Carly and Kane's friendship

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Nym182
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Re: Carly and Kane's friendship

Post by Nym182 »

gilliansisley wrote: 25 Feb 2020, 15:03
Nym182 wrote: 25 Feb 2020, 11:13
gilliansisley wrote: 24 Feb 2020, 19:40

The slap was warranted, as he knew she had a boyfriend.

But Carly, girl. You are in a relationship, don't be snuggling up to a guy friend in the couch. That's truly just not appropriate. I'm a married woman with close guy friends, and we're not snuggling on couches.
Right? I also don't make my close guy friends a dinner for two...
I mean, I actually do that, with guy friends I had before my husband came along. But like, we don't touch. We hug hello and goodbye, eat like a pasta dinner or something ( I ain't making a fancy dinner, nah), and watch a movie on OPPOSITE ends of the couch. No snuggling. No weird flirty tension. No nothing.
That sounds like a fun platonic hang out haha... see I am a tad antisocial so I barely hang out with anyone... unless you count book characters :icon-lol: :icon-lol:
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Post by Nym182 »

gilliansisley wrote: 25 Feb 2020, 15:06
Nym182 wrote: 25 Feb 2020, 11:46
gilliansisley wrote: 24 Feb 2020, 19:46

The cuddling up and snuggling up was just inappropriate. That's not how you behave with a guy you know likes you, and you're already in a relationship. It's called boundaries, and being respectful of your partner (although her partner kidnapped and basically killed a girl in the woods in his sex den, so Kane was a definite upgrade).
You make a good point... Kane would definitely be an upgrade!
Hells yeah. Always nice (apart from the led-on kissing incident), was respectful, kind, NOT a kidnapping and murdering psychopath... guys like that can be hard to find!
He also has a job! I call guys like that a unicorn :lol2:
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Post by Nym182 »

Twylla wrote: 26 Feb 2020, 10:31 I think they were both at fault for putting themselves in that situation. Carly shouldn't have been as flirtatious and Kane should have respected her relationship with Adam. It was a mutual failure.
I think that's a fair point! Even if unintentional, they both could have done more to prevent this situation from happening!
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Post by Howlan »

B Creech wrote: 23 Feb 2020, 22:27
Howlan wrote: 23 Feb 2020, 00:16
CherylTegan7 wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 20:22 Being close friends, especially when you don't feel the same way about each other, is tricky to navigate. Kane may have been getting mixed signals or thought she was subtly trying to tell him she wanted more, but that was his misinterpretation. These are things you have to talk about first. The slap could be argued both ways. He crossed a line she thought he clearly knew and she thought she could completely be herself and get close without the line ever being crossed. Or maybe she was pushing things, getting too close when she should've known he couldn't handle it.
Yes, the slap can be argued in both ways. But since we are reading it from the perspective of Cary's first-person narration, I feel that Carly just wanted a good hangout!
Exactly! She really didn't know how to be a 'normal' teenager because she was always having to hide her differences from everyone, like not letting her LR shine. I guess she was just learning how to be friendly and Kane took it to mean more because he wanted it to be more.
Yeah it can definitely be a way to interpret that.
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Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 24 Feb 2020, 11:14
B Creech wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 19:33
Howlan wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 09:43

Yes but she definitely wanted for a good casual hangout. As she was in the first-person narration, I see no intent from her.
My take from the start has been that it was too intimate of an evening for just friends! I don't think Carly or Kane either one meant any harm, and I agree it is difficult at that age. I do, however, think that deep down Carly enjoyed the attention she got from Kane. Why else would she dress up and cook dinner for two? And then tell him to go when she knew it was almost time for Adam. Adam knew they were friends.
That's a really good point! Maybe there was a bigger subconscious influence within Carly than we realized... I think most people at that age would see that dinner as a date type of situation... It's not like they invited their other friends like Crystal.
Yes, true Crystal was not invited as it could have been Carly's way of saying thanks to Kane for covering her shift the other day by cooking dinner for him.
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Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 24 Feb 2020, 11:17
CherylTegan7 wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 20:22 Being close friends, especially when you don't feel the same way about each other, is tricky to navigate. Kane may have been getting mixed signals or thought she was subtly trying to tell him she wanted more, but that was his misinterpretation. These are things you have to talk about first. The slap could be argued both ways. He crossed a line she thought he clearly knew and she thought she could completely be herself and get close without the line ever being crossed. Or maybe she was pushing things, getting too close when she should've known he couldn't handle it.
I agree, it's definitely hard to navigate! It probably would have been better if he had asked if he could kiss her but they are teenagers so it's not completely unreasonable for Kane's hormones to take over! And I also feel mixed feelings about the slap...
Yeah Kane's hormones played a major role here. Also I think the slap was more of a reflex.
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Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 24 Feb 2020, 11:20
Readerjorge wrote: 23 Feb 2020, 07:38 It is a strange relationship of being close friends, somehow mentally connected with certain rules that each one has established. It seems difficult for someone not accustomed to expressions of affection, knowing what kind of samples of affection do not pass the line towards the romantic or the erotic.
Especially because it also sounds like Carly has not had a lot of experience with social interactions with people her own age with all her running from the Iksha. I mean, social interactions are hard enough to decipher at that age!
But still, she should have had friends over there.
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Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 24 Feb 2020, 16:26
Howlan wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 09:39
Nym182 wrote: 21 Feb 2020, 10:32

I think you really worded this very well! I don't condone violence in this instance... the lines were blurred enough that I can understand why Kane felt like it was ok to kiss her, (but you are right, he could/should have told her about his wanting to kiss her) but I don't think Kane was being aggressive to the point that Carly felt the need to defend herself.
I think Carly did it more as a way of reflex than self-defence.
I keep going back and forth on that... I ultimately do agree, I don't think Carly meant to hit him and that she was in shock... but also, she did exhibit enough restraint to not burn him... that would have made that scene much more interesting if she had accidentally burnt him! It would have created this whole interesting storyline and maybe give that whole situation some reasoning... Leads to Carly telling Kane about her powers.
Yeah, interesting point there but that would have created more of a drama. And Adam has enough drama going on in this book.
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Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 24 Feb 2020, 16:27
Howlan wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 09:43
Nym182 wrote: 21 Feb 2020, 16:19

I agree... it's confusing enough at that age but she definitely was blurring those lines... The only defense I can think of on Carly's behalf is that she is unpracticed at social situations... but still, making dinner for two and cuddling on the couch would seem romantic to me too...
Yes but she definitely wanted for a good casual hangout. As she was in the first-person narration, I see no intent from her.
Especially when she decides to put on those socks... she's obviously conscious of his sexual turn-ons and made an effort to curb them... (~shudders~ I'll never get over that part)
Yes, she definitely wanted no attraction from Kane at this point.
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Post by Howlan »

B Creech wrote: 24 Feb 2020, 19:31
Nym182 wrote: 24 Feb 2020, 16:26
Howlan wrote: 22 Feb 2020, 09:39

I think Carly did it more as a way of reflex than self-defence.
I keep going back and forth on that... I ultimately do agree, I don't think Carly meant to hit him and that she was in shock... but also, she did exhibit enough restraint to not burn him... that would have made that scene much more interesting if she had accidentally burnt him! It would have created this whole interesting storyline and maybe give that whole situation some reasoning... Leads to Carly telling Kane about her powers.
Ahhh, you're right, that's would have been very interesting if Carly had accidentally burned him and she had to tell him about her powers! That would have spiced things up for sure!
That would have caused high drama and an even more guilty Carly.
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Post by Howlan »

gilliansisley wrote: 24 Feb 2020, 19:40
LV2R wrote: 02 Feb 2020, 00:35 I can see how Kane would be thrown off a bit from being invited over and being a close friend to Carly. I do not think Carly should have slapped him, but that was her first reaction to what she thought Kane had crossed over a boundary set in her mind. Maybe this would be a lesson to Carly on how to remain friends, but more careful how time would be spent together from then on.
The slap was warranted, as he knew she had a boyfriend.

But Carly, girl. You are in a relationship, don't be snuggling up to a guy friend in the couch. That's truly just not appropriate. I'm a married woman with close guy friends, and we're not snuggling on couches.
Yes, that was casual on her part when she already knew Kane had this huge crush on her.
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DragonLight877 wrote: 02 Feb 2020, 22:20 I think Kane knew she was in a relationship. Just because Carly chose to wear a sweater, that doesn't mean Kane just gets to forget that Carly is in a relationship. Now I wouldn't say she should have resorted to violence, but all of that anger is fair, because Carly is the one who felt the guilt when faced by Adam again. It was wrong for Kane to take advantage of her in that way. No matter what she had on, or how she fell asleep accidentally.
I completely agree with you. The clothes we wear do not give others permission to kiss us. I applaud Carly for showing young women that they can have a male friend and expect him to remain a friend with no romantic intentions. The slap may have been too much but it did show Kane that she was definitely not interested in a romantic relationship.
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Post by DragonLight877 »

Exactly. Because now he has lost a huge amount of trust on her end. And that was definitely not what he wanted.
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Post by Hi_low »

I really liked Kane and Carly's friendship. For a while they brought out the best in each other.

The whole kiss/slap debacle was something that could have easily destroyed their friendship and I'm so glad they were able to recover from it.
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Post by amihughson »

Kane was 100 percent in the wrong, and Carly was 100 percent justified in slapping him. It didn't matter what she was wearing, or how close they were sitting. The fact is, she is in a relationship and Kane grossly overstepped the bounds in their friendship. Also, it isn't Carly's job to pander to Kane's interest in her. She was being a friend, doing friend things, and Kane tried to catapult them into relationship territory. That is solely Kane's doing and his fault. I agree that the author was probably just going for the tension of a love triangle, but if one of my friends tried to kiss me (i'm married) I'd slap them too. I am very affectionate with my guy friends as well, but a kiss is firmly across the lines of friendship and therefore completely unacceptable.
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