Did this book change your perspective on 'the cheater' in any way?
- Tabuya Dube
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Re: Did this book change your perspective on 'the cheater' in any way?
- Manas Ranjan Mishra
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I completely agree with you. With these kind of strains in relationship, cheating may happen. And if cheating happens, both are responsible for that.Karina Nowak wrote: ↑10 Jan 2020, 20:37 I honestly feel that either the protagonist or his wife could have had an affair. They both were at the end of their rope and I was just waiting to see who would let go first.
But by the time it happened, I thought I would be mad and annoyed, but I just felt so sorry for him. He was so unhappy with his life, living in a relationship with a partner he couldn't communicate with and wasn't even sure loved him anymore, and stifled by his responsibility and what he thought others expected of him.
In other words, never in my life did I think I would feel sorry for a cheater, and I did. I really did. The author really made you feel what the protagonist was feeling and showed the progression of his overwhelming happiness at the beginning of his relationship to how it slowly fell apart.
So although we aren't saying that cheating is okay, it isn't. I came away with an understanding that a person can't be in their right frame of mind to cheat. They are most likely desperate and hurting and so off-balanced emotionally that they submit to something that can hurt others and themselves just to feel good about themselves and their life again for a moment.
What are your thoughts? Did this book give you any insight into why a person might cheat? Did you feel sorry for the protagonist at all? Or, like him, did you think it was all his fault and he got what he deserved?
- Smrithi Arun
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But in the moment, you sometimes don't see it. That was one of the things that made the story so real-life.Tabuya Dube wrote: ↑05 Mar 2022, 13:48 I understand how the author got to that point but still at so many points he could have made an effort to save his marriage, not by ignoring the issues but by getting help through counseling and the like.
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Yes it did! Sometimes people cheat when they don't mean to and because of some distress in their lives. That's what happened to our protagonist. His wife was killing his self esteem. Sometimes those who are cheated on contribute to creating the crack in the relationship. I am not saying all of them.Karina Nowak wrote: ↑10 Jan 2020, 20:37 I honestly feel that either the protagonist or his wife could have had an affair. They both were at the end of their rope and I was just waiting to see who would let go first.
But by the time it happened, I thought I would be mad and annoyed, but I just felt so sorry for him. He was so unhappy with his life, living in a relationship with a partner he couldn't communicate with and wasn't even sure loved him anymore, and stifled by his responsibility and what he thought others expected of him.
In other words, never in my life did I think I would feel sorry for a cheater, and I did. I really did. The author really made you feel what the protagonist was feeling and showed the progression of his overwhelming happiness at the beginning of his relationship to how it slowly fell apart.
So although we aren't saying that cheating is okay, it isn't. I came away with an understanding that a person can't be in their right frame of mind to cheat. They are most likely desperate and hurting and so off-balanced emotionally that they submit to something that can hurt others and themselves just to feel good about themselves and their life again for a moment.
What are your thoughts? Did this book give you any insight into why a person might cheat? Did you feel sorry for the protagonist at all? Or, like him, did you think it was all his fault and he got what he deserved?
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This was exactly how I felt too. Cheating is definitely a deal-breaker for me.Smrithi Arun wrote: ↑23 Mar 2022, 14:50 It most certainly did not change my perspective about cheaters but in a way, made me realize that infidelity is a trigger point for me. I used to be indifferent to those (whom I know and even in general) who have cheated on their partners. But when I read that part I was absolutely furious and I did not wish to continue reading further. However, I did read because I wanted to see some consequence. After reading the book, I’ve realized that infidelity really triggers me and this is something I’m extremely intolerant about.
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I totally agree with you.DorcasToo wrote: ↑11 Jan 2020, 02:41 Yes. It's not okay to justify cheating but when people are unhappy in marriage it eventually happens. When there's somebody else gives you happiness and peace you lack in your marriage or relationship, you automatically lean towards them. And this is the case here.