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From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 03 Jan 2020, 00:51
by Charlyn Tuzon
Which part of the book did you think the main character transitioned from being a boy to a man? Was it during one of their Man Missions or during his home life?
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 03 Jan 2020, 20:07
by Laura Lee
That's a great question. I would say he transitioned from a boy to a man when he sacrificed his own wants for the good of his family. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to find a healthy balance between meeting his needs and his families needs. I thought it was insightful, later on in the book, when one of his friends was pointing out the various ways imbalance manifested itself, either going to the gym religiously (the narrator's wife), micro-managing the kids' lives (the friend's wife) or any number of other ways. Balance is essential in work and family life to be emotionally healthy.
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 07 Jan 2020, 12:12
by Shabram22
I think he became a man when he believed he was a man. It's all in he attitude. Only when he felt comfortable in his own skin and accepted all mistakes he'd made, and accepted who he was was when I felt that he was a man finally.
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 09 Jan 2020, 17:02
by Paige Alvarado
Shabram22 wrote: ↑07 Jan 2020, 12:12
I think he became a man when he believed he was a man. It's all in he attitude. Only when he felt comfortable in his own skin and accepted all mistakes he'd made, and accepted who he was was when I felt that he was a man finally.
Yeah, I wasn't about the wallowing in self-pity. He was really annoying with his depressed phase. Maybe I should be more sympathetic, but it was a self-inflicted injury that he needed to learn to grow from. When Alec finally pulled him away from his cave, he started to show more growth, and shortly thereafter, I believe he showed a manliness about him. He moved on from his mistakes and allowed himself to enjoy life again.
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 09 Jan 2020, 18:02
by Juliana_Isabella
Laura Lee wrote: ↑03 Jan 2020, 20:07
That's a great question. I would say he transitioned from a boy to a man when he sacrificed his own wants for the good of his family. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to find a healthy balance between meeting his needs and his families needs. I thought it was insightful, later on in the book, when one of his friends was pointing out the various ways imbalance manifested itself, either going to the gym religiously (the narrator's wife), micro-managing the kids' lives (the friend's wife) or any number of other ways. Balance is essential in work and family life to be emotionally healthy.
I definitely agree. A big part of growing up is recognizing that you can't always put yourself first, and I like that the author features this lesson in the book.
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 10 Jan 2020, 03:31
by Falconcrest
I believe he discovered his transition on his Man Missions as well as in his home life. Let me elaborate a little when he was faced with losing his job and a failing marriage a lot dawned on him. Then again on his Missions he realized how much of himself he had actually lost playing the role of husband and committed father. We are after all individuals before we are Husbands or wives. That part of us always remains the same no matter what roles we take up in life.
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 10 Jan 2020, 19:32
by djr6090
I hope he keeps in touch with his inner child. On his 15th mission, he seemed to find his center. He learned to recognize his unique self and be appreciative that he is the product of everything that happened to him.
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 11 Jan 2020, 02:50
by DorcasToo
I believe he was a man all along only that it was hidden beneath all the ego and the adrenaline. When he learnt what has to come first is when he discovers his manhood.
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 11 Jan 2020, 11:34
by rpayne111rp
pshaw1414 wrote: ↑09 Jan 2020, 17:02
Shabram22 wrote: ↑07 Jan 2020, 12:12
I think he became a man when he believed he was a man. It's all in he attitude. Only when he felt comfortable in his own skin and accepted all mistakes he'd made, and accepted who he was was when I felt that he was a man finally.
Yeah, I wasn't about the wallowing in self-pity. He was really annoying with his depressed phase. Maybe I should be more sympathetic, but it was a self-inflicted injury that he needed to learn to grow from. When Alec finally pulled him away from his cave, he started to show more growth, and shortly thereafter, I believe he showed a manliness about him. He moved on from his mistakes and allowed himself to enjoy life again.
I see where you are coming from, but I also felt like the "wallowing in self-pity" stage was real. I've known many people who have gone through major life changes, like divorce, and experience similar difficulties. The character was kind of annoying; we want him to pluck up, pull himself up by his bootstraps. However, I think that Uliel was writing a realistic, believable character. Sometimes it takes time to process, and good friends who are willing to drag you out into the light of day, to overcome those hardships. I think it was just part of the growth process.
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 11 Jan 2020, 11:41
by NetMassimo
I think that his problem was that he was trying to be a man following certain traditional rules. When hardship struck him, he felt lost and passed through dark times. When, eventually, he came out of that, the man in him could come out of the "cocoon".
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 12 Jan 2020, 02:49
by Saraion
When he felt he had to admit his mistakes, he became a man on the fifteenth mission when he was broken, as if he had found a new shell
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 13 Jan 2020, 04:05
by Anirudh Badri
I felt that a great deal of growth came during the missions. Hardship and challenges spur on growth and the missions certainly had those in spades. The growth is best showcased during the time at home when the learnings are assimilated. As a result, while both have a part to play, the missions play a larger role.
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 13 Jan 2020, 21:12
by Frannie Annie
Falconcrest wrote: ↑10 Jan 2020, 03:31
I believe he discovered his transition on his Man Missions as well as in his home life. Let me elaborate a little when he was faced with losing his job and a failing marriage a lot dawned on him. Then again on his Missions he realized how much of himself he had actually lost playing the role of husband and committed father. We are after all individuals before we are Husbands or wives. That part of us always remains the same no matter what roles we take up in life.
I think we can never forget that we are individuals first, otherwise stuff like this happens. It's actually a good thing he never gave up the Man Missions because they seemed to be the one thing making him happy and they also gave him space to breathe.
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 16 Jan 2020, 04:09
by dhwanis
I belive it was a transition, each aspect of his journey contributed to his transition.
Re: From Being a Boy to a Man
Posted: 16 Jan 2020, 06:44
by Wyland
It was when his attitude to life changed and started finding the needs of his family paramount to his.