From Being a Boy to a Man

[justjim]

I believe he discovered his transition on his Man Missions as well as in his home life. Let me elaborate a little when he was faced with losing his job and a failing marriage a lot dawned on him. Then again on his Missions he realized how much of himself he had actually lost playing the role of husband and committed father. We are after all individuals before we are Husbands or wives. That part of us always remains the same no matter what roles we take up in life.

So true! I look back at my life as a teenager and realize that I've grown a lot, even though I still have many of the same core beliefs. Life is a constant journey towards understanding ourselves.

[LiannaPrudz]

I think it was while at home tackling his daily life problems that he finally became a man. This to my opinion was when he was not satisfied in his job but kept working anyway for the sake of his family without complaining to Rachael.

[Sugarlump54]

I think when he was recovering from his divorce and finally taking responsibility for what happened he became a man. I think he realized it on the man missions when he was reflecting.

[ciecheesemeister]

It was towards the end when his perspective really started to change. He was finally able to see and acknowledge his mistakes and approach life from a new angle.

[Radhika_]

I think both the missions and his personal life help in his transformation. The time when he accepted his all mistakes and was ready for whatever life throws at him was the time of his transformation. But it started at the time when he got married. He had a thought that now he has a responsibility on his shoulders and he has to fulfill it and keep his family happy and satisfied if that means leaving his happiness also.

[LyorBoone]

I believe he was a man all along only that it was hidden beneath all the ego and the adrenaline. When he learnt what has to come first is when he discovers his manhood.

I agree with you there. So I would say the question, is when did he become a fully realized man? A man who knows who he is. A man who takes responsibility for himself. I think that part comes when self-pity becomes understanding and acceptance of a past that can’t be changed.

[mary-annef]

I think that an important message of the book is that society places a burden on the concept of manhood that is unfair. Especially if we fight to disengage from restrictive concepts of what it means to be a woman. I think a better way to phrase the question is to remove the gender component and ask when did he become an ADULT? If we compare how we talk about women reaching "womanhood" it seems to be exclusively biological - her first menstruation or first childbirth typically. How much of an ADULT was Rachel? Even when the children were old enough for her to go back to work "she didn't want to", and when her husband cheated on her she ran back to her parents.

[NetMassimo]

I believe he was a man all along only that it was hidden beneath all the ego and the adrenaline. When he learnt what has to come first is when he discovers his manhood.

I agree with you there. So I would say the question, is when did he become a fully realized man? A man who knows who he is. A man who takes responsibility for himself. I think that part comes when self-pity becomes understanding and acceptance of a past that can’t be changed.

Eventually he realized that he couldn't keep on going "adrift" in life, and if he wanted to be happy he needed to take control deciding for himself rather than following someone elses's rules. That's being a fully realized man.

[Tobewankenobe]

Every time he realizes that he needs to change. I don't think "Adulthood" is really crystallized. We have patterns of behave and the way we advance can be very cyclical. When your selfish, or prioritizing your needs it's more childlike, when you sacrifice immediate gratification for overall advances you're more adult.

[DorcasToo]

I believe he was a man all along only that it was hidden beneath all the ego and the adrenaline. When he learnt what has to come first is when he discovers his manhood.

I agree with you there. So I would say the question, is when did he become a fully realized man? A man who knows who he is. A man who takes responsibility for himself. I think that part comes when self-pity becomes understanding and acceptance of a past that can’t be changed.

Eventually he realized that he couldn't keep on going "adrift" in life, and if he wanted to be happy he needed to take control deciding for himself rather than following someone elses's rules. That's being a fully realized man.

There's a saying that goes every man is a small boy at heart. The boyish tendencies prevail till a time when self-discovery is reached. And that's why I agree with the both of your sentiments.

[NetMassimo]

There's a saying that goes every man is a small boy at heart. The boyish tendencies prevail till a time when self-discovery is reached. And that's why I agree with the both of your sentiments.

I didn't know that saying, but it makes sense. In some men, the small boy at heart prevail with regards to important decisions for all their lives. In the narrator's case, a negative period triggered a self-discovery that changed things for him.

[DorcasToo]

There's a saying that goes every man is a small boy at heart. The boyish tendencies prevail till a time when self-discovery is reached. And that's why I agree with the both of your sentiments.

I didn't know that saying, but it makes sense. In some men, the small boy at heart prevail with regards to important decisions for all their lives. In the narrator's case, a negative period triggered a self-discovery that changed things for him.

I like your interpretation

[Leyla Ann]

I think it was the case the moment they knew that Sam's father has died. It was so sad.....

[djr6090]

I think that an important message of the book is that society places a burden on the concept of manhood that is unfair. Especially if we fight to disengage from restrictive concepts of what it means to be a woman. I think a better way to phrase the question is to remove the gender component and ask when did he become an ADULT? If we compare how we talk about women reaching "womanhood" it seems to be exclusively biological - her first menstruation or first childbirth typically. How much of an ADULT was Rachel? Even when the children were old enough for her to go back to work "she didn't want to", and when her husband cheated on her she ran back to her parents.

Very well put, Mary. I was wonder why this topic was rubbing me the wrong way. He did act childish most of the time. So did she. Is this because the writer lacks some experience to round out his characters, or because his point is that the myth of manhood is silly? The image of the man's man leaves a lot to be desired.

[Miller56]

That is a tough question. The man missions are designed to reflect on their younger, more carefree days, so I think that they are probably more childish on these trips. At the same time, there had to be a lot of maturing during the trips. Family life, work, and responsibility tends to make people grow up, so maybe it is in the family life.