Re: Steve as a father

Use this forum to discuss the April 2019 Book of the month, "Adrift" by Charlie Sheldon
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Re: Re: Steve as a father

Post by Kibet Hillary »

Prisallen wrote: 04 Apr 2019, 17:49 I agree with the above statements that Steve needed to work in order to pay the bills for his son. It sounded like he tried to be with him as much as he could when he was between jobs. I'm glad that he chose to live with him at the end, even if it meant they might struggle a little bit to get by. I think his son would be happier and Steve wouldn't feel so guilty.
This is true. The fact that he survived the fire and also the perils at sea in the lifeboat may have somehow led him to consider the decision he made. No one would have been there for his son, Jimmie, if not him.
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I think Steve was a good father who tried to help Jimmie by placing him in a place where he got the best care. However, Jimmie really needed his father to be actually present in his life.
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Post by Kajori Sheryl Paul »

vishu wrote: 03 Apr 2019, 12:48 The whole situation is a dilemma. While Steve should have dedicated more of his time towards Jimmie, it was his job that paid for Jimmie's stay. It is a common pattern among parents in the world.
I guess this is a dilemma faced by most of the parents around the world. Maybe, Steve could have brought out a little more time from his work to be with Jimmie.
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Supergirl1 wrote: 04 Apr 2019, 11:48 The time versus money conundrum is one that will persist through time. I think Steve gave as much time as he could afford. As a de facto parent, I understand this dilemma.
I do not have any parental responsibilities. Maybe, that is why this question came to my mind. It must be very difficult for our parents to keep us happy and feel loved, but they manage to do that every time.
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Post by Kajori Sheryl Paul »

Prisallen wrote: 04 Apr 2019, 17:49 I agree with the above statements that Steve needed to work in order to pay the bills for his son. It sounded like he tried to be with him as much as he could when he was between jobs. I'm glad that he chose to live with him at the end, even if it meant they might struggle a little bit to get by. I think his son would be happier and Steve wouldn't feel so guilty.
Exactly. Maybe, just maybe, he could have done that a bit earlier.
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briellejee wrote: 05 Apr 2019, 04:22 Well, Steve isn't a perfect father, but he tried really hard to provide for Jimmie, and that meant not being by his side all the time. I understand Jimmie's point of view, but then their situation is complicated already from the start when he had the injury.
I agree with. Also, his injury made Jimmie more emotionally fragile than he would have been otherwise. So, Steve's presence was necessary, considering his mother's absence. Maybe, he could find more time between his voyages.
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CatInTheHat wrote: 05 Apr 2019, 09:39 Steve did what most parents do. He did the best he could with what he knew. And when that was clearly not working anymore, he made a change.
That's what made him a good father in my eyes.
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Smiley 25 wrote: 09 Apr 2019, 00:06 I’m only glad that I will never have to make the hard choices that Steve did. Trying to decide between spending time with your son and making enough money for your son to have the best possible care would be heart wrenching. It’s obvious that Steve loved his son. In the end parents can only do what they think is best for their children in the moment. When he was working I think that Steve felt like he was doing what was best for Jimmie, providing. Since he was the only one who could do this I feel that it weighed very heavily on him. I think he was happy to do it. When circumstances changed, Steve lost his job and Jimmie had the potential to earn money for himself, it gave Steve the opportunity to imagine a different life for both of them. One that hadn’t been available before.
Undoubtedly, Steve was a good father, and he did what he though best for his son. However, Jimmie's fragile condition needed Steve to spend more time with him. Maybe, Steve sought an escape in his work.
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Michgal 32 wrote: 12 Apr 2019, 11:19 Steve tried his best, he had to work so that Jimmie could be taken care of.
Yes, but it would only help if he could take some time off, and spend it with Jimmie.
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Post by Kibet Hillary »

The fact that Steve was able to cater for his son at the Restorative facility meant that he cared for him. At times, I guess parents are left with a dilemma just as Steve. They always want their best for their children and in a place that appears everyone was struggling financially, Steve opted for work but also spent time with his son. I think balancing between the two was the main task.
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Lady-of-Literature wrote: 12 Apr 2019, 16:22 I think I mentioned this in another post, but what I basically said was that parenthood can sometimes leave a parent with tough decisions. In Steve's case, he was single handily trying to support his son into adulthood because of Jimmie's disability. Due to his job as a sailor he has to sail to far off lands to make the money needed to support his son's medical bills and board as well as himself. Yes, Jammie definitely needed his father's attention, but because of these circumstances the best Steve could offer was a phone call and a few visits. I think Steve is just a tired father burden with guilt and responsibility, yet a very dedicated parent. He could have like his ex and abandoned him and I think that says a lot about him.
Yes, Steve is definitely better than Jimmie's mother. At least, he tried to take care of him to the best of his abilities. I just thought that maybe he could have cut short the last year's of his service, and found a job where he could be nearer to Jimmie. Or, maybe he could just increase the frequency of his visits and phone calls.
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Post by Kajori Sheryl Paul »

Eclecticmama wrote: 13 Apr 2019, 21:48
Ferdinand_otieno wrote: 02 Apr 2019, 04:25 I think that Steve was a great father who worked himself to death trying to afford the care Jimmie needed, but I believe what Jimmie needed most of all was his father to be present.
I agree with this 100%. Captain Steve thought he was doing what was best for his son, and it took a terrible event for him to finally wake up and see it. I hope we get to see the two of them have their happy ever after in the future books. I'm curious to see how Jimmie improves now that he is back home with his father
I would like to see more of Steve and Jimmie as well.
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Post by Kajori Sheryl Paul »

chelhack wrote: 13 Apr 2019, 22:06 I think that Steve did what he felt was best as a father. Sometimes we as parents have choices or have to make decisions that are not always what we would want or like to do but have to do in order to gain the best results. If Steve had taken Jimmie in before how would they have lived? Where would Steve obtain the income to properly care for Jimmies needs as well as his own without working?

I feel that Steve did the best he could do in his given situation. He could have done the same thing Jimmie's mother did. Which was leave him altogether.
Steve was definitely better than his wife. Maybe, he could have found a job nearer to Jimmie, or kept in touch with him more frequently.
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Post by Kajori Sheryl Paul »

kdstrack wrote: 16 Apr 2019, 22:02 Steve spent a lot of time debating in his own mind what was the best for his son. Without his wife's support, he was in a tough spot. The thing to remember is that Jimmie was also an adult. When he finally stopped feeling sorry for himself and took the initiative to educate himself, Steve finally saw an opening for them to be together. When the door opened, Steve didn't hesitate to make plans to get Jimmie out of the institution and bring him home.
Steve did what he could in his situation. Also, I agree when Jimmie had a means of earning, Steve made plans to bring him home. However, all this happened when Buckhorn fired him. So, he only took the opportunity when he was out of his job. Still what he did was admirable.
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Post by Kajori Sheryl Paul »

Ekta Kumari wrote: 19 Apr 2019, 16:11 I thought of Steve to be an ideal father. He needed to work to provide for his son's care. I do not think he had any other alternatives than to work and he did try to visit his son more often. However, I liked his decision in the end to stay with his son and take care of him.
I liked that decision too. I find him to be a great father, just not an ideal one.
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