Review by sabine -- Man Mission by Eytan Uliel

[sabine]

[Following is a volunteer review of "Man Mission" by Eytan Uliel.]

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4 out of 4 stars

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Man Mission is the story of four men who traverse in annual expeditions through exotic locations, taking on rough “manly” activities. Over fifteen years, these yearly adventures eventually evolves into a space for connection and self-growth. Through this novel, Eytan Uliel unpacks the emotions and struggles of these friends as they stumble through their marriage, work, and the general struggles of life.

While this novel is incredibly heartwarming and thought-provoking, I found the first half of the novel to be slow and frustrating. At times, I wondered if the narrator and author, Eytan, simply lacked self-awareness. His desire to be macho and manly amongst his friends felt immature and almost self-imprisoning. While each of their exotic adventures was exciting, the four men’s constant need to prove their manliness to each other was exhausting to read. Coupling Eytan’s distant marriage and his inability to process his feelings, with his friends who mocked him for his “wimpy-ness”, I felt incredibly sad for this character. I wondered when they would realize that playing by the “Relationship Playbook” would never solve their problems; the playbook itself was flawed and incomplete. It made sense to me that this adventure eventually became his safe place as it allowed him to escape the pressures of his marriage and work. Yet even then, I wondered if Eytan truly felt safe during these trips.

Somewhere in the middle of the novel, there was a big shift. Things really started to fall apart for Eytan, and the four friends relied more and more on their annual “Man Mission” for sanctity. We see Eytan’s life fall apart quite suddenly, and we resonate with his struggles as he desperately wonders where it all went wrong. After having done everything right and sacrificed for his family the way a husband and a father should, Eytan is left feeling alone, unheard, and abandoned.

Yet it is within this dark period that the author’s genius truly shines. Often in life, we have expectations placed on us from early on. We are expected to think a certain way, to live a certain way, and follow our own “Relationship Playbook” like these four men have. Over and over, we sacrifice and follow those rules because that is what we are told is right. Any feelings or thoughts that suggest displeasure with the “playbook” is buried deep under because we have been taught that only way of life is right. Yet “Man Mission” shows that we can gain strength by being vulnerable with each other. When Eytan’s life falls apart, he unintentionally invites his friends to open up about their struggles. Suddenly, Eytan is not the only one who was hurt and confused; all of them have been hurt but were unable to admit it. Sharing these experiences with each other opens up a chance for them to not only survive but thrive. This is the true beauty of this novel; it inspires us to open up, to be in touch with our feelings, and to find strength in our vulnerability.

I rate this novel a 4 out of 4 stars. The novel was well edited, enticing, and thought-provoking. The narrator is certainly far from being a hero, and the novel does not end with a fairy tale ending. However, it leaves the reader with a sense of hope. I believe Eytan will encounter more struggles and will feel lonely again in his life. Yet I also believe a story about someone’s life can never just end; there will always be room for more, more to discover, and more to grow.

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Man Mission
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[Bigwig1973]

Your review is different than most others in that it focuses on the emotional and social aspects of this book rather than on the treks he went on with his friends. Regarding those, you point out that even though he was "safe" from social and relationship pressures with his friends, you wondered whether or not he truly felt safe. I imagine that is what life is like for a lot of folks - people just never put it out there on the table. On a grand scale, it is crippling to society to have so much mental energy wasted constantly trying to feel safe and some may argue that it would be irresponsible to not try to stay safe. There's probably a happy medium, as they say, somewhere! I liked that your review had a different focus as I think the author did try to make a point of that issue!