Official Review: Falconlord's Daughter by Jessica Connelly

[Katherine E Wall]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Falconlord's Daughter" by Jessica Connelly.]

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The Last Falconlord’s Daughter by Jessica E.M. Connelly, self-published via Smashwords, is really a story within a story. Written in first-person point of view (POV), it opens with the young woman, Aschaya, in a strange land, looking for help in her quest to regain her proper place and return to the land of her birth. This appears to be the beginning of a typical hero(ine)’s quest; however, as she begins to tell her story, she channels the spirit of her mother, and we find ourselves drawn into the real story, that of Lady Eirhynne, the Falconlord’s twelfth daughter. This story is also told in first-person POV from her perspective. The shift from Aschaya’s POV to Lady Eirhynne’s POV could be a bit disorienting, but if the reader is paying attention, the author does indicate the transition well. After the initial switch from one POV to another, it becomes easier for the reader to adjust. Connelly indicates the shift back to Aschaya’s POV with the introduction of the next chapter.

This book is written in five chapters comprised of several subsections. Each chapter begins in Aschaya’s perspective and as she continues telling her story, in the effort to convince the people to help her, she shifts back to her mother’s viewpoint. The first chapter begins with a lengthy, and difficult, introduction to several characters with extensive descriptions. At times, it felt like too much information, and not enough story action, but for readers who love fantasy worlds and unusual characters it can be quite rewarding. This is what Connelly does best. The book is rich with description and exotic and imaginative cultures.

The most detailed and developed culture and society is the land of the Falconlord. Here, the author develops a world that feels as real as our own, with beautiful pageantry, interesting traditions, and wonderful history. As we follow Eirhynne through the best and worst moments of her life, the author develops the characters and the world in such a way that we long to visit and meet them. Although, I guarantee, we do not also want to share their fate.

As much as I enjoyed the story, I have to admit, it seemed to take a long time before there was any real conflict. The author, maybe because the world is so inviting, delayed much of the true story as we are taken to explore the world. To a certain extent, this is part of the world-building and character development, but I think, at least, there should have been some minor conflicts, earlier in the story. There were ample opportunities for conflict, and often, I thought, aha, here it comes, only to find the resolution to a potential problem came too easily.

At first, I wondered, if this was because Connelly was afraid to make her characters suffer, and I was concerned that the entire book would be that way. However, once the author introduced conflict, once she began to make her characters go through problems, challenges, and indeed, agonies, the wait was well worth it. It was at this point, the characters, who were enticing before, became real, three-dimensional and powerful. Prior to this, everything was perhaps too perfect for too long, and I think the book would benefit from some creative content editing to maintain the world-building while still getting to the action earlier.

In fact, the book would benefit from an editor’s eye, as there were several issues with typographical errors, improper word choice (especially those pesky homophones), and even, in a couple of occasions, some confusion over Eirhynne’s sisters, Mayanne and Starleh. For example in the following passage:

"No, I'm fine." I smiled, warm in my wet clothes. I looked around to find my sisters.
Mayanne was talking with Leoa now and they were both laughing. Starleh was always so
quick to make friends. It was hard to dislike her, hard to not want to be near her.
Mayanne was harder to warm to, she had so many questions, she wanted to see
everything and know more about it all. People sensed that in her and it exhausted them.
Regardless, Romanb seemed to have invited the right mix of people. Mayanne was sitting
with three women on the other side of the fire and the four of them were speaking
animatedly.

Granted, this is quite early in the story, and perhaps, many readers would not notice it. Since I am an editor, these types of things tend to push me out of the fictive dream and into editing mode. In a similar way, so do other errors in the text. This was particularly distracting as many of the errors occurred in the most dramatic sections of the narrative. Like most authors, I presume, Connelly was caught up in her story, and did not notice these. Once again, a good edit would improve this book immensely. Still, the average reader might not notice or mind, especially once they are drawn into the rich world, enchanted by the characters, and caught up in the action.

While this book might not be for everyone, I think anyone who loves rich fantasy worlds would enjoy this. The pay-off, when we hit the depth of the story, is well-worth the meandering path it takes to get there. This does not mean you can skip over sections because within these longer descriptive narratives are the clues which make the end work. While I think there could have been more conflict at the end of Aschaya’s story, it was still satisfying and when the final threads were woven in, the tapestry of this book was beautiful.

I give this book a rating of 3 out of 4, due to the errors and the lack of conflict through the early part of the book. I would like to read more of Jessica E.M. Connolly’s work, especially as she refines her talent. As it is, I intend to reread The Last Falconlord’s Daughter, purely for pleasure in the near future.

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[ALRyder]

I am a sucker for wonderful world building. Even with the issues you mentioned this one may be worth a shot. From what you said this seems like it may just be a book to set up more books in the series. If that is the case the rest will probably be much better, right? Anyway, great review.

[Katherine E Wall]

I am a sucker for wonderful world building. Even with the issues you mentioned this one may be worth a shot. From what you said this seems like it may just be a book to set up more books in the series. If that is the case the rest will probably be much better, right? Anyway, great review.

I could definitely see a sequel to this book. Regardless, I will be on the lookout for future books by Jessica Connelly. I love watching the growth of writers.