OnlineBookClub.org

Alex was a foster child and has had two upsetting foster family experiences. How do you think this has shaped him to be the person he has become now that he is an adult? Do you think this common for those who were/are foster children? Why/Why not?

Not being a foster child myself, I'm not sure I can really speculate too much on this. However, I do believe that our experiences shape who we are. That's not to say that we can't rise above those circumstances and experiences. I do believe that these shaped Alex and maybe even caused some of his behaviors.

I agree that our early childhood experiences shape how we perceive the world whether it is deemed to be a trusting or mistrusting place. For foster children unlike myself, knowing that you are a foster child can bring up a range of emotions such as not feeling loved or wondering why you were given up.

I think that there are a lot of foster children who experience being adopted and then sent back because the person changed their mind. I would also like to mention that Alex's foster mother was one of the nicest ones I ever read about. A lot of children aren't fortunate enough to have great foster parents.

I think that foster children are not that much different from children who live with their biological parents. None of us choose our birth parents. I think that Alex might have been negatively affected by the foster parents that took him in but he had the lady who ran the foster care centre so he was better off than someone stuck with bad parents.

kandscreeley wrote:Not being a foster child myself, I'm not sure I can really speculate too much on this. However, I do believe that our experiences shape who we are. That's not to say that we can't rise above those circumstances and experiences. I do believe that these shaped Alex and maybe even caused some of his behaviors.

I agree with you about being able to rise above our experiences. Its not only foster children that have sad or traumatic upbringings. "Normal" families also have abuse, narcs and rejection. We all have something that happened at some point that was traumatic to us. You either become a victim or a survivor

A person's personality is taken from both nature and nurture. His adult personality is influenced by his experience when he was a child

-- 04 Jun 2017, 23:22 --

kandscreeley wrote:Not being a foster child myself, I'm not sure I can really speculate too much on this. However, I do believe that our experiences shape who we are. That's not to say that we can't rise above those circumstances and experiences. I do believe that these shaped Alex and maybe even caused some of his behaviors.

I agree. I just realized this time that this story that we are discussing is not just limited to being a sci-fi fantasy story. It also touches the issues in the field of psychology.

-- 04 Jun 2017, 23:25 --

One good thing about Alex Fine's experience with the two families is that his encounter with them was not at all tragic. There were instances when he enjoyed staying with them because in a short while he experienced having a good father and a good mother.

Jaime Lync wrote:I think that foster children are not that much different from children who live with their biological parents. None of us choose our birth parents. I think that Alex might have been negatively affected by the foster parents that took him in but he had the lady who ran the foster care centre so he was better off than someone stuck with bad parents.

Foster children often have issues with forming attachments to people, even when fostered from birth. Many people who are adopted later on also have issues with this. That's not typical with kids who live with their bio parents, unless they have an underlying neurological disorder.

Our childhood experiences can affect the way we look at life. Nevertheless, at some point in our adult lives, we all need to accept that we are responsible for our own actions. Many choose to live their lives blaming their parents or their past. Others, in spite of troubles and hardships, see these as a motivation to thrive, succeed and overcome. Being a foster child can influence your life and attitudes but it does not have to determine them.

I am not a foster child, but foster kids indeed have a lasting impression of their experiences. Childhood is formative for any individual, and the people who shape personalities are the adults around them.

Its hard to describe ... In some cases , affects shape them to be a strong person with a bright future .. In the worst scenario , I could break their soul & existence in a miserable manner

To start with, a foster child who undergoes similar experiences as Alex will undergo identity crisis and will have no sense of belonging. This child might also become a bully for self protection and to domineer over others as was experienced in the foster home.

The foster care system, especially in the United States, is incredibly broken. Abuse towards the child is easy surprisingly, and because of that, a lot of times, people who have been through the foster care system do have emotional problems, do have trouble trusting other people. This isn't to label everyone that way, but from what I've seen, it is a broken system and we have to fix it. But if the children going through it have a strong sense of identity and resilience, who knows?

The issue here is that,from the time of birth up to the age of 12 years, every child is made to learn by default that is the mind's camera is as spontaneously alert to the pros and cons of those around therefore, making it incumbent to be the lone source of information or better still the core inspiration of the child. This simply put is just to say the fact this child is a foster child, in his innocence, He or she will be molded in the mold of the attitude of the foster environment as a direct replica of the pros and cons perpetrated by the foster family and those around that is to say in conclusion, the child becomes the direct carbon print of the foster environment.

There is a difference between growing up in your own family and growing up as a foster child. As we know, children are the most precious beings for the parents. Especially if they are their own children. Hence a person growing up with their own parents tend to develop personalities based on the experience that they have with the family. Very rarely does one experience abuse or other negative experiences from one's own family.

On the other hand, a foster family can be very caring at times while equally torturing in other cases. It solely depends on the organization who are responsible for choosing the foster families. After all, the individuals in the foster family also help in the development of personalities which may turn out to be good or bad. The major concern in the foster family is the love and care that the foster child can get. When your fate depends on others, how can you predict your future?