Do the women represent the specific types of friend each woman should have?
- Lest92
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Re: Do the women represent the specific types of friend each woman should have?
CommMayo wrote: ↑11 Feb 2018, 22:26That is so very true! I find it is hard to make friends outside of "work friends," especially if you move as an adult. I mostly became friends with people already acquainted with my husband. It is hard to carve out time to work on personal relationships when careers and life seem to constantly be putting up road barriers.Lest92 wrote: ↑10 Feb 2018, 14:28 I have acquaintances, but no real friends, though I think that having these archetypal friends around might be good for me. Nevertheless, one is lucky if one finds new friends in adulthood, since everyone starts getting set in their ways and more focused on their husbands, careers, and kids at this stage. Friendship like this kind seems to become an afterthought, if at all.
Perhaps this books helps to remind us to work on fostering those friendships even if we feel like we don't have the time for it.
I agree - we shouldn't let work get in the way of maintaining closeness with other people, or let the friendship fade when there's a job change.
- Jeyasivananth
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- CommMayo
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Do you think this technique worked for you? Were you able to relate to or see one of your close friends in the characters the author created? This this add to your enjoyment of the book or help you draw any conclusions about your own relationships with friends?Jeyasivananth wrote: ↑12 Feb 2018, 16:15 Well it cannot be denied that the author has consciously chosen women of different personality types and weaved a friendship between them . Maybe because artistically she felt the all women may be able to relate to the central characters in the book. However i wouldn't say that each woman SHOULD have these types of women in their live.
(I love your profile picture, BTW)
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Making new friends as an adult is SO hard!!! That is the one benefit of getting involved in new activities (such as fly fishing)--it is a way to meet new people and make new friends. For example, I had friends ( a couple) who moved to a new city for the man's job. They joined a kickball league there just as a way to meet people. Their kickball teammates are now their closest friends in the area. All of the people on the team were others who were new to the area and trying to make friends. If they hadn't joined that league, none of them would have ever met. So if you are feeling a bit bored and would like to try to make new friends, those sorts of clubs and groups are one of the best ways! It's difficult at first to try something new outside of your comfort zone but in this case it will hopefully pay off.Lest92 wrote: ↑10 Feb 2018, 14:28 I have acquaintances, but no real friends, though I think that having these archetypal friends around might be good for me. Nevertheless, one is lucky if one finds new friends in adulthood, since everyone starts getting set in their ways and more focused on their husbands, careers, and kids at this stage. Friendship like this kind seems to become an afterthought, if at all.
- CommMayo
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I 100% agree with you on this! Moving to a new area as an adult is so tough. I really admire the people who are able to get themselves out there and meet new people right after getting to a new area. I've met a few people who are able to that, usually through a church group or hobby group.RebeccasReading wrote: ↑14 Feb 2018, 08:42 Making new friends as an adult is SO hard!!! That is the one benefit of getting involved in new activities (such as fly fishing)--it is a way to meet new people and make new friends. For example, I had friends ( a couple) who moved to a new city for the man's job. They joined a kickball league there just as a way to meet people. Their kickball teammates are now their closest friends in the area. All of the people on the team were others who were new to the area and trying to make friends. If they hadn't joined that league, none of them would have ever met. So if you are feeling a bit bored and would like to try to make new friends, those sorts of clubs and groups are one of the best ways! It's difficult at first to try something new outside of your comfort zone but in this case it will hopefully pay off.
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I agree with you that most women become friends with other women due to shared circumstance, whether it be sharing classes growing up, or frequenting the same hangouts as adults.bookowlie wrote: ↑05 Feb 2018, 12:51 CommMayo - Although it would be nice for women to have friends who are a range of personality types, I don't think this happens too often. Women often become friends with other women due to shared circumstances - working in the same company, neighbors, shared hobbies such as a monthly book club, their kids play together, their husbands are friends, etc. I don't necessarily think women seek out certain personality traits, although offensive traits would likely cause them to not become friends with certain people.
R-g-R - interesting analysis! I also thought the characters were too pigeon-holed. For example, Veronica is the successful career gal who is always cheerful, calm, and collected. Even during the horrible plane turbulence, she was busy helped a fellow passenger and never got unglued. I thought her character was a bit contrived and perfect - perfect job, perfect apartment, perfect husband. Amanda is a stereotype of the young military wife and mother who feels lonely and stressed out while her husband is away on deployment. It's true that the characters didn't get together regularly. That actually seemed realistic since some of the women didn't leave near each other or two of them had busy jobs.
I will say, though, that nowadays it is easier to specifically look for particular traits and interests in possible friends and companions.
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Friendships are very organic in nature. Sometimes trying to hard to achieve a particular goal can cloud you from seeing other opportunities for friendships. But I also think it is important that people don't simply surround themselves with friends that create a total echo chamber. After all, it is our differences that make us great.Rosemary Okoko wrote: ↑25 Feb 2018, 07:39 People have different characters and it would be impossible to have a particular type of friends. However much we try to have a certain type of friends, they'll turn out to be different types.
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I don't think it's something women intentionally seek. I think that for many of us, it's just something that happens naturally during the course of life.R-g-R wrote: ↑05 Feb 2018, 07:41 Interesting!
The concept that perhaps women ‘should’ have specific friends covering all different types.
Perhaps it could be argued that the types in the book are too forced? That not all such women as these would actually be keen to engage in fly fishing?
And how to classify them? The businesswomen and single mum - check, plus the motherly career/nurturer - check, probably the sporty one is covered too as well as the arty/crafty one, the good listener, etc. Doesn’t this risk sounding like it’s heading into teenage female fiction, or even younger - tween groups of girlfriends?
Or, if the book is representative of the different types of friends every woman ‘should’ have, does that then suggest that women generally may not be able to enjoy all these types of friendships day-to-day? We see the Reel Sisters only getting together sporadically, rather than regularly. If they are held up as the desirable ideal, then perhaps all friendship groups with different types and different patterns of gathering are doomed?! :-O
What do others think?
- CommMayo
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I agree with you. As I've transitioned into my mid-thirties, I've noticed that I am naturally becoming friends with a broader group of people.CatInTheHat wrote: ↑26 Feb 2018, 09:42 I don't think it's something women intentionally seek. I think that for many of us, it's just something that happens naturally during the course of life.