Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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The author did a fantastic job by showing how abuse can affect different people. I believe it really depends on the individual person's perspective and personality. Natalie falling for an older man because she never really had a good father figure. Her sibling wetting the bed and the other craving attention by acting out all show dysfunction .
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I certainly think that the author has depicted realistic behavior of children who have experienced abuse. I think it can come down to personality types. Introverted children are more likely to exhibit passive forms of behavior like bed-wetting, but extroverted children are more likely to act out violently like Shirley.
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I have never been in a situation so can't say how accurate this is, but, listening to people around I do believe different people react differently. And its effect can be even worse.
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Tbunde5 wrote: ↑01 Apr 2018, 21:55
While Natalie is the central figure of the book, I found it fascinating to see the interactions of all the children. Robyn, who wets the bed; Shirley, who has a vicious mean streak; and Natalie, trying to hold them all together. Do you think the author gives an honest portrayal of the effects of abuse in children?
I think it is interesting that the author did show different ways that children are effected. Even just witnessing abuse can cause a negative effect on someone. Just being in that same environment is abuse to anyone who has to live through it. I don't know how honest or accurate it is, but I'm sure it is truth for some who have experienced similar situations.
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I think anyone who has not experienced abuse will have their eyes opened to the varied responses to abuse. Too often, I think people are quick to judge those in the situation instead of empathizing. It’s easy to say, “Why didn’t they...” or “Why did they...” when it’s not happening to you.
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Yes, often what you see is one sibling taking the role of protector of the weaker ones. Having a brother to share my harsh teenage years really helped me, so I'm really happy that they had one another to lean on through the abuse.
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Abuse can affect children indirectly; even those who live in the vicinity of where the abuse is occurring. If an older sibling or relative is the one being abused, it can lead to anxiety and fear in the hearts and minds of the younger children in the home...or even the kids next door.
There can be a silencing effect in children close to abuse in their early years of development. It affects their ability to assess the world and can scar their views towards all adults. Sometimes the wounds left by early childhood trauma caused by abuse take years to heal, IF....they ever heal.
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Yes, and much more! Abuse harms in so many ways. Psychological, emotional, and physical results can occur from the experience of abuse. There are numerous cases where, especially boys, become abusers themselves. Children have resulted to cutting themselves to control the pain that they feel. Psychological disorders of transference occur. This is when the child is not able to take their frustration out on the abuser, but will find someone else to abuse. Unhealthy relationship often happens. It is not uncommon for children of abuse to develop promiscuous sexual behaviors. Even if the child has only witness their mom's abuse, some girls end up in abusive relationships as well. For some reason, they attract the same type of abusive characteristic that their father had. Sometimes it becomes a vicious cycle. The scars that abuse leaves on a children are horrendous.
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Children are very impressionable. The abuse inflicted on them may cause them to wet their bed, some may develop some phobia. I have known a little girl who always witnessed the mistreatment done by her father to her mother. She detested all men after that, and become a lesbian later. Or a son rebelling on his mother's adulterous tendencies may be driven to homosexuality. This is not to say that these reactions are surefire stimuli for children to become railroaded into these perverted states, but many cases really occurred to make these as statistical probabilities.
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Child abuse is a real problem for our society. We are all held responsible in some way as they can grow into adults with potential problems that affect society as a whole. Although the topic is traumatic it is important that we are all made aware of the potential consequences.
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Yes, I do think that the author gives an honest portrayal of the effects of abuse in children because the effects are real and can and will effect everyone involved, which can cause a great impact on an entire family household of siblings and children.
"And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life". (Revelation 20:12 (NKJV)
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As I haven't read the book yet I can only comment on the emotional effects of abuse on children.
A child's emotional development during these tender years is undoubtedly crucial for adulthood. Numerous studies and schools of thought have been dedicated to it. The five stages of emotional growth is specifically situated at childhood because of this. Simply put it is the foundations of a person's level of maturity during adulthood.
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In India, the depressed child, the one who is lost from everything has the only thing left i.e. suicide.People keep sayin' him that you are a loser,failure,can't achieve anything from life and he accepts people's opinions and makes opinion according to them that he is really a loser and can't do anything and he have no way left but suicide.
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I agree with many previous comments. There is not a specific way that you can pinpoint abuse in children. I think much of a child's behavior has to do with the extent of the abuse and the type.
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Every child handles abuse differently and has a different take-away, so I think Linnane was spot on in describing different behavior. Some kids internalize anger, others force it on people. Some kids physicalize their pain, like with bed-wetting or psychosomatic stomach pains, while others inflict pain on themselves because that's how they've been taught to treat their bodies. All of the reactions in the book are believable and grounded in reality.