Was there any way Natalie could justify her feelings for a married man?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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Rameen Shahid
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Was there any way Natalie could justify her feelings for a married man?

Post by Rameen Shahid »

We all know what Natalie did was wrong or in another explanation, unethical, but is it really?
Is there any chance you think Natalie had no bad intentions of stealing Mrs. Grover's man in the first place and that she just couldn't help her feelings in the name of love?
I think at some point, she can justify her feelings because after all, not everyone has a control over their desires, love being the most irresistible one.
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Post by lesler »

Love is unexplainable, but controlling one's actions must be done. She couldn't help her feelings, but she can control her actions on it.
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Post by FilmStar »

I could understand at 16 stealing Mrs. Glover's husband but I can't believe...

*spoiler alert*

that she was still with him when she became an adult and that everyone was okay with it.
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Post by mmklundt »

I believe that Natalie could easily justify her feelings. That doesn't make them right. That doesn't mean she entirely understands them at such a young age. In her mind it was justified otherwise she wouldn't have done it. Responsible adults, however, will not be able to justify her actions.
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Post by Tbunde5 »

Natalie had no positive role models to teach her what an appropriate relationship should be. She also has no knowledge of what real love should look like. In light of that, I don’t think we can blame her for her choices in this regard. In as much as her conscience tells her what she is doing may be wrong, she has been brought up in a dysfunctional home. We can hardly blame her for wanting what she sees as a loving relationship, no matter the cost.
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Post by Makena Mugendi »

At sixteen, Natalie was young. That does not excuse her actions. I do understand her position though. The heart does notice something so trivial as commitment sometimes. It is however up to us to govern our actions, to think with our heads. She was dealing with a lot, so it was a break she needed, so I don't judge her for it, but according to me, it is still wrong.
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Post by SparklesonPages »

I don’t think there’s any way to justify Natalie’s actions. We certainly can’t help who we love but we should be in control of how we act. I think she simply made the wrong choice.
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Post by EricaWilson »

I don't think anyone can control who they fall in love with, but sometimes if you love someone you have to let them go. For Natalie, the relationship just wasn't meant to be, and she should have known that from the start.
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Post by Bettercallyourbookie »

Tbunde5 wrote: 04 Apr 2018, 22:27 Natalie had no positive role models to teach her what an appropriate relationship should be. She also has no knowledge of what real love should look like. In light of that, I don’t think we can blame her for her choices in this regard. In as much as her conscience tells her what she is doing may be wrong, she has been brought up in a dysfunctional home. We can hardly blame her for wanting what she sees as a loving relationship, no matter the cost.
I wholeheartedly agree with this assessment of the situation. Consider that whatever Natalie's feelings & actions were, there were other people involved in the situation who made their own choices too. You can't really "steal" another person, because they make their own decisions and you can't own a person anyway.
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Post by N_R »

It is a very tricky subject and some people have some very fixed views on this. However, I think that love is really a collection of physical chemical reactions we have to someone and it fades over time (approx 2 yars), this is why a lot of relationships break up around this time. Real love is finding things to love about the person and continue to do so, which is why relationships undergo changes and phases. I think that we do need to think about what our intentions are and why we are doing things as hurting other people is not a good way to live or value.
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Post by Julehart1 »

You can certainly justify her feelings for someone who is married, because sometimes you can't help these things. But it's still doesn't make it right. Natalie was young but still should have known that relationship was wrong. Yes, she has had a tough life but that can't be an excuse for everything. She can have feelings but it doesn't mean that she should act on them. Everyone is responsible for their actions.
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Post by Bianka Walter »

I think it's easy to blame love. But the bottom line is, he was a married man, and she was responsible for her actions. I also think it is easy to blame her age and the fact that she may be too immature to know that it was wrong. But I believe that it doesn't matter where we try to place blame. The two people involved knew what they were doing, and that it was wrong.
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Post by ubiodee »

For me what Natalie did is unethical, but I dont think we can judge her except we can answer genuinely if we are in charge of who we fall in love with
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Post by Samy Lax »

It's easy for people to justify their feelings. I am sure that is the case for Natalie as well. But, does someone's justifying something make that thing right? Not exactly. Not all the time. But then again, she's too young to comprehend the gravity of the situation well.
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Post by Vickie Noel »

So Natalie (and her tough childhood) had a reason for getting entangled with a married man, and at such a tender age. But there are also people who have engaged in such affairs not necessarily because they were in similar situations to Natalie's. Conversely, there are those passing through the same kind of trauma who didn't resort to that route as the way out.Therefore, her actions can't easily be justified. Yet, I can't blame her for being in a vulnerable state, having no one to advice her properly on such matters. However, the other person involved should have known better, rather, he made his choice to do something he knew was wrong, instead of being a help to Natalie by steering her thoughts away from it.
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