Adam and Carly - Romantic or Dangerously Romanticized?

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Howlan
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Re: Adam and Carly - Romantic or Dangerously Romanticized?

Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 11:58
Twylla wrote: 26 Feb 2020, 18:04 Adam and Carly had a very dysfunctional relationship. But I have to give them credit, they abstained from sex. That took some commitment.

I didn't understand why she thought it was up to her to burn down the Den. That wasn't her business.
Agreed, that was one of the very few signs of maturity and restraint (which was very shocking considering the other sexual details in the book)

Yeah, that's probably my biggest issue with this book. She should have reported him to the cops or at least confronted him about it.
yeah it would be dangerous to show for impressionable young kids.
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Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 11:59
Howlan wrote: 26 Feb 2020, 22:49
Twylla wrote: 26 Feb 2020, 18:04 Adam and Carly had a very dysfunctional relationship. But I have to give them credit, they abstained from sex. That took some commitment.

I didn't understand why she thought it was up to her to burn down the Den. That wasn't her business.
Yes I agree with you on that one
Still their relationship had too much going on.
Especially considering they've only known each other for a month or so.
Plus they had a bad chemistry going on too.
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Post by Nym182 »

Howlan wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 12:12
Nym182 wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 11:57
Howlan wrote: 26 Feb 2020, 16:59

Also considering that sex cave.... Idk what will they show about that, a normal cave?
or a tree house ha
A treehouse would have been difficult to cover.
fair point.
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Post by Howlan »

Nym182 wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 12:59
Howlan wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 12:12
Nym182 wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 11:57

or a tree house ha
A treehouse would have been difficult to cover.
fair point.
Plus the shed made him more dark. A treehouse would have been weird somehow.
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It is dangerously romanticized for sure. I hate bringing this up for anything but it honestly feels like Twilight. Book aimed at young adults that shows a near abusive relationship like it's a good thing? That's both these books!

Really, the moment it starts to become "She can love the evil out of him" it have become kinda abusive and wrong.
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Post by Howlan »

Drakka Reader wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 13:51 It is dangerously romanticized for sure. I hate bringing this up for anything but it honestly feels like Twilight. Book aimed at young adults that shows a near abusive relationship like it's a good thing? That's both these books!

Really, the moment it starts to become "She can love the evil out of him" it have become kinda abusive and wrong.
Yeah it does have some disturbing similarities to Twilight!
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Post by Drakka Reader »

Howlan wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 13:58
Drakka Reader wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 13:51 It is dangerously romanticized for sure. I hate bringing this up for anything but it honestly feels like Twilight. Book aimed at young adults that shows a near abusive relationship like it's a good thing? That's both these books!

Really, the moment it starts to become "She can love the evil out of him" it have become kinda abusive and wrong.
Yeah it does have some disturbing similarities to Twilight!
Doesn't it? Ironically, I feel this book did it even worse! Covering up his "Den" like that seems to suggest a girl should support her boyfriend through everything, even murder or dangerously deviant behavior.
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Post by Howlan »

Drakka Reader wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 14:01
Howlan wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 13:58
Drakka Reader wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 13:51 It is dangerously romanticized for sure. I hate bringing this up for anything but it honestly feels like Twilight. Book aimed at young adults that shows a near abusive relationship like it's a good thing? That's both these books!

Really, the moment it starts to become "She can love the evil out of him" it have become kinda abusive and wrong.
Yeah it does have some disturbing similarities to Twilight!
Doesn't it? Ironically, I feel this book did it even worse! Covering up his "Den" like that seems to suggest a girl should support her boyfriend through everything, even murder or dangerously deviant behavior.
Yes that is way too extreme!
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Their relationship made me incredibly uncomfortable, and is DEFINITELY not one I would want a younger audience reading because it is so incredibly toxic. Adam's behavior is increasingly possessive and terrifying, and Carly just continues to ignore it all. The biggest thing that got me was her just completely ignoring his Den and the fact that he was involved with the missing girl. That is such a huge red flag, and her saying that he just deserves a new start and she can fix him is a horrible thing to teach teenage girls who may be in abusive relationships because they believe they can fix them.
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jahagen wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 16:13 Their relationship made me incredibly uncomfortable, and is DEFINITELY not one I would want a younger audience reading because it is so incredibly toxic. Adam's behavior is increasingly possessive and terrifying, and Carly just continues to ignore it all. The biggest thing that got me was her just completely ignoring his Den and the fact that he was involved with the missing girl. That is such a huge red flag, and her saying that he just deserves a new start and she can fix him is a horrible thing to teach teenage girls who may be in abusive relationships because they believe they can fix them.
It's like the author looked at people being forgiven and thought that meant that forgiveness should just be given, even when the person does nothing to earn it. Not a good lesson to give.
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Post by supraja_prasad »

gilliansisley wrote: 07 Feb 2020, 14:24 Oh. My. Gosh.

This was my absolute biggest pet peeve. And this is supposed to be for young, pre-pubescent readers, ages 11-17? HELL NO.

Their relationship is unhealthy as hell, but it's portrayed as totally normal, which is wildly dangerous. I liked Carly as a character, but completely detested Adam.

Apart from the most obvious concerning things going on in their relationship in general, the time when I was actually most upset was when Carly describes finding the Den. She describes how disturbed she is by the pictures of JoAnn, and the journal, and all that. She's overwhelmed, and yet she says "This isn't the time to be a weak little girl and run away". So she burns down the Den.

Yes. Because apparently, thinking your boyfriend is sick and perverted is WEAK. Because STRONG girls find evidence of their boyfriend having a f*cking scary-ass torture Den in the middle of the woods with CHLOROFORM, and WEAPONS, and SEX TOYS which "make it obvious what this structure was meant to be used for", and they burn down all of the evidence to protect their sociopathic, murderous and possessive boyfriend.

What an absolutely horrific message to give to young, impressionable girls.

And after burning down the Den, Carly says something along the lines of, "Adam deserves a fresh start, and I'm going to give it to him. He's made mistakes, but he's still a really good guy. I'm going to dedicate my life to healing and fixing him."

Horrifying. Truly, truly, disturbing. This is NOT a healthy example for how a relationship should be. If you find out your BF kidnapped and murdered (by accident, but still) some innocent girl just because he was uncontrollably horny, you take that sh*t straight to the police. You don't destroy evidence and cover it up in the name of "love".

In all honesty, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a guy who sexually assaulted me, and this book was a trigger for me. Red flags everywhere. There are points in the book where Adam says, "I'm not a monster", and I was in my reading chair saying, "YES YOU ARE, you psychopath!".
This. This! God, this got me so much. When I was trying to review the book, I was so disturbed. But, I was not able to put a finger on what it was. I tried to distract myself with the Sci-fi elements like genetics, the issue that Vikki might be involved in this mysterious world, the mystery and the horror of who Adam's father would be and pushed it back, as in way way back. But just reading this is a relief. I am not alone in this. Also, there are a few books that romanticises 'young' love. I am yet to find love, but if it is anything like this, I'd run the other way! And your point about strength and weaknesses is so on point too.
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Post by Howlan »

jahagen wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 16:13 Their relationship made me incredibly uncomfortable, and is DEFINITELY not one I would want a younger audience reading because it is so incredibly toxic. Adam's behavior is increasingly possessive and terrifying, and Carly just continues to ignore it all. The biggest thing that got me was her just completely ignoring his Den and the fact that he was involved with the missing girl. That is such a huge red flag, and her saying that he just deserves a new start and she can fix him is a horrible thing to teach teenage girls who may be in abusive relationships because they believe they can fix them.
Yes and they had no chemistry between them.
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Post by Howlan »

jahagen wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 16:13 Their relationship made me incredibly uncomfortable, and is DEFINITELY not one I would want a younger audience reading because it is so incredibly toxic. Adam's behavior is increasingly possessive and terrifying, and Carly just continues to ignore it all. The biggest thing that got me was her just completely ignoring his Den and the fact that he was involved with the missing girl. That is such a huge red flag, and her saying that he just deserves a new start and she can fix him is a horrible thing to teach teenage girls who may be in abusive relationships because they believe they can fix them.
Yeah and do not nominate it for the YA romance either.
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Post by Howlan »

Drakka Reader wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 19:48
jahagen wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 16:13 Their relationship made me incredibly uncomfortable, and is DEFINITELY not one I would want a younger audience reading because it is so incredibly toxic. Adam's behavior is increasingly possessive and terrifying, and Carly just continues to ignore it all. The biggest thing that got me was her just completely ignoring his Den and the fact that he was involved with the missing girl. That is such a huge red flag, and her saying that he just deserves a new start and she can fix him is a horrible thing to teach teenage girls who may be in abusive relationships because they believe they can fix them.
It's like the author looked at people being forgiven and thought that meant that forgiveness should just be given, even when the person does nothing to earn it. Not a good lesson to give.
Yeah no matter who it is there should be consequences for their actions.
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Post by Howlan »

supraja_prasad wrote: 27 Feb 2020, 22:31
gilliansisley wrote: 07 Feb 2020, 14:24 Oh. My. Gosh.

This was my absolute biggest pet peeve. And this is supposed to be for young, pre-pubescent readers, ages 11-17? HELL NO.

Their relationship is unhealthy as hell, but it's portrayed as totally normal, which is wildly dangerous. I liked Carly as a character, but completely detested Adam.

Apart from the most obvious concerning things going on in their relationship in general, the time when I was actually most upset was when Carly describes finding the Den. She describes how disturbed she is by the pictures of JoAnn, and the journal, and all that. She's overwhelmed, and yet she says "This isn't the time to be a weak little girl and run away". So she burns down the Den.

Yes. Because apparently, thinking your boyfriend is sick and perverted is WEAK. Because STRONG girls find evidence of their boyfriend having a f*cking scary-ass torture Den in the middle of the woods with CHLOROFORM, and WEAPONS, and SEX TOYS which "make it obvious what this structure was meant to be used for", and they burn down all of the evidence to protect their sociopathic, murderous and possessive boyfriend.

What an absolutely horrific message to give to young, impressionable girls.

And after burning down the Den, Carly says something along the lines of, "Adam deserves a fresh start, and I'm going to give it to him. He's made mistakes, but he's still a really good guy. I'm going to dedicate my life to healing and fixing him."

Horrifying. Truly, truly, disturbing. This is NOT a healthy example for how a relationship should be. If you find out your BF kidnapped and murdered (by accident, but still) some innocent girl just because he was uncontrollably horny, you take that sh*t straight to the police. You don't destroy evidence and cover it up in the name of "love".

In all honesty, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a guy who sexually assaulted me, and this book was a trigger for me. Red flags everywhere. There are points in the book where Adam says, "I'm not a monster", and I was in my reading chair saying, "YES YOU ARE, you psychopath!".
This. This! God, this got me so much. When I was trying to review the book, I was so disturbed. But, I was not able to put a finger on what it was. I tried to distract myself with the Sci-fi elements like genetics, the issue that Vikki might be involved in this mysterious world, the mystery and the horror of who Adam's father would be and pushed it back, as in way way back. But just reading this is a relief. I am not alone in this. Also, there are a few books that romanticises 'young' love. I am yet to find love, but if it is anything like this, I'd run the other way! And your point about strength and weaknesses is so on point too.
True. You put it in a great way.
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