OnlineBookClub.org

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Banished A mysterious stranger" by Jamie Monks.]
Prince Komi did something he greatly regrets. He caused the deaths of fifty eight innocent people. He didn't mean it of course; he was only trying to discover a way to time-travel. Unfortunately he will have to pay the price for his mistake, which is death.

Fortunately, his father is King of the Harmony region, so he is able to overturn the law and instead Prince Komi is not sentenced to death, but merely banished to the planet Earth. Yes, that is because he is not a human, but a Mataian and is from the planet Matai.

So Prince Komi arrives on earth with only a gift from his father and some gold metal to aid him on his stay. He tries his best, along with his gift, The Computer, to adjust to this new planet. This is not very easy as he gets on the wrong side of the law almost immediately on his first day on earth. In addition, he also meets and begins an intense and loving relationship with his beautiful neighbour Nicky.

Unfortunately some of the Mataians, especially the families of those he killed are not happy with the way things turned out and the fact that the Prince escaped his death punishment, and they are determined to go after him and change that. They are spurred on by a certain Doctor Mozvile who has other evil intentions.

This novel is a sci-fi fantasy and spans many planets in this galaxy. It is the first part in the series Banished, the second part being Banished – The Hidden Power. The story-line is not too bad; I even found it a bit interesting although I am not usually fond of this genre. However, the main disappointment of the book is the atrocious grammar that is continued throughout the book. Many of the sentences start in the past tense and continue in the present tense and vice versa. The spelling is also problematic in some areas. The situations in the book are very choppy and do not flow into one another easily. Situations that are supposed to have occurred over several weeks seem to happen within a few days.

Although the storyline was creative and imaginative, the lack of basic grammar rules made me cringe and made the novel quite an uncomfortable mission to read. For this reason I am giving this novel one out of four stars.

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That's exactly the review I had expected really. Writing is one of my hobbies that I will be doing in my spare time. I'm working on book 2 followed by book 3 and I even see a book 4 with many ideas of the conclusion. The actual story is what I wanted reviewed and not my grammar, although its so apparent I know. I would need to pay an editor to fix the many mistakes that I have made throughout of the book. I thank you greatly for taking the time to review my book.

I think if the grammar were fixed it would have been a much more pleasurable read. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

That's nice to know that my book could be better. The problem I have is my grammar which I'm sure I cant improve to much. I'm writing the second book now. The question is do I want to pay 1000pound for help or not. It is something I will think about while i write the next 2 parts. Thanks all the same.

I think if you invested in improving grammar it would help a lot because many people judge an author harshly on these mistakes.