Official Review: Weaving Water by Ryhaan Shah
-
LadyErynn10
- Posts: 103
- Joined: 03 Feb 2014, 22:28
- Favorite Book: Harper Hall of Pern by Anne McCaffrey
- Bookshelf Size: 3
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-ladyerynn10.html
- Latest Review: "Beware the Well Fed Man" by Chris Capps
Official Review: Weaving Water by Ryhaan Shah
[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Weaving Water" by Ryhaan Shah.]
Share This Review
Weaving Water is a fictional story that spans several countries. It deals with Indian slaves in Africa, the friendships they form among themselves and other workers, and the political tension that eventually divides them from the African natives. The main story centers around three Indians; Rampat, his wife Parvati and their adoptive daughter Neela. Neela is a special child, and she and her family are forced to endure rumors and gossip about the girl and her origin. During the course of the story you discover the hardships that these indentured people faced and how they survived to make lives for themselves even in war-torn Africa.
The idea is a good one, but it was poorly executed. The story itself was a fairly easy read, however the grammar and phrasing left a lot to be desired. There were many repeated words and phrases that only served to confuse the reader. There were a few words that were extremely overused which cheapened the overall vocabulary of the story. The dialogue was flat and didn't do anything to propel the story forward. There wasn't a consistent time line, with the narrators bouncing between past, present and future without warning. The chapter breaks were in the middle of sentences, although that could have been the formatting of my computer. And the story itself was broken into four parts, each part with a different narrator. Neela was implied to be the main subject, but we never get to hear her side of the story. Each of the four parts read like a separate story, with the characters from the other parts making random and brief entrances. There wasn't a clear central theme, and the story tended to switch randomly between the themes that were present. Also, it was classified as science-fiction, but there was very little in the story that could be called science-fiction. I would have classified it as a general fiction novel.
However, there were some good points to the story. I enjoyed the brief insight into the different beliefs of the Indian people, and the overall story idea is an original one. The descriptions of life in the African village was well done, and the overall feeling of the story was fairly engaging.
My advice to the author is to tighten up the descriptive paragraphs and get rid of the extra words, making it a clean read. Also work on the dialogue and make it more believable and important. Dialogue is a powerful tool, and you can use it to make the story so much deeper.
Overall, I rate the book a 2 out of 4. I gave it such a low score for the reasons listed above, but I think the story has great potential if it's worked on and tightened up.
-----------------------------------
This is my first review, so any thoughts/comments/advice you have for me is welcome!
Erynn
***
Buy "Weaving Water" on Amazon
Buy "Weaving Water" on Barnes and Noble
Share This Review
The idea is a good one, but it was poorly executed. The story itself was a fairly easy read, however the grammar and phrasing left a lot to be desired. There were many repeated words and phrases that only served to confuse the reader. There were a few words that were extremely overused which cheapened the overall vocabulary of the story. The dialogue was flat and didn't do anything to propel the story forward. There wasn't a consistent time line, with the narrators bouncing between past, present and future without warning. The chapter breaks were in the middle of sentences, although that could have been the formatting of my computer. And the story itself was broken into four parts, each part with a different narrator. Neela was implied to be the main subject, but we never get to hear her side of the story. Each of the four parts read like a separate story, with the characters from the other parts making random and brief entrances. There wasn't a clear central theme, and the story tended to switch randomly between the themes that were present. Also, it was classified as science-fiction, but there was very little in the story that could be called science-fiction. I would have classified it as a general fiction novel.
However, there were some good points to the story. I enjoyed the brief insight into the different beliefs of the Indian people, and the overall story idea is an original one. The descriptions of life in the African village was well done, and the overall feeling of the story was fairly engaging.
My advice to the author is to tighten up the descriptive paragraphs and get rid of the extra words, making it a clean read. Also work on the dialogue and make it more believable and important. Dialogue is a powerful tool, and you can use it to make the story so much deeper.
Overall, I rate the book a 2 out of 4. I gave it such a low score for the reasons listed above, but I think the story has great potential if it's worked on and tightened up.
-----------------------------------
This is my first review, so any thoughts/comments/advice you have for me is welcome!
Erynn
***
Buy "Weaving Water" on Amazon
Buy "Weaving Water" on Barnes and Noble
"We have to fight for our place in this world. To be equal with a man, one must be so much better, so much more clever."- From the Silk Vendetta by Victoria Holt.
Latest Review: "Beware the Well Fed Man" by Chris Capps
