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I think he was depressed because of societies expectations of men, and how men can be very misunderstood. He also did not have someone to really understand him or appreciate him, and probably thought himself a failure in some way, which from what i understand is hard on the male ego

Over time, the expectations of others will eventually grow heavier until we sort of lose ourselves. I saw that quite a bit in the protagonist, the man missions seemed to be an escape from his burden, and a way of reminding himself who he was.

The main character challenges that married people face in the society today. Most people are put down by societal expectations towards them in their endless desire to appease the society.

Feeling like you have to be strong in every way is such an unrealistic ideal to put on anyone. It's too much. Never showing weakness, never making mistakes, it's an impossible standard. It would crack anyone and make them feel unworthy (which of course isn't fair). Compounded by a huge mistake (cheating) would definitely make him feel worse.

Yes agreed! expectations society had for him to be a Man were totally the reason why he got so depressed. It's actually so sad, how men can't show their emotions in the fear of backlash they might get

Like a lot of you said, his depression is clearly caused by the expectations the society has for him. A lot of depressions are cause by this. You are suffering, yet you continue because you fear what the others might think if you appear as weak. So, you go on and on until one day you break. It's what happened at the airport when he frozed. You just can't fake forever. It always comes back at you.

I think what caused his hardships were the roles he believed he was supposed to fulfill. He thought he should only feel a certain way and that everyone felt that certain way. This caused him to feel like an outcast and like he was less of a man and not good enough.

I think he was guilty and at the same time many men seem to get depressed if they fail as provided and supporter for their family and if they don't meet with societies expectations as a winner and someone who can be relied upon.

I dont know if I am correct in that observation.

I think he was not able to tell his feelings to his first wife who doesn't even know how much he is suffering from inside, suffering living the life she has been living he was hating his life of work. But he was not able to say anything and cheated on her, and after that, he fell more guilty. He wants to be a small child who can say everything but he can't as he wants to show society he is strong.

I think the main character is depressed towards the end because most of the decisions he makes are aimed at satisfying the society. He forget about his dreams and vision in life.

habsfan212 wrote: ↑18 Mar 2020, 19:46 Like a lot of you said, his depression is clearly caused by the expectations the society has for him. A lot of depressions are cause by this. You are suffering, yet you continue because you fear what the others might think if you appear as weak. So, you go on and on until one day you break. It's what happened at the airport when he frozed. You just can't fake forever. It always comes back at you.

This is very true. Often unhappiness comes from not feeling like you are achieving what you think you should be. Eventually there's always a time where is will not be able to be hidden any more

Instead of caring about how he felt about his job, he cared more about what Rachel thought about it. I was so frustrated at him when he decided to not leave the current job. I was talking to him in my head saying "Don't stay, you're gonna feel miserable". When someone feels so disconnected with one's self, they are bound to be depressed.

Men, in my opinion, has always been plagued by the toxic masculinity along the mindset that men don't cry. For me, REAL men cry. It's a sign of courage. I'll never want a moody guy.

I think you're right in a way - it's almost what everyone expects. Although, one would wonder why he sabotaged his relationship in the way he did when he could have probably dealt with the situation in a much different way. However, in some cultures, marrying the first woman that you have intercourse with is the norm as is staying with her and so, for these people, the thought of making a mistake like cheating on your wife might be more devastating than what one would normally think. Perhaps to the point of having a severe psychiatric disorder as a result. It's always easy to give advice or poke at someone for their behavior, but sometimes, or most times, (I hope anyways) it is more rational than one realizes. Additionally, some people might be more hardwired to be less flexible with changes and might go a bit off their rocker, so-to-speak when yanked out of their comfort zone, especially maybe if it was their own doing.

Charlyt wrote: ↑03 Jan 2020, 01:27 What do you think was/were the main reason/s for the main character's depression towards the latter part of the book?
For me, I think it was the expectations for him to be a man in a society where it is expected for men to be strong physically and emotionally.

Yeah, I completely agree with you. I also think he was just generally unhappy, with his job and his marriage. The fact that he couldn't do anything about his job because he was the sole provider of his family also didn't help matters.