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Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 02 Jun 2015, 08:14
by Jesska6029
[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Sudden Darkness" by L. R. Erdmann.]
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2 out of 4 stars
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A brilliant private investigator. A frightened woman. A satanic cult. Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann delivers the story of Bill Radner, who works as a private investigator and Alice, who needs immediate assistance in dealing with her brother, Adam. Adam has gotten in too deep with a satanic cult. Soon, his bizarre behavior provokes Alice to enlist Bill to help her with Adam. Bill and his partner must travel down the rabbit hole to discover how far Adam and his followers have gone, and they must stop Adam’s cult before they can complete a horrific sacrifice. Before the end, Bill will discover which force is greater: good or evil.

The concept of Sudden Darkness is an interesting one. The concept of good vs. evil has been done before, but some stories can put new spins on the concept and prove to be entertaining and thought-provoking reads. However, this novel fails in its execution to deliver anything entertaining or thought-provoking. The plot drags along, without any major plot advances. The planning of Adam’s takedown is overly long. It seems there is enough content in this book for a short story but not for a novel. One part of the plot that is unbelievable to me is the climax. I will not give away too much, but a Sheriff would never allow that many civilians to be around a major takedown, and he would never allow the events to progress to that level before stepping in.

The dialogue proves to be very frustrating to read. Names are added awkwardly and unnecessarily to a lot of dialogue. “Okay, Alice”, “now, Alice” and “week, Bill” are just small bits to give a small example of how many times these characters say each other’s names. It’s almost as if the author wants to clarify who is speaking, but readers can easily decipher which character is speaking. Also, the dialogue does not further the plot at all, but it does seem to drag it down. It is often repetitive, and it provides explanations for things readers already know or should pick up on.

The characters in the book are not exactly complex. Each character spells out everything that he or she thinks. Bill explains every move he makes and why he makes it. Alice is the only character I felt any sympathy toward. Having her brother transform into someone unrecognizable, Alice feels lost and abandoned. It is easy to feel sorry for her, however, she does not really do anything in this book. While reading, I kept thinking she would make some big moves to save or stop her brother, but she just kind of becomes a background character with no real depth.

One good thing about the book is the editing. There are no apparent or glaring spelling or grammatical errors, but the book’s lack of errors does not really earn it much favor from me.

I give Sudden Darkness by L.R. Erdmann 2 out of 4 stars. I would give it 1 star, but I do recognize others many like the plot more than I, and the book has been well edited. However, the one-dimensional characters and frustrating dialogue do not allow me to give this book more than 2 stars.

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Sudden Darkness
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Like Jesska6029's review? Post a comment saying so!

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 14:33
by startrekcontinues
Thank You for your fair review of my book and it' story that I written. With this knowledge at hand, I will try to do better in the future.

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 14:41
by bettybug35
Great review! It's a shame the characters are not flushed out :/

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 14:45
by Jesska6029
bettybug35 wrote:Great review! It's a shame the characters are not flushed out :/
Thank you for posting and taking the time to read and review my review!

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 14:55
by startrekcontinues
Hi: I'm a new writer, and learning this career. I need to understand some of the terms used here. Can you give me a better explanation of, not flushed out. Thank You.

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 15:41
by Jesska6029
startrekcontinues wrote:Hi: I'm a new writer, and learning this career. I need to understand some of the terms used here. Can you give me a better explanation of, not flushed out. Thank You.
When I use the term "one-dimensional" or say not "flushed out", I mean that the characters do not grow. They are static characters.

Best of luck writing!

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 18:03
by startrekcontinues
Thank You for answering my question for me, it's been good to talk to you.

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 19:35
by bookowlie
Note to the author: the expression is "fleshed out" and it means either the characters don't grow (as Jesska mentioned) and/or that they are not well developed. "Fleshed out" is a figure of speech - think of it as fleshed out into a fully developed personality instead of a stick figure.

-- 06 Jun 2015, 20:39 --

Jesska, I enjoyed reading your insightful review! Good points about the awkward and repetitive dialogue. That can definitely drag down a story. It does seem like the premise of the story is interesting.

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 20:14
by startrekcontinues
Thanks for you review, I hope to grow with my new field of work, and I have much to learn here. I believe it is a good story just the same, as you said. In the future, with this information, I believe I will do better.

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 20:19
by Jesska6029
bookowlie wrote:Note to the author: the expression is "fleshed out" and it means either the characters don't grow (as Jesska mentioned) and/or that they are not well developed. "Fleshed out" is a figure of speech - think of it as fleshed out into a fully developed personality instead of a stick figure.

-- 06 Jun 2015, 20:39 --

Jesska, I enjoyed reading your insightful review! Good points about the awkward and repetitive dialogue. That can definitely drag down a story. It does seem like the premise of the story is interesting.
Thanks for the kind words and correcting my error!

-- 06 Jun 2015, 20:20 --
startrekcontinues wrote:Thanks for you review, I hope to grow with my new field of work, and I have much to learn here. I believe it is a good story just the same, as you said. In the future, with this information, I believe I will do better.

Thanks for posting here! I do hope you continue writing and honing your craft!

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 21:35
by bookowlie
Jesska6029 wrote:
bookowlie wrote:Note to the author: the expression is "fleshed out" and it means either the characters don't grow (as Jesska mentioned) and/or that they are not well developed. "Fleshed out" is a figure of speech - think of it as fleshed out into a fully developed personality instead of a stick figure.

-- 06 Jun 2015, 20:39 --

Jesska, I enjoyed reading your insightful review! Good points about the awkward and repetitive dialogue. That can definitely drag down a story. It does seem like the premise of the story is interesting.
Thanks for the kind words and correcting my error!

-- 06 Jun 2015, 20:20 --
startrekcontinues wrote:Thanks for you review, I hope to grow with my new field of work, and I have much to learn here. I believe it is a good story just the same, as you said. In the future, with this information, I believe I will do better.

Thanks for posting here! I do hope you continue writing and honing your craft!
Jesska - It wasn't an error at all! I just thought I would give the author some extra info as he seemed a little confused by the phrase.

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 22:03
by gali
Thank you for the nice review. It seems the book has a good potential.

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 22:09
by startrekcontinues
It's ok ---I understand now. I hope nobody gets upset with me. I just wanted to understand better. Please forgive me if I caused some misunderstanding with you all.

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 07 Jun 2015, 08:02
by Jesska6029
bookowlie wrote:
Jesska6029 wrote:
bookowlie wrote:Note to the author: the expression is "fleshed out" and it means either the characters don't grow (as Jesska mentioned) and/or that they are not well developed. "Fleshed out" is a figure of speech - think of it as fleshed out into a fully developed personality instead of a stick figure.

-- 06 Jun 2015, 20:39 --

Jesska, I enjoyed reading your insightful review! Good points about the awkward and repetitive dialogue. That can definitely drag down a story. It does seem like the premise of the story is interesting.
Thanks for the kind words and correcting my error!

-- 06 Jun 2015, 20:20 --
startrekcontinues wrote:Thanks for you review, I hope to grow with my new field of work, and I have much to learn here. I believe it is a good story just the same, as you said. In the future, with this information, I believe I will do better.

Thanks for posting here! I do hope you continue writing and honing your craft!
Jesska - It wasn't an error at all! I just thought I would give the author some extra info as he seemed a little confused by the phrase.
Completely understandable. Thanks for the assistance (I would have used "assist" as in a sporting game, but I don't know if that fits here, hahah)!

-- 07 Jun 2015, 08:04 --
gali wrote:Thank you for the nice review. It seems the book has a good potential.
Thank you! The book does have some potential.

-- 07 Jun 2015, 08:05 --
startrekcontinues wrote:It's ok ---I understand now. I hope nobody gets upset with me. I just wanted to understand better. Please forgive me if I caused some misunderstanding with you all.
No! You didn't cause any problems at all. I appreciate Bookowlie's assistance, and I hope we helped you in some way!

Re: Official Review: Sudden Darkness by L. R. Erdmann

Posted: 07 Jun 2015, 21:59
by zeldas_lullaby
Great review! To Star Trek, check out the writer's forum on here! Lots of useful advice! I found a thread for you about character building. :)

http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/viewtopic.php?t=14367