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Arrigo_Lupori wrote: ↑20 Feb 2018, 09:23 What you said here is amazing, indecision is indeed stagnant. It serves few purposes other than frustrating the hell out of someone. If one takes a decision, it may well be a bad one, but at least one would know.

Exactly. If it's the wrong decision, you know what doesn't work! Thanks for the comment.

I would agree - the one where I limit my own abilities. I have to buy into the myth that my weaknesses are my weaknesses. If I tackle something anyway because I don't believe the myths, then I can conquer it. It's like you have to agree that the line or limitation is where it is...otherwise it's not there. And not buying into the myth is the first step to tackling it! It's been lifechanging when I remember that I believe this and go full-steam ahead!

I feel like I've definitely seen the effects of defining my own limitations. In high school I believed I was bad at math and quickly gave up trying to improve, because I thought it was hopeless. I was just bad at math and that was it. In college I gave up pursuing theater because I thought that no matter how much I loved it, I would never be talented enough to land great roles. I'm working through this myth in my own life now, because I'm starting to really get into fitness, when I've always just told myself I wasn't a naturally athletic person and that was that. I'm finding my joy in things that I'm not good at and seeing how removing my own mental limitations really enables me to succeed.

Mekkinism wrote: ↑20 Feb 2018, 21:18 I feel like I've definitely seen the effects of defining my own limitations. In high school I believed I was bad at math and quickly gave up trying to improve, because I thought it was hopeless. I was just bad at math and that was it. In college I gave up pursuing theater because I thought that no matter how much I loved it, I would never be talented enough to land great roles. I'm working through this myth in my own life now, because I'm starting to really get into fitness, when I've always just told myself I wasn't a naturally athletic person and that was that. I'm finding my joy in things that I'm not good at and seeing how removing my own mental limitations really enables me to succeed.

You took my comment right out of my mouth! The exact example I was thinking of was being bad at math. All through school I took the easier math courses or avoided the advanced science classes that involved a lot of math, like chemistry... even though I was good at science! I think a lot of us tend to label or pigeonhole ourselves, and those limits aren't healthy. There has to be a balance between emphasizing your strengths but also not holding yourself back due to perceived weaknesses.

I'm not going to become an accountant any time soon, but I learned I can handle a lot of the finance stuff at work just fine. Glad you're working through your own myths about yourself, you should be proud!

Haute_Coffee wrote: ↑21 Feb 2018, 13:02

Mekkinism wrote: ↑20 Feb 2018, 21:18 I feel like I've definitely seen the effects of defining my own limitations. In high school I believed I was bad at math and quickly gave up trying to improve, because I thought it was hopeless. I was just bad at math and that was it. In college I gave up pursuing theater because I thought that no matter how much I loved it, I would never be talented enough to land great roles. I'm working through this myth in my own life now, because I'm starting to really get into fitness, when I've always just told myself I wasn't a naturally athletic person and that was that. I'm finding my joy in things that I'm not good at and seeing how removing my own mental limitations really enables me to succeed.

You took my comment right out of my mouth! The exact example I was thinking of was being bad at math. All through school I took the easier math courses or avoided the advanced science classes that involved a lot of math, like chemistry... even though I was good at science! I think a lot of us tend to label or pigeonhole ourselves, and those limits aren't healthy. There has to be a balance between emphasizing your strengths but also not holding yourself back due to perceived weaknesses.

I'm not going to become an accountant any time soon, but I learned I can handle a lot of the finance stuff at work just fine. Glad you're working through your own myths about yourself, you should be proud!

Thank you! You too! I think some of it has to do with the way that I was praised when I was younger. I'm part of that generation that was complimented for being smart, as opposed to working hard. There's evidence to suggest that kids who are rewarded for intelligence and opposed to diligence tend to give up easier when faced with things they are not immediately good at. They tell themselves that they just don't have that talent. Kids who are complimented for how hard they worked or how much they improved seem to perform much better in the face of obstacles.

Hildah Mose wrote: ↑07 Jan 2018, 03:18 For me, this myth "Learn to fit in; play it safe— it’s right and proper."is the one that has limited my abilities. Trying to live up to the expectations of my family and our community.

As a woman raised in the American Midwest in the 20th Century, this myth was the one constantly reinforced by authorities. Thankfully, the people coming of age in this time don't have that myth being drummed into them.

As a couple others have mentioned, for me it was definitely about personal limits and abilities. I think it was almost as if I was fearful of failure and set myself certain boundaries beyond which I naturally assumed I would fail.

N_R wrote: ↑06 Jan 2018, 18:02 I think that the myth that I had was about the personal limits and abilities. The idea that you set your own limits and that you create a glass ceiling effect for yourself.

This myth still cages me. Often I'm told doing things this way is better and healthier. And I reply that I know but what they are requiring from me is too much and too difficult for me, so I can't do it even if it will help me. I say to them and myself that I am different from them and that I have to work within my limits.
And Then I Met Margaret encourages me to try and break the hold this myth has on me.

The myth that some limits cannot be changed. I have come to realize that I am much stronger and confident that I thought myself to be. I used to shy away when someone so much as looked at me and was afraid to walk straight in fear that I could attract someone bad to me. But, that was a phase, and now I know I had set the wrong limits for myself. I am so much more strong and confident now and truly believe in myself and everything beautiful that life has to offer me

I believe my weakness is to impress others. I care too much about what other people think and that can be limiting. Some of the most successful people in history did things that society did not always approve of. Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., and Einstein are examples that applause should never be strived for. It is doing what you think is right.

For me its "I get trapped into doing the things I don't want to do". We live a world of cause and effect, there will always be a reason or instigator for the actions we take, but the reality is that we are responsible for our fate by our thoughts, actions and the decisions we make. Our limiting beliefs are what create the traps that hold us back in life. The role other people play is only to provide us with the justification we need to remain stuck in the same pattern.

The myth that I tend to believe is that If you must choose between indecision and perhaps making a wrong decision—it’s right to choose indecision. I struggle making decisions. I agonize over them to the point of getting physically ill. But I am learning that sometimes you just have to make a decision and let it guide you. That is what makes life so much fun.

N_R wrote: ↑06 Jan 2018, 18:02 I think that the myth that I had was about the personal limits and abilities. The idea that you set your own limits and that you create a glass ceiling effect for yourself.

I agree with everything you say.

A few of them I found useful to practise in my life. One of them was the story with Uncle Fred which shows how extreme obsession with the negative things in life can have harmful effects. Although I did not like the stories with 3 million dollar shake up and running with bulls, I found the theme of both stories that is one should not let the disastrous situations change their behaviour quite useful. Acting distressed is indeed optional, though sometimes very hard to avoid. I liked the one with Mr Lampkin urging us to pay attention and do the best we can. Sometimes, I find people judging others all too often or showing undue interests in others' lives. In those cases, the story with the British co-passenger should be kept in mind. We just have to look beyond! The last story where Peter lived simply because he chose not to die was the most inspiring story and I think we should all inculcate a positive mindset like him.

The idea about setting yourself limits and not being able to go past these. It reminded me of the book called black box thinking and the psychological idea of having a growth mindset