Review by cosmographist69 -- Fish Wielder
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Review by cosmographist69 -- Fish Wielder

4 out of 4 stars
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Fish Wielder is the first novel by J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison published by Fiery Seas Publishing and is a satirical hero/adventure story involving the mighty barbarian-esque protagonist, Thoral, as he trespasses the land of Grome on his magical quests. The reader is invited into the story as everyday events that surround the Old-English speaking warrior, as he is seated in his usual haunt- the swarthy, menacing mercenary infested Inn of the Gruesomely Gashed Gnome - are suddenly thrashed into disarray due to the sign of The Fatal Pink Comet, prophesying that the time was now right for the mysterious Evil One to recover the lost Pudding of Power. What follows is a series of episodes, leading the hero and his coterie through not-so-perilous adventures to defend the land of Grome.
What the unwitting reader soon discovers of the author, as he or she stumbles into the mystical land of Grome, is that this particular J.R.R.R. immediately distinguishes himself from all other fantasy authors by taking the skeleton of a standard adventure heroic tale and adding in an elaborate CNS and organ system of silliness, self-aware jokes and comedic twists in sagacious reference to classic archetypical adventure tales at large.
The most apparent silliness commences with the very cast itself. Thoral Mighty Fist is a violet eyed, tall, masculine, muscular and handsome, albeit morose and somewhat dark and brooding hero with a magical sword called Blurmflard, who bests foes easily and never suffers a wound for more than a paragraph's time. Brad, the koi fish, is Thoral's close companion and thoroughly constitutes the sidekick character, contrasting starkly from his barbarian leader, with his constant nitpicking and verbal eyerolling. Nalweegie, the Evening Snack is a beautiful princess, enchanted, young and utterly devoted to Thoral's masculinity. Even the narrator is a character, sweeping in, constantly trying to sell the reader on continuing to the next page, swearing that there are serious stakes at risk and not cliché action twists à la comic book cliffhangers.
Amidst the landscapes of Grome including, the kingdom of Splerph, the dread land of Flurge, the dark land of Blern battle of Sklounge Glaring, comedic LOTR allusions are thrown into the mix such as the Black Riders of the Dark Lord, Mauron - The foreboding co-creator of the Bracelet of Evil. Another cheap one worth sharing is where the enchanted Evening Snack's magical elf father, Elfrod Windendale king of the elves and keeper of the box of power, delivers the heavily memed, “One does not simply walk into Flurge,” to his young kin.
Indeed the brooding, impervious Conan-esque, Thoral is seemingly, helplessly stuck in a circular narrative much like Yossarian in Catch 22 and the hopelessness is only worsened by the other characters who perpetually egg him on through his Sisyphean adventure. But it is worth mentioning that it is nowhere near as dry as Heller's story and is perpetually invaded by utterly unexpected out of frame gags. The only thing missing here is an alien invasion!
Personally, this narrative is almost seamless in its delivery and fluidity in both its story structure and development and leaves eager, editor-types perched anxiously to find some chink in the metaphorical mithril chain-links that constitute it - and ultimately let down in their endeavor. The one caveat I found is that there is no comedic middle-earth-esque map included.
There are no real let downs in the story, but if you are not a fan of one trick ponies or one-track mind humor, this isn't the book for you. Fish Wielder is undeniably the product of a well-versed enthusiast of classic comics along the lines of those included in Heavy Metal magazines and knock off Tolkien novels from bygone days. I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars. Hardison unforgivingly and elaborately concocts and satirically batters the reader with a myriad of regurgitated adventure story clichés, devoted to delivering a steady paced chain of jabs from beginning to end and in almost every sentence.
******
Fish Wielder
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