Official Review: Illusion by Nassim Nakad
-
- Posts: 5980
- Joined: 27 Mar 2013, 20:01
- Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =3452">The Thorn Birds</a>
- Currently Reading: The Last Stonestepper
- Bookshelf Size: 79
- Signature Addition: View official OnlineBookClub.org review of Forever Twelve
Re: Official Review: Illusion by Nassim Nakad
If you want to become a better writer, you have to focus your story and make it less disjointed and confusing. Have you considered doing a writing workshop or taking a class? Your story is an odd one that definitely needs refinement in order to be good. You've got some thoughts you want to share, but you don't have them presented in a way that really works. Being a good writer requires more than the power of your convictions. But you're a unique person... I think you can find the right way to express yourself.

- bluemel4
- Previous Member of the Month
- Posts: 5222
- Joined: 01 Mar 2015, 14:43
- Currently Reading: The Dark Tower, Books 1-3
- Bookshelf Size: 466
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bluemel4.html
- Latest Review: "Severed Threads" by Kaylin McFarren
- Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU
zeldas_lullaby wrote:Nassim, I probably wouldn't have given your book more than two stars either, so don't blame BookOwlie.
If you want to become a better writer, you have to focus your story and make it less disjointed and confusing. Have you considered doing a writing workshop or taking a class? Your story is an odd one that definitely needs refinement in order to be good. You've got some thoughts you want to share, but you don't have them presented in a way that really works. Being a good writer requires more than the power of your convictions. But you're a unique person... I think you can find the right way to express yourself.

- bookowlie
- Special Discussion Leader
- Posts: 9072
- Joined: 25 Oct 2014, 09:52
- Favorite Book: The Lost Continent
- Currently Reading: A Death Long Overdue
- Bookshelf Size: 462
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bookowlie.html
- Latest Review: To Paint A Murder by E. J. Gandolfo




-- 03 Jun 2015, 20:06 --
Good points! Actually, I'm sure some parts of the story are intended to confuse the reader.zeldas_lullaby wrote:Nassim, I probably wouldn't have given your book more than two stars either, so don't blame BookOwlie.
If you want to become a better writer, you have to focus your story and make it less disjointed and confusing. Have you considered doing a writing workshop or taking a class? Your story is an odd one that definitely needs refinement in order to be good. You've got some thoughts you want to share, but you don't have them presented in a way that really works. Being a good writer requires more than the power of your convictions. But you're a unique person... I think you can find the right way to express yourself.
Hey, did you catch the new banana I discovered - the line-dancing one. Conga line!
-
- Posts: 5980
- Joined: 27 Mar 2013, 20:01
- Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =3452">The Thorn Birds</a>
- Currently Reading: The Last Stonestepper
- Bookshelf Size: 79
- Signature Addition: View official OnlineBookClub.org review of Forever Twelve
Get down, BookOwlie!! Rockin'.
- bluemel4
- Previous Member of the Month
- Posts: 5222
- Joined: 01 Mar 2015, 14:43
- Currently Reading: The Dark Tower, Books 1-3
- Bookshelf Size: 466
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bluemel4.html
- Latest Review: "Severed Threads" by Kaylin McFarren
- Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU
-
- Posts: 5980
- Joined: 27 Mar 2013, 20:01
- Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =3452">The Thorn Birds</a>
- Currently Reading: The Last Stonestepper
- Bookshelf Size: 79
- Signature Addition: View official OnlineBookClub.org review of Forever Twelve
-- 03 Jun 2015, 20:27 --





Banana angels!!
- bookowlie
- Special Discussion Leader
- Posts: 9072
- Joined: 25 Oct 2014, 09:52
- Favorite Book: The Lost Continent
- Currently Reading: A Death Long Overdue
- Bookshelf Size: 462
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bookowlie.html
- Latest Review: To Paint A Murder by E. J. Gandolfo
-
- Posts: 5980
- Joined: 27 Mar 2013, 20:01
- Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =3452">The Thorn Birds</a>
- Currently Reading: The Last Stonestepper
- Bookshelf Size: 79
- Signature Addition: View official OnlineBookClub.org review of Forever Twelve







But, divine as they are, they cannot dance.
- bluemel4
- Previous Member of the Month
- Posts: 5222
- Joined: 01 Mar 2015, 14:43
- Currently Reading: The Dark Tower, Books 1-3
- Bookshelf Size: 466
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bluemel4.html
- Latest Review: "Severed Threads" by Kaylin McFarren
- Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU

Um... There I added a valuable comment to the conversation.




-
- Posts: 5980
- Joined: 27 Mar 2013, 20:01
- Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =3452">The Thorn Birds</a>
- Currently Reading: The Last Stonestepper
- Bookshelf Size: 79
- Signature Addition: View official OnlineBookClub.org review of Forever Twelve
None of our other bananas compare!

- bluemel4
- Previous Member of the Month
- Posts: 5222
- Joined: 01 Mar 2015, 14:43
- Currently Reading: The Dark Tower, Books 1-3
- Bookshelf Size: 466
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bluemel4.html
- Latest Review: "Severed Threads" by Kaylin McFarren
- Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU

OMG I am literally laughing out loud. You are so funny @zeldas_lullaby!
-
- Posts: 5980
- Joined: 27 Mar 2013, 20:01
- Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =3452">The Thorn Birds</a>
- Currently Reading: The Last Stonestepper
- Bookshelf Size: 79
- Signature Addition: View official OnlineBookClub.org review of Forever Twelve
- bookowlie
- Special Discussion Leader
- Posts: 9072
- Joined: 25 Oct 2014, 09:52
- Favorite Book: The Lost Continent
- Currently Reading: A Death Long Overdue
- Bookshelf Size: 462
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bookowlie.html
- Latest Review: To Paint A Murder by E. J. Gandolfo
-
- Posts: 5980
- Joined: 27 Mar 2013, 20:01
- Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... =3452">The Thorn Birds</a>
- Currently Reading: The Last Stonestepper
- Bookshelf Size: 79
- Signature Addition: View official OnlineBookClub.org review of Forever Twelve
- bluemel4
- Previous Member of the Month
- Posts: 5222
- Joined: 01 Mar 2015, 14:43
- Currently Reading: The Dark Tower, Books 1-3
- Bookshelf Size: 466
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bluemel4.html
- Latest Review: "Severed Threads" by Kaylin McFarren
- Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU




Hrm.. dancing chickens?? I fear our chickens do not dance.