What changes you would make in the book, if you were the author?

Use this forum to discuss the June 2019 Book of the month, "Cynthia and Dan: Cyber War" by Dorothy May Mercer.
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OuKoyoo
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Re: What changes you would make in the book, if you were the author?

Post by OuKoyoo »

I would have made Cynthia stronger. She is my favorite character in the book and I believe she lived a complicated life and if she was stronger than as described in the book, then the perhaps the book would be more captivating.
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SunVixen
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Post by SunVixen »

Jo689 wrote: 07 Jun 2019, 08:17 I was actually thinking about this:

I thought the book was alright, unlike most. However, even though I didn't think it was bad, there were a lot of things I would have changed in the book, say if I was the author. The main things that I would change in this book is 1) add a backstory, or flashback of the events that happened in the previous books and 2) Make Cynthia a much more smarter character lol.
I would make Cynthia a more rational woman, too.
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Post by Nimisha_91 »

I wish the Author had made the characters more likeable.
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Mouricia Allen
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Post by Mouricia Allen »

A story that is realistic in the world it's set in. Flows well and doesn't have grammatical errors.
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Post by Juliet+1 »

I would provide more backstory on the characters, round them out so that their voices fit what we know of them. And as for Cynthia, if she is going to be such a ditz in spite of all her training there has to be a reason for it. Some trauma in the past, maybe? So, lets get that into her backstory somehow.
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Post by bmfought »

There would be many things I would change. The story on how she became head of security as young as she is... more in-depth on the coding, hacking, and what the "nerds" did to help....the actual book cover....the relationship to Sky being so unrealistic, and Cynthia just up and leaving her car when she is supposed to be security detail....The pages at the end with all the information on the Plan B and abortion pill.....More to Cynthia's story with her job, and how she can be at her brother's all the time. That goes for the nerds as well....There is just a whole lot that seemed to be wrong. I needed a lot more to make it believable.
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Post by klee8988 »

The only things that I would change in this book, given the power of the author, would be that in some scenes, Cynthia is portrayed as tough, black belt wielding, chief of security and super observant. In other scenes, she seems like a timid, stereotypical female. The first time this pinged me was when Sky meets her outside the white house and whips her away to a coffee shop, how did she not lay him out right there when he tried to lead her away and was being so mysterious?? I'm nowhere near super tough, but I feel like she didn't take any defensive action and that seems out of character. Also, when someone is putting a tracking device on her car, it mentions that she is super observant and doesn't tell us how she missed seeing him then.

The only other issue I had was that there were no physical descriptions of the characters. We know Cynthia was cute, and had short hair. Those are the only concrete details I found. It just kind of messed with me that I didn't have a stable mental image of the characters.
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Post by Momlovesbooks »

The main things that I would change would be some of the characters’ traits. In particular, Cynthia’s character should be smarter. Also, some of the dialogue seemed like it didn’t fit.
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Post by Herbstlicht »

This sounds really shallow, but I hate the book cover. It looks very unprofessional with the fonts, the authors' last names are missing, and overall it looks like it's been done in Paint by a middleschooler. That would be the first thing I would change.
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Post by Burnaard+42 »

I think the character development of the protagonist was very important and if was the author I would have majored in it.
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Post by Felicity Granger »

I agree wholeheartedly to your second part. Cynthia made it so hard for me to relate to her as a character she's so dimwitted I want to call her dumb. Ironically, I favour flawed characters more so than the pristine Mary Sue, however, Cynthia lacked any three-dimensional potential I almost cried.
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Post by Sheila_Jay »

I would change two things; one, the editing, I would remove all the emboldened subtitles because I am convinced that they did not enhance the book and instead felt like some sort of distraction. Secondly, my favorite character in the book is Cynthia; therefore if I was to make any change I would make her more resilient.
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Post by Bles »

The book was fine with me but if I were the author, I wouldn't have so much to change about the book. I would change the Dan character to make him more romantic.
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Post by Ari Martinez »

I would make the book longer in order to try and expand more the relationship between Cynthia and Sky, it just seemed so rushed and unbelievable the way it was written and it just made Sky look like a possible bad guy since the very beginning. I would give them more time to fall in love to make it more believable and make Sky more likeable to the reader so that when Cynthia suspects that he is a terrorist, it can be more of a shock to the reader.
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Post by Adina Lutinger »

I would make the characters more understandable and relatable, and also change the beggining of Cynthia's and sky's love story so it won't start as a manipulation.
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