ARA Review by Clare Blando of The Deserving
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Clare Blando
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ARA Review by Clare Blando of The Deserving
[Following is an OnlineBookClub.org ARA Review of the book, The Deserving.]
Initially, I was drawn to The Deserving by Efren O’Brien based on the description and my love of American history. However, after reading the book, I struggled with the rating. In the end, I decided to give The Deserving three out of five stars. That said, I would change my mind if some issues were to be resolved in a subsequent version. I will explain.
During the Civil War, Emile Deschampes joins the Union Army and begins a treacherous journey from his home in Louisiana through Texas and New Mexico where he encounters the dangerous and ruthless Confederate Lieutenant Aubrey McGrath. McGrath and his soldiers will join Confederate General Henry Sibley and his troops who want to conquer the western United States for the South. Emile nearly dies on the battlefield but is rescued by the young and tempestuous Carmen Reyes and the two fall in love. Emile and Carmen survive the war and start to build a life together but encounter McGrath years later. McGrath has become a rich but corrupt businessman and politician who attempts to kill them both once more.
To start with the positive, this story is quite good and the characters are engaging and well-defined. The story moved along at a good pace although at times became more like a history lecture which showed the author’s firm grasp of the events which took place during the Civil War and beyond. The fight scenes were exceptional, particularly the final face-off between Emile and McGrath. After decades of struggle, it was a surprising and satisfying ending to a long and bitter conflict between those characters.
Unfortunately, one issue in this otherwise engaging novel popped up quickly and became a distraction throughout. That issue is the use, and misuse, of punctuation. I read a lot of books and catch the occasional typo which is easily disregarded. Nevertheless, when the same punctuation error is repeated throughout the story, it ceases to be a typo and becomes an annoying interruption in what is otherwise a well-written and researched historical novel. For example, “I’m surprised they haven’t come by here yet?” and “I don’t know what they’ll do if they find him?” or “There’s no telling what this is?”. One thorough proofreader could have caught the many misplaced question and quotation marks. In addition, I must point out a sentence that read, “A Union army pistol belt and Union cavalry hat.” without a subject or verb. It may seem I’m being too particular, but accuracy is important if only in punctuation which would have made the story much more comfortable to read.
Because I made mental notes of the superfluous question marks and the misuse of quotation marks in the book, it led me to question other historical dates and details that were noted in the story. For example, were there Bond Fund referendums in 1860? (I didn’t research that.) When was corrugated cardboard invented? (1874) Are there basements in New Mexico? (Probably not in the 1860s) Finally, the term “white-collar crime” was first used in 1939 by sociologist and criminologist Edwin Sutherland, and was out of place in a story from the Civil War era. The Afterword in this book was exceptional for its information about the real-life characters who appeared in the story. Interesting for me was the lack of punctuation errors in that section. In fact, the writing in the Afterword was near perfect and contained no obvious punctuation mistakes. If Efren O’Brien writes another book, I’ll hope it is historical and not necessarily historical fiction.
***
View The Deserving on Bookshelves
Initially, I was drawn to The Deserving by Efren O’Brien based on the description and my love of American history. However, after reading the book, I struggled with the rating. In the end, I decided to give The Deserving three out of five stars. That said, I would change my mind if some issues were to be resolved in a subsequent version. I will explain.
During the Civil War, Emile Deschampes joins the Union Army and begins a treacherous journey from his home in Louisiana through Texas and New Mexico where he encounters the dangerous and ruthless Confederate Lieutenant Aubrey McGrath. McGrath and his soldiers will join Confederate General Henry Sibley and his troops who want to conquer the western United States for the South. Emile nearly dies on the battlefield but is rescued by the young and tempestuous Carmen Reyes and the two fall in love. Emile and Carmen survive the war and start to build a life together but encounter McGrath years later. McGrath has become a rich but corrupt businessman and politician who attempts to kill them both once more.
To start with the positive, this story is quite good and the characters are engaging and well-defined. The story moved along at a good pace although at times became more like a history lecture which showed the author’s firm grasp of the events which took place during the Civil War and beyond. The fight scenes were exceptional, particularly the final face-off between Emile and McGrath. After decades of struggle, it was a surprising and satisfying ending to a long and bitter conflict between those characters.
Unfortunately, one issue in this otherwise engaging novel popped up quickly and became a distraction throughout. That issue is the use, and misuse, of punctuation. I read a lot of books and catch the occasional typo which is easily disregarded. Nevertheless, when the same punctuation error is repeated throughout the story, it ceases to be a typo and becomes an annoying interruption in what is otherwise a well-written and researched historical novel. For example, “I’m surprised they haven’t come by here yet?” and “I don’t know what they’ll do if they find him?” or “There’s no telling what this is?”. One thorough proofreader could have caught the many misplaced question and quotation marks. In addition, I must point out a sentence that read, “A Union army pistol belt and Union cavalry hat.” without a subject or verb. It may seem I’m being too particular, but accuracy is important if only in punctuation which would have made the story much more comfortable to read.
Because I made mental notes of the superfluous question marks and the misuse of quotation marks in the book, it led me to question other historical dates and details that were noted in the story. For example, were there Bond Fund referendums in 1860? (I didn’t research that.) When was corrugated cardboard invented? (1874) Are there basements in New Mexico? (Probably not in the 1860s) Finally, the term “white-collar crime” was first used in 1939 by sociologist and criminologist Edwin Sutherland, and was out of place in a story from the Civil War era. The Afterword in this book was exceptional for its information about the real-life characters who appeared in the story. Interesting for me was the lack of punctuation errors in that section. In fact, the writing in the Afterword was near perfect and contained no obvious punctuation mistakes. If Efren O’Brien writes another book, I’ll hope it is historical and not necessarily historical fiction.
***
View The Deserving on Bookshelves
