What Would You Do Differently?
- S1234
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What Would You Do Differently?
I feel like a lot of people, myself included, struggled through this story because of Adam's fixation with JoAnn, despite there being an explanation. Do you think it would have been more enjoyable for the target audience if this specific part was not part of the plot? And if he was able to redeem himself for what happened to Terry?
What would you do differently to improve your impression of this story?
I would take away the JoAnn fixation and include a chance for him to redeem himself after what happened to Terry.
- leareiler
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- Alyssa
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But with Terry, I have to remind myself that this isn’t the only book and it leaves me with hope that Adam will do the right thing by the end. I secretly hope that he ends up the villain in a dark pot twist.
- S1234
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I do as well. I feel like after what happened with Terry he's pretty much nearly there. But at the end of the book, he's so different! I was expected Adam at the end was the main character from the start, if that makes any sense. I guessed that Adam at the start was possessed by something evil that Carly needed to get rid of, that way what happened to Terry wasn't his fault. Ah well, wishful thinking. He might go evil if Carly dies, but I assume a lot of readers that enjoyed the book wouldn't like that.Alyssa wrote: ↑03 Mar 2020, 12:56 Same, the who obsession with his mother made me really uncomfortable while I read it, even after the reason was explained. I feel like for the target audience it was a little to much, but I’m not that ago anymore and I know things change.
But with Terry, I have to remind myself that this isn’t the only book and it leaves me with hope that Adam will do the right thing by the end. I secretly hope that he ends up the villain in a dark pot twist.
- S1234
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He might, his character did a 180 by the end of it. I really wanted him to be possessed by something that Carly had to essentially remove from him. That way none of the sinister stuff was really Adam. I thought that's what the story was hinting towards when Adam saw his reflection laughing at him in the mirror when he kidnapped Terry. Have you read the second book?Alyssa wrote: ↑03 Mar 2020, 12:56 Same, the who obsession with his mother made me really uncomfortable while I read it, even after the reason was explained. I feel like for the target audience it was a little to much, but I’m not that ago anymore and I know things change.
But with Terry, I have to remind myself that this isn’t the only book and it leaves me with hope that Adam will do the right thing by the end. I secretly hope that he ends up the villain in a dark pot twist.
- Alyssa
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I didn’t even consider the possession possibility, I like it. I have yet to read the second book but I do have it on my list.S1234 wrote: ↑04 Mar 2020, 12:43He might, his character did a 180 by the end of it. I really wanted him to be possessed by something that Carly had to essentially remove from him. That way none of the sinister stuff was really Adam. I thought that's what the story was hinting towards when Adam saw his reflection laughing at him in the mirror when he kidnapped Terry. Have you read the second book?Alyssa wrote: ↑03 Mar 2020, 12:56 Same, the who obsession with his mother made me really uncomfortable while I read it, even after the reason was explained. I feel like for the target audience it was a little to much, but I’m not that ago anymore and I know things change.
But with Terry, I have to remind myself that this isn’t the only book and it leaves me with hope that Adam will do the right thing by the end. I secretly hope that he ends up the villain in a dark pot twist.
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- S1234
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I mean, she destroys the rape dungeon by saying “We could make use of the “den” now if it hadn’t mysteriously burned down a few weeks ago.” Yes, it’s later pointed out that Carly did it, but that is lazy writing and a sudden changing of circumstances in hindsight for a matter of convenience so the author can suddenly change the plot on a dime to go in the direction she wants it to go now.
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There are many things I would change in this story. I agree that Adam's relationship with JoAnn should have been more wholesome. I may or may not cut the scene with Terry as well because I feel like his mental space was apparent even without any added sexual frustration. It takes a lot to unironically refer to your peers as "animals." Plus, I already thought he was delusional when he was carrying around a book about telekinesis in high school.
If I was writing this book, I would also rewrite the entire thing in past tense and change the ending. How on earth did they know where to go in Greenland? It's kind of a big place. There's more I would change as well, but those are a few starters.
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I could not have said this better. I agree with the first few chapters being dry. The story really started off strong with some questionable content, with little to no explanation. Honestly, I feel like I was reading two different books when you get a third way in. I would drop the insects to make the story better, as well as to appeal to a broader audience.PRECIOUSreads wrote: ↑24 Mar 2020, 18:19 I would have to put more dialogue in the first few chapters to make it more interesting... Also I would have focussed more on Terry as apposed to his fixation on JoAnn to make the context a bit less uncomfortable. I would have also added some humor to make the novel a bit more entertaining.
- Frannie Annie
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