What changes you would make in the book, if you were the author?
- kwame1977
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Re: What changes you would make in the book, if you were the author?
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I also found that some parts of the book were very speech heavy with very little description. It was easy to follow who was speaking but at times it was difficult to imagine the tone or atmosphere of the conversation.
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Thant's an interesting change. Would you keep the adultery aspect of it or remove that as well?hancocktara wrote: ↑28 Jun 2019, 09:37 An interesting question. As many have said, I found Sky quite creepy at first. Telling her what to do and how to behave, writing letters to her. In fact I thought it totally unbelievable that Cynthia would actually entertain Sky and his ideas. For me, I would have preferred to see them, rather than having a one night stand, meet numerous times over a longer period of time. It seemed too rushed for them to suddenly be in love after the strangeness of their first meeting.
I also found that some parts of the book were very speech heavy with very little description. It was easy to follow who was speaking but at times it was difficult to imagine the tone or atmosphere of the conversation.
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I like this idea as it seems more realistic. I listen to this book on audio so I don't know about writing in the book but the narrator did a good job with it. I liked his performance the best.hancocktara wrote: ↑28 Jun 2019, 09:37 An interesting question. As many have said, I found Sky quite creepy at first. Telling her what to do and how to behave, writing letters to her. In fact I thought it totally unbelievable that Cynthia would actually entertain Sky and his ideas. For me, I would have preferred to see them, rather than having a one night stand, meet numerous times over a longer period of time. It seemed too rushed for them to suddenly be in love after the strangeness of their first meeting.
I also found that some parts of the book were very speech heavy with very little description. It was easy to follow who was speaking but at times it was difficult to imagine the tone or atmosphere of the conversation.
The Minpins by Roald Dahl
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I think I would, although I would put it later in the story. If the characters were explored further it might make more sense. For example, the author could go into greater detail why Cynthia and Dan's relationship has fizzled out, and how Sky and Cynthia's relationship developed. Greater development before them having sex would, for me, make the dynamic between Sky and Cynthia more believable when compared to them falling in love following a quick, and somewhat creepy, first encounter.Nisha Ward wrote: ↑28 Jun 2019, 13:52Thant's an interesting change. Would you keep the adultery aspect of it or remove that as well?hancocktara wrote: ↑28 Jun 2019, 09:37 An interesting question. As many have said, I found Sky quite creepy at first. Telling her what to do and how to behave, writing letters to her. In fact I thought it totally unbelievable that Cynthia would actually entertain Sky and his ideas. For me, I would have preferred to see them, rather than having a one night stand, meet numerous times over a longer period of time. It seemed too rushed for them to suddenly be in love after the strangeness of their first meeting.
I also found that some parts of the book were very speech heavy with very little description. It was easy to follow who was speaking but at times it was difficult to imagine the tone or atmosphere of the conversation.
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- Nisha Ward
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I'm still not sold on adultery being the way, but this is a more acceptable way to go about it, since it would actually earn the reader's sympathy for Cynthia.hancocktara wrote: ↑29 Jun 2019, 05:49I think I would, although I would put it later in the story. If the characters were explored further it might make more sense. For example, the author could go into greater detail why Cynthia and Dan's relationship has fizzled out, and how Sky and Cynthia's relationship developed. Greater development before them having sex would, for me, make the dynamic between Sky and Cynthia more believable when compared to them falling in love following a quick, and somewhat creepy, first encounter.Nisha Ward wrote: ↑28 Jun 2019, 13:52Thant's an interesting change. Would you keep the adultery aspect of it or remove that as well?hancocktara wrote: ↑28 Jun 2019, 09:37 An interesting question. As many have said, I found Sky quite creepy at first. Telling her what to do and how to behave, writing letters to her. In fact I thought it totally unbelievable that Cynthia would actually entertain Sky and his ideas. For me, I would have preferred to see them, rather than having a one night stand, meet numerous times over a longer period of time. It seemed too rushed for them to suddenly be in love after the strangeness of their first meeting.
I also found that some parts of the book were very speech heavy with very little description. It was easy to follow who was speaking but at times it was difficult to imagine the tone or atmosphere of the conversation.
- Mely918
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I agree. It would have been nice to add a scene in the beginning between Cynthia and Dan to justify the immediate attraction she felt toward Sky. I also would have added a scene between Cynthia and Sky in the end before the wedding.Jo689 wrote: ↑07 Jun 2019, 08:17 I was actually thinking about this:
I thought the book was alright, unlike most. However, even though I didn't think it was bad, there were a lot of things I would have changed in the book, say if I was the author. The main things that I would change in this book is 1) add a backstory, or flashback of the events that happened in the previous books and 2) Make Cynthia a much more smarter character lol.
I definitely would have made Cynthia more solid. I thought she was wishy-washy. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was two people.
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I agree. But then again I am not a huge fan of flashbacks in writing in general.Mely918 wrote: ↑29 Jun 2019, 19:20 I agree with you. Flashbacks can be helpful in telling a character's backstory if done right. However, I don't think an author should rely on them too much. There's always better ways of showing the reader a character's backstory. Flashbacks tell more than they show.
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That's definitely something that's been noted across the board in the discussions about the book. Making Cynthia more solid would definitely improve the book a lot.Chrystal Oaks wrote: ↑29 Jun 2019, 23:49I agree. It would have been nice to add a scene in the beginning between Cynthia and Dan to justify the immediate attraction she felt toward Sky. I also would have added a scene between Cynthia and Sky in the end before the wedding.Jo689 wrote: ↑07 Jun 2019, 08:17 I was actually thinking about this:
I thought the book was alright, unlike most. However, even though I didn't think it was bad, there were a lot of things I would have changed in the book, say if I was the author. The main things that I would change in this book is 1) add a backstory, or flashback of the events that happened in the previous books and 2) Make Cynthia a much more smarter character lol.
I definitely would have made Cynthia more solid. I thought she was wishy-washy. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was two people.
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I feel that all three of them Dan, Sky, and Cynthia need to undergo a huge transformation for me to care about this book.Nisha Ward wrote: ↑30 Jun 2019, 11:49That's definitely something that's been noted across the board in the discussions about the book. Making Cynthia more solid would definitely improve the book a lot.Chrystal Oaks wrote: ↑29 Jun 2019, 23:49I agree. It would have been nice to add a scene in the beginning between Cynthia and Dan to justify the immediate attraction she felt toward Sky. I also would have added a scene between Cynthia and Sky in the end before the wedding.Jo689 wrote: ↑07 Jun 2019, 08:17 I was actually thinking about this:
I thought the book was alright, unlike most. However, even though I didn't think it was bad, there were a lot of things I would have changed in the book, say if I was the author. The main things that I would change in this book is 1) add a backstory, or flashback of the events that happened in the previous books and 2) Make Cynthia a much more smarter character lol.
I definitely would have made Cynthia more solid. I thought she was wishy-washy. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was two people.
The Minpins by Roald Dahl
- Bluebird03
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I agree with wanting Cynthia to be stronger and smarter! I always want the leads to be the hero or heroine of their own story, it's frustrating to me when they keep stumbling and making poor decisions.AntonelaMaria wrote: ↑08 Jun 2019, 12:53 Well, I really didn't like the book so where should I start with the changes? I mean this is a big question. Probably would make Cynthia a bit stronger and smarter as a leading character and Sky less of a mr.know it all and creep.
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I agree with you. Descriptions like these make the book appear as if the target group are teenagers and young adults, not serious mature readers.