Official Review: Pit of Vipers: Sons of Kings Book 2

[Kappy]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Pit of Vipers: Sons of Kings Book 2" by Millie Thom.]

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3 out of 4 stars

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Pit of Vipers (Sons of Kings, Book Two) (2014), by Millie Thom, is a 289-page self-published historical novel that takes place in Anglo-Saxon England during A.D. 864-871, featuring issues such as honor, betrayal, assassination, vengeance, and family loyalty. The author is a former geography and history teacher.

This book has earned 3 out of 4 stars. In many respects, this is an excellent novel. However, the dialogue is not convincing. Much too often, the characters converse like university graduates who have calmly and carefully chosen their words, speaking with impeccable grammar that would not be realistic even in a story taking place today.

The protagonists are Eadwulf of Mercia (central England) and Alfred of Wessex (southern England). Alfred is 15 years old as the book begins and will later be known as Alfred the Great. England had often been raided by bands of Danes (often called "Vikings" today), but in A.D. 865, the Great Heathen Army (an alliance of Norse warriors) starts arriving in England, establishing a threat much greater than ever before; this takes place about one-third of the way into the book. The last third of the book includes several battles between the Saxons and the Great Army. Most of the novel deals with the daily activities of the numerous characters; the author goes into great detail that immerses the reader into the story.

Preceding the narrative is a rather intimidating long list of characters; the list might be more useful if the main characters were separated from the minor characters. In addition, a brief history of the major events of the time period would give many readers a better understanding of the forthcoming story.

The author uses modern English throughout the tale, with a few Old English words thrown in here and there (e.g., thegn and fyrd). The grammatical errors are infrequent and minor. She writes clearly and concisely, so the story is reasonably easy to follow even though there are numerous characters presented. In addition, she precedes nearly every chapter with the location and date of the upcoming events; this is a great help to the reader. Several gruesome events take place during the narrative, but the author describes the proceedings without resorting to crude language.

There's a good chance you will enjoy reading this novel if you're a fan of historical fiction, especially if you are interested in the history of England and like reading detailed descriptions of places and situations. However, if you want a fast-paced story with excitement, suspense, and believable dialogue, you probably will be disappointed.

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Pit of Vipers: Sons of Kings Book 2
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[Lisalovecraft]

Dialogue is tricky to writes well. It can also make or break a book for me. I'd probably rather see academic type dialogue than poorly written vernacular, however. I liked this review!

[Kappy]

Dialogue is tricky to writes well. It can also make or break a book for me. I'd probably rather see academic type dialogue than poorly written vernacular, however. I liked this review!

Thanks, Lisa. It was a pleasure reading a novel without the numerous amateurish grammatical errors you typically find in self-published books. The author obviously put in a great deal of work in researching and writing this book, so I hated giving fewer than four stars. She is a true professional who simply needs more experience in writing dialogue.

[milliethom]

Thank you for the review, Kappy. As this is the first time any reviewer (of either of my books) has mentioned the dialogue, you have given me something to discuss with the professional editor I use. I admit it threw me a litttle, but it's definitely given me food for thought. As a new author, I appreciate any criticism about my work. Thank you for the nice praise regarding other aspects of the book in the comment above.

[Kappy]

Thank you for the review, Kappy.... I appreciate any criticism about my work. Thank you for the nice praise regarding other aspects of the book in the comment above.

I hope my review helped you. You'd be surprised how often authors will not accept any criticism of their work. I love novels that are educational, such as yours.

[milliethom]

Any criticism obviously needs looking into, which is what I will do in this case. It's often difficult to judge whether to act upon suggestions or not, especially considering they're based on personal opinion. The editor I use is very experienced, having worked in the profession for many years. and I'm extremely surprised he didn't criticise the dialogue, in either of the books. If he didn't like anything he always made it very clear! As I said, you're the first person to mention it, so I do intend to discuss it with him. I'm grateful for the criticism, Kappy. It's given me something to think about carefully while I write Book 3.

[teacher_jane1]

I am a student of Anglo-Saxon literature and language, and this sounds like an excellent novel to read for that area of history! Thanks for a thoughtful review; I wouldn't have picked up this book from the bookshelf, but your review does a great job explaining what the book is really about and what kind of reader would enjoy it. Good job!

[bookowlie]

Nice, insightful review. I have a weakness for books set in England, so I am give this book a second look. I don't know much about this period in history, but I always enjoy learning something while reading. What an interesting tidbit that the author is a former geography and history teacher!

[Kappy]

Thanks for the kind words, teacher_jane1 and bookowlie. I haven't read many historical novels, but this is the second one in a couple of months, and I found them both to be excellent.

[Michelle-lit]

I was wondering while reading this book if you were able to have an emotional connection with the characters? You said most of the book contains their daily activities. I would think that would become dull if the emotional connection were lacking.

[Kappy]

I was wondering while reading this book if you were able to have an emotional connection with the characters? You said most of the book contains their daily activities. I would think that would become dull if the emotional connection were lacking.

The author did a good job of revealing the thoughts and motivations of the characters. I would personally prefer a novel focused more on action, but I didn't downgrade the book for that because I feel that the target audience will appreciate the numerous details the author included.