Is Natalie's protection of her mother a reversal of roles? Does it happen often nowadays? Any personal experiences?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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Mercelle
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Re: Is Natalie's protection of her mother a reversal of roles? Does it happen often nowadays? Any personal experiences?

Post by Mercelle »

It's a reversal of roles, but I applaud Natalie for not accepting abuse as a regular occurrence. Deep in her heart, she knew that it was wrong and made an effort to protect her mother, who seemed to be flowing with the status quo.
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Post by elivia05 »

I definitely feel the reversal of parenting roles in this story. I work for an attorney and I see these situations on a daily basis. It is sad, but it is a prominent event in today's society.
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Post by Zain A Blade »

I read in some psychology book that reversal of roles happens a lot in dysfunctional families and, in fact, it is the number cause of incest in a family. It is said that when the mother fails to fulfil her role and matrimonial duties in the home, the young girl unconscious feels obliged to step in and fulfil her mother's role in order to keep the family together, even if it means sleeping with her own father. It sounds sick, right? But that's human psychology for you.
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Post by AWANDO OGUTU »

The safety of the parents should be a child's concern. I don't think is unusual for Natalie to protect her mum.
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Post by LarissaRunamuck »

Often the child grows up to not only regret the parent for not being the parent they wanted (loving them the way they feel they should have been loved) but also regretting themselves and doubting their abilities. When they become an adult, they feel anger at the fact that they never really learned how to do it "right" and frequently doubt themselves.
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Post by Star88 »

Definitely. I agree it's because of the emotional trauma she had to face
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Post by Maksiub1 »

I think a should be allowed to be a child and not an adult
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Post by Prisallen »

I agree that there is a reversal of roles. I think, because she was the eldest child, she felt she had to take on the protective role, not only for her mother but for her siblings, as well. She didn't have much of a childhood, because of it.
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Post by Ghost11111 »

This is definitely a reversal of roles. When a parent is unable to take care of themselves, their kid can take on the role of caregiver instead of child. The only bright side of this kind of situation is that it helps prepare the kid for when they are an adult and living on their own. It isn't fair that they essentially had their childhood taken away but when a parent is either sick, mentally unstable or on drugs, there isn't much of a choice.
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Post by supernatural143 »

Yes, Natalie's protection of her mother is a reversal of roles. It happens but not often nowadays. A friend of mine happened to be a battered wife. Her daughter would tell her to leave her alcoholic and abusive dad for her safety.
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Post by LyorBoone »

It's definitely a reversal of roles, and it's one that we would hope would go unneeded at such a time. Generally, such a reversal of roles is unneeded till the parents becomes elderly and the child becomes an adult. But there other role reversal that are innocent. I have gotten to a point where I sensor stories that are written well, but with dark gritty details that some won't put up with, and I sensor these stories for my mother because there discussions worth having that such shows sometimes inspire. I've also had in this more serious situation, and she ended up taking a loan for college that parents used to spend on a vacation that probably couldn't afford otherwise. We live in a world where anything can happen, because people constantly question previous established logic and sometimes they end up disagreeing with well-reasoned logic...
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Post by Abi McCoy »

I have personal experience with this situation, and unfortunately it was due to abuse. My father was the abusive parent, but my mother didn't do anything to stop it. As we got older, my mother decided she wanted to leave, but she had no idea how to do anything for herself. My sisters and I ended up taking care of her in many ways (ranging from being her therapist to taking her out of town to escape periodically); I won't speak for my siblings, but this absolutely damaged the relationship I had with my mother, and added so much mental, physical, and emotional stress to my life. I think this is a common situation, and I hate the damage it causes to the next generation.
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Post by Aileen J Kreiss »

Yes, it was, she absolutely became the responsible parent figure in that household, even taking care of her brother when her mom and step-father failed to. I related to her character so much for this reason. My mother was bipolar. It took almost her whole life for her to find the right medications, and treatment plan to work for her. During my entire childhood, she was unable to be a responsible figure. I wasn't the only one at the time, several of my friends were in similar situations for a variety of reasons. There are a few groups on Reddit for this exact subject, kids that are stuck being the parent figure. It definitely happens today, maybe even more than it used to.
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Post by Samuel Okoye 2 »

Undoubtedly, it's reversal of roles...Natalie playing the role of a mother, and the mother acting all childish. I actually think such a scenario is quite common in families today.
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