Review by Mailis -- Fish Wielder by J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison
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Review by Mailis -- Fish Wielder by J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison

4 out of 4 stars
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Thoral Mighty Fist is an incredibly powerful hero who has the beauty of Chippendales dancer (imagine sweat-glistening muscles rippling under pirate style clothing, mane of luscious tawny locks blowing in the soft breeze, unnaturally straight and luminous white teeth and piercing violet eyes) and combined attitude of every old-school Die Hard style action hero out there, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Jean Claude van Damme, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, all mixed and matched.
He has a trusted sidekick, talking and walking koi fish named Bradford, who has his own mighty finsts (it’s not a typo, think about it, it will come to you), who stands by Thoral (or on him, to be exact) when they travel the versatile countryside of Grome looking for adventures, excitement and certain death (to punch it in the teeth).
Our companions find themselves accidentally allied with Elfrod from Widendale, the secret valley where the fashionable elves live, his gorgeously foxy but slightly troublesome daughter Nalweegie and their host of elf warriors.
They all have an impossible mission ahead of them, to reach the Great Pudding of Power that was hidden after the fall of Lord Mauron, the abominable scoundrel who needed it to sustain his power whilst wearing the foul bangle- Bracelet of Evil.
They encounter assassins, hideous monsters by the bulk, charming flying squirrel who has unfortunately been forced to be an evil creature servant by the Heartless One (who is famously nasty piece of work and likes ripping out nipples as a mild form of punishment, especially the left ones) and other hideous minions of the great and secretive evildoers of the world.
The strange land is also full of uncanny artefacts, things of dazzling and puzzling nature, that almost always have extraordinary and satisfyingly weird hidden powers. It is also full of pudding of every imaginable kind. Evil pudding, healing pudding, regenerating limbs pudding, strength pudding, night vision pudding, sharp hearing pudding and even pudding of immortality. That pudding list is endless. If you can think of it, it will probably exist somewhere out there, waiting to be consumed.
I don’t want to give away any specific details from Fish Wielder because part of the charm is the fact that you never know what’s coming next and who might be lurking behind the nearest corner with completely fabulous evil intentions (and it’s of course written in review rules that anyone who publishes any spoilers, can and will be prosecuted, more or less, you know ). I will tell you this though, don’t consume any beverages or liquid food during the reading of this book, because when you suddenly snort-laugh, it WILL come out through your nose and especially if it’s a fizzy drink, it WILL hurt.
Now if you have been out there, moping around, looking for a humorous read that lets you take a break from all the overly serious drama (e.g. evening news), fictional or otherwise, this multi-coloured sparkly gem of a book is just the right thing for you. It will be loved by kids, teenagers, grown-ups, and universally by almost everyone who has a sense of humour that leans toward the absurd and slightly silly.
I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars because whereas some parodies overdo it, become tedious, obnoxiously repetitive and transparent in their ambition to conjure some laughs, this was well written, funny fantasy, pleasantly unpredictable and witty. This book belongs on the bookshelf of timeless fun reads and can boldly stand there next to books by Terry Pratchett, Jim C. Hines and Adam Roberts.
******
Fish Wielder
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