Carly and Dauma's Relationship

Use this forum to discuss the February 2020 Book of the month, "Opaque" by Calix Leigh-Reign
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Erin Painter Baker
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Re: Carly and Dauma's Relationship

Post by Erin Painter Baker »

Carly and Dauma's relationship was my favorite thing in the book. I thought it was very well done. Having had a strong mother myself, I never saw abuse in their relationship. Carly recognized that her mother was powerful. That is very different from believing her mother would ever use her power against her.

And while I also, as an adult and parent, would have preferred to see Dauma remain and fight alongside her daughter, one of the standard tropes of young adult novels is that the adults are too oblivious, incompetent, or evil to help. Dauma was a caring and competent adult who could see the issues as plainly as the kids. For this to continue as a young adult novel, she could not continue as she was in the story. So for the purpose of the book, she had to go. This is why so many "heros" in young adult novels are orphans. Loving, caring adults don't make for a drama where the kids have to save the world.
This way, Carly has access to her mother's centuries of wisdom, but the fight is still going to be fought exclusively by the teenagers.
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Post by Brenda Creech »

I think they had a special relationship and were very close. However, I don't think Douma should have forced the merge on Carly, at least not when she did. Carly had just lost her dad and now lost her mother too. I thought that was selfish on her mother's part. I think she did it for herself more than she did for Carly.
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Post by Alyssa »

I enjoyed the relationship between mother and daughter, they really had such a strong bond. My take was that Damua didn’t sacrifice herself for Carly to gain her power, but she did it out of grief. To spend your whole life running and always being in that flight mode would take a toll, perhaps the loss of her husband was the last straw. By merging Damua was able to end her pain but still have her power live on to help a future she no longer wanted to take part in. I was so sad when it happened, really wanted her to keep on because she seemed unbreakable.
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Post by Salma_asa »

Dauma didn’t really sacrifice herself. Rather she merged into her daughter because she had lived enough life and wish no more to continue without her husband.
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Post by Howlan »

I certainly felt that Carly respected her mother a lot, but I felt that merging was really unnecessary trait to have. I can't get a mother would force the burden of saving the world on her only daughter and leave her alone. I think she was great to Adam, the way he taught him felt more bonding than her interactions with Carly at least.
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Post by Howlan »

Salma_asa wrote: 11 Feb 2020, 08:50 Dauma didn’t really sacrifice herself. Rather she merged into her daughter because she had lived enough life and wish no more to continue without her husband.
Yeah, she could not handle the grief of her husband passing away. She already lost all hope at the fight but was revived by Carly so she fused with her.
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Post by ciecheesemeister »

In a way, it can be interpreted that now Carly has access to Dauma's powers as well as her own. While I would sacrifice myself for my son without a second thought, I kind of wonder about placing my soul inside another person's. I think of it this way. My son already has his own ration of stuff to deal with, and I've certainly dealt with a lot of things in my life. I wouldn't want to put that on him. Advice from a helpful spirit is one thing. Having them become part of your own psyche is another.
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Post by Nym182 »

ciecheesemeister wrote: 11 Feb 2020, 11:25 In a way, it can be interpreted that now Carly has access to Dauma's powers as well as her own. While I would sacrifice myself for my son without a second thought, I kind of wonder about placing my soul inside another person's. I think of it this way. My son already has his own ration of stuff to deal with, and I've certainly dealt with a lot of things in my life. I wouldn't want to put that on him. Advice from a helpful spirit is one thing. Having them become part of your own psyche is another.
That's really good point... The negatives of combining souls are never discussed!
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Post by Ria710 »

I loved that Carly and Dauma had a close relationship. The part where they merged together was very unexpected and it happened so fast. I wish Dauma didn't merge and instead worked on her life without her husband for her daughter's sake. Carly lost both her parents at a very young age.
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Post by Amy747 »

Leaving a child behind due to the pain of losing a partner seemed very selfish but at the same time, the merging meant it was like she was always with her.
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Post by kaylahk17 »

I loved their close relationship. They were close but you could always sense the mother to daughter relationship never crossed into an equal friendship. This maintains that parents are the authority and they can be close but they are not supposed to be your friend. Dauma's wisdom did make it hard for me to imagine her youthful and I kept imagining her as an elderly mother imparting wisdom to her daughter.
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Post by Nym182 »

Amy747 wrote: 12 Feb 2020, 08:40 Leaving a child behind due to the pain of losing a partner seemed very selfish but at the same time, the merging meant it was like she was always with her.
I had some weird feelings about this also... There was a big part of me that felt it was a little cheesy and maybe a wee bit "offended" (For lack of a better word). I guess I just felt like the author created this super powerful and wise female character who decides life isn't worth living because of her husband dying. Don't get me wrong, I can only imagine the type of pain that would cause someone... but Dauma had so much more to live for... Carly, getting some revenge... Why create such a bad-a$$ character just to have her fold?
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!” HST
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Post by Tigereetiger2010 »

I enjoyed their relationship in the fact that it made me think of my own with my grandmother in the terms that they were so close and although Dauma had skills to avoid any lies being told she and her daughter essentially had no secrets aside from those that her mother felt her child didn't need to know which is amazing of her in the fact that she has a very special and dangerous child but she still allowed her the ability to enjoy childhood as best anyone with special powers can in a less than accepting world. I also felt the ache Carly did when her mother merged with her, as although my grandmother didn't merge herself with me the same as Dauma did with her daughter she instilled so much of herself in me that it felt similar and the loss of her when she passed shook me to my core. Those movie style screams of utter heartache and despair that women expel so skillfully on tv when people they care for die is one I never thought could truly happen but I promise you it can. The heartache was all to real and I felt much like Carly did when she feels as though a piece of her died the day her mother left her. The relationship is amazing to say the least and I only hope that maybe I can one day leave that type of feeling in someone when I leave this Earth, in the sense of always looking for their guidance and the utter love that is shown in every memory of Dauma.
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Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 11 Feb 2020, 12:40
ciecheesemeister wrote: 11 Feb 2020, 11:25 In a way, it can be interpreted that now Carly has access to Dauma's powers as well as her own. While I would sacrifice myself for my son without a second thought, I kind of wonder about placing my soul inside another person's. I think of it this way. My son already has his own ration of stuff to deal with, and I've certainly dealt with a lot of things in my life. I wouldn't want to put that on him. Advice from a helpful spirit is one thing. Having them become part of your own psyche is another.
That's really good point... The negatives of combining souls are never discussed!
True passing your knowledge to your kids is cool. But complete merging seems unnerving.
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Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 12 Feb 2020, 14:45
Amy747 wrote: 12 Feb 2020, 08:40 Leaving a child behind due to the pain of losing a partner seemed very selfish but at the same time, the merging meant it was like she was always with her.
I had some weird feelings about this also... There was a big part of me that felt it was a little cheesy and maybe a wee bit "offended" (For lack of a better word). I guess I just felt like the author created this super powerful and wise female character who decides life isn't worth living because of her husband dying. Don't get me wrong, I can only imagine the type of pain that would cause someone... but Dauma had so much more to live for... Carly, getting some revenge... Why create such a bad-a$$ character just to have her fold?
Yes, her dying due to the emotional pain of losing her husband left too much responsibility on Carly.
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