OnlineBookClub.org

I read somewhere once that a person reacts in one of two ways to their childhood. You either embrace it and learn from it or you reject it and live your life in a way that will ensure you (and your future family) never return to that state of living again. In my opinion, the author seems to have managed to do both. He definitely learned from his childhood experiences in that it helped him develop both determination and an intense desire to succeed; but he also 'rose through the ranks', so to speak, in a way that ensured that his family (wife and children) never experienced anything even remotely like the deprivation he experienced in childhood. In my own experience, it's almost impossible to totally reject one's upbringing, even if it held unfortunate or even adverse experiences. Based on what you read of the author's life, which do you think he did? Or was it a combination of both?

I agree that it's a combination of both. After all, had he nod embraced his childhood, he wouldn't have learnt from it, but at the same time he recognised that he need to do better for himself and his family.

In my own experience, it's almost impossible to totally reject one's upbringing, even if it held unfortunate or even adverse experiences.

This I agree with you and I think the writer utilized the childhood experience to become better. What we become in life directly or indirectly comnnected to our childhood experiences.

Nisha Ward wrote: ↑20 Jul 2019, 08:17 I agree that it's a combination of both. After all, had he nod embraced his childhood, he wouldn't have learnt from it, but at the same time he recognised that he need to do better for himself and his family.

Wambui-nj wrote: ↑20 Jul 2019, 12:31

In my own experience, it's almost impossible to totally reject one's upbringing, even if it held unfortunate or even adverse experiences.

This I agree with you and I think the writer utilized the childhood experience to become better. What we become in life directly or indirectly comnnected to our childhood experiences.

Both true. Just as an addition: It's sometimes unfortunate that we can't escape those connections, such in cases of the cycle of abuse. Not in the author's case, of course. He didn't let his Auntie's behavior and his mother's subsequent reactive behavior create that cycle in his life. It is, in fact, possible that he made a conscious decision for his family never to experience that type anything of that sort. I appreciate you both stopping in and sharing your thoughts!

I think it’s a combination. No one can ever completely reject their childhood. The only thing you can do is learn from it so that you want to change things. Those things are what turned you into the person you are today.

I also liked how he grew to appreciate his mom and all that she did for him and his siblings as they were growing up, and although she had her faults, he was eventually able to see past them.

I agree that it's both. One has to know hunger to fully appreciate food. And the author knew what he wanted in life knowing what it was like not having it.

Jacquelyn-63 wrote: ↑24 Jul 2019, 10:42 I think it’s a combination. No one can ever completely reject their childhood. The only thing you can do is learn from it so that you want to change things. Those things are what turned you into the person you are today.

That gets into the whole nature vs. nurture discussion. Personally, I agree that our childhoods, for better or worse, do influence who we become. Unfortunately, not every childhood will produce positive attributes, and individuals don't always see the need or have to desire to alter those attributes/attitudes or better themselves. Fortunately, that wasn't the case for the author. His childhood actually instilled the desire and determination to succeed. I appreciate you stopping in and sharing your thoughts with us!

Nym182 wrote: ↑24 Jul 2019, 16:27 I also liked how he grew to appreciate his mom and all that she did for him and his siblings as they were growing up, and although she had her faults, he was eventually able to see past them.

I think that's the hope of every parent. "You'll appreciate this when you're older," isn't a saying for nothing! I know as a parent myself that I've made plenty of mistakes, but I hope that my kids will (eventually) see that I did my best, appreciate what I did do right, and forgive me for the mistakes I made. Thanks for stopping in and commenting!

mariana90 wrote: ↑24 Jul 2019, 21:46 I agree that it's both. One has to know hunger to fully appreciate food. And the author knew what he wanted in life knowing what it was like not having it.

Very true, especially in the author's case and every other child who 'knows want.' I think that goes the other way as well. How can those who have never wanted for anything, or who have always been given everything they want, learn to appreciate things in life? I know that's not true of every child with that sort of upbringing, but it's all too true for many. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us!

Kelyn wrote: ↑24 Jul 2019, 22:32

mariana90 wrote: ↑24 Jul 2019, 21:46 I agree that it's both. One has to know hunger to fully appreciate food. And the author knew what he wanted in life knowing what it was like not having it.

Very true, especially in the author's case and every other child who 'knows want.' I think that goes the other way as well. How can those who have never wanted for anything, or who have always been given everything they want, learn to appreciate things in life? I know that's not true of every child with that sort of upbringing, but it's all too true for many. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us!

Thank you for answering!

Obviously generalizations are erroneous, I'm sure there are people who never wanted for anything who know the value of things. However, it seems on the outside that in those cases, it's a harder lesson to learn.

mariana90 wrote: ↑25 Jul 2019, 10:37

Kelyn wrote: ↑24 Jul 2019, 22:32

mariana90 wrote: ↑24 Jul 2019, 21:46 I agree that it's both. One has to know hunger to fully appreciate food. And the author knew what he wanted in life knowing what it was like not having it.

Very true, especially in the author's case and every other child who 'knows want.' I think that goes the other way as well. How can those who have never wanted for anything, or who have always been given everything they want, learn to appreciate things in life? I know that's not true of every child with that sort of upbringing, but it's all too true for many. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us!

Thank you for answering!

Obviously generalizations are erroneous, I'm sure there are people who never wanted for anything who know the value of things. However, it seems on the outside that in those cases, it's a harder lesson to learn.

You're welcome! I try to answer everyone who posts on my pages. I agree that it's very easy to make erroneous observations. I think the lessons on either side are 'hard' to learn, just in different ways. It's difficult to find the determination to better yourself when it seems life is constantly kicking you further down no matter what you do. It's equally hard not to feel simply entitled when you've been handed everything on a silver platter and instead see that everything/everyone has value. Thanks for your response!!

I hadn't thought of that before! What an interesting conversation! The lessons are always there, no matter where you come from. The question is whether we are up to the challenge of learning them.

Love it when forums provide food for thought

Jacquelyn-63 wrote: ↑24 Jul 2019, 10:42 I think it’s a combination. No one can ever completely reject their childhood. The only thing you can do is learn from it so that you want to change things. Those things are what turned you into the person you are today.

I agree. Your past is part of who you are in the present day. All of your past experiences (good or bad) have some impact. I think that you were right in saying, you have to learn from your mistakes or adversity.

Always when there is two aspects in practical life, we don't see abrupt distinction, but only the mixtures. In this argument also, that is the same. It is a bit of both