilt for decisions I made from fear, not clarity. Reading this felt like being handed the tools to finally stop apologizing for being multidimensional. I closed the book feeling lighter, not because my problems disappeared, but because I no longer felt like I had to disappear with them. It’s a full 5 out of 5 stars from me — not for perfection, but for depth, honesty, and the rare ability to push and hold space at the same time.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
