Review by Helen_Combe -- Fish Wielder
- Helen_Combe
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Review by Helen_Combe -- Fish Wielder

4 out of 4 stars
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Fish Wielder by J.R.R.R (Jim) Hardison is an excellent, laugh out loud romp, which follows the adventures of Thoral Mighty Fist, Thoral to his friends, Fist Wielder to his acquaintances, and Fish Wielder for reasons that become clear later in the book. He is accompanied by his old friend, Bradfast, Brad to his friends and Evil Fish to his enemies, because he is in fact a twelve inch long, air breathing, walking, talking, orange koi carp. Brad is the brains of the outfit while the handsome, fastidiously clean, chiselled, sword (and fist) wielding Thoral, is most definitely the muscle.
The book cover suggests that it may be a pastiche of Terry Pratchett, as it is reminiscent of the original, joyous artwork of the Discworld novels, before they went dark and pretentious. The author’s name suggests that it will be a parody of The Lord Of The Rings, and that is basically what it is, but with so much more added. Thoral must surely be based on Conan the Barbarian (and/or Pratchett’s Hrun the Barbarian) and the ale house where he likes to drink is evocative of Pratchett’s infamous Mended Drum pub. However, that’s where the likeness to Pratchett ends as Hardison has, most decidedly, a style all his own.
The book opens elegantly with the line, ‘it was the anniversary of something bad’. In just seven words, the reader immediately knows why Thoral is drinking himself into oblivion, without having to be inconvenienced by any of that tedious backstory malarkey. Brad persuades him that what he needs is another adventure, and succeeds by hinting that Thoral may die, which fits in with his black mood, and so stirs him to action. Thoral unties his faithful, tiger striped stallion, Warlordhorse, who can’t talk, yet somehow manages to be included in most conversations; buckles on his magical sword, Blurmflard, and accidentally kills three brothers of the Bad Religion who were about to jump him. Another elegant summary, it’s a bad religion, what more do you need to know?
What follows is, at first, your standard, ‘Hero kills the bad men (sometimes repeatedly) and rescues the scantily clad elf maiden, who immediately falls passionately in love with him’ formula. It even includes a visit to the elf city of Windendale, but you can’t fool me, J.R.R.R (Jim) Hardison, I know Rivendell when I see it, complete with all its alabaster courts and annoying wind chimes. When I say ‘standard formula’, I’m talking about the overall story arc, not the content, which is a hilarious collection of ridiculous situations and equally ridiculous escapes, accompanied by priceless banter, witty remarks and humorous asides.
Halfway through, the story starts to throw some serious curves of the ‘Lawks, I didn’t see THAT coming!’ variety, and it then quickly moves into the ‘Darn, I should have known!’ assortment, and finally delivers a conclusion that took me completely by surprise.
Though the subject of this book may seem frivolous, there is no doubt that Hardison is a very skilled wordsmith. His characters play with language and sometimes argue comically over semantics at the most inappropriate times. While I flatter myself that I have a pretty good vocabulary, this book had me reaching for my dictionary on more than one occasion. In fact it has now expanded to include ‘thews’, ‘ixnay’, ‘ageusic’, anosmic’, ‘Occam’s razor’, and my absolute favourite, ‘boondoggle’.
I have no criticisms of the book other than there seemed to be a problem with the version that I downloaded onto ePub. Some pages were duplicated and on one occasion, there were two consecutive blank pages.
What I particularly liked about the book was that there were very few magical shortcuts. One criticism I have of Tolkien, is that when his characters get into trouble, they are often extricated by a serendipitous deus ex machina, such as the sudden arrival of a wizard, or a woodland deity. In Hardison’s book, any magic that is used will have been foreshadowed, will not be as expected or can’t be used at all because they can’t remember the magic word. For the most part, the characters get themselves out of their predicaments under their own steam.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and am pleased to rate it 4 out of 4 stars.
******
Fish Wielder
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Yes, I totally agree about Tolkien being overwritten, he doesn’t leave anything to the reader’s imagination.
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- Helen_Combe
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Thank you, I hope you enjoy it if you do.Eryn Bradshaw wrote: ↑05 Apr 2018, 07:58 This book sounds hilarious! I may have to pick it up and have a read. Thank you for the fantastic review!
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Thank you for the comprehensive review! I came across this book, but was in fact wondering if I should pick it up or not. But the paragraph above sealed it for me - I love it when characters are strong enough to get through the obstacles on their own, since it is always disappointing when the author utilises this particular device to round up their story. (:Helen_Combe wrote: ↑13 Mar 2018, 15:44
What I particularly liked about the book was that there were very few magical shortcuts. One criticism I have of Tolkien, is that when his characters get into trouble, they are often extricated by a serendipitous deus ex machina, such as the sudden arrival of a wizard, or a woodland deity. In Hardison’s book, any magic that is used will have been foreshadowed, will not be as expected or can’t be used at all because they can’t remember the magic word. For the most part, the characters get themselves out of their predicaments under their own steam.
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I hope you enjoy it.LaurenHaupt wrote: ↑06 Oct 2018, 22:09 I've never read a funny parody before. I think I'll try it. Thank you!