A socially anxious newbie puts exposure therapy to the test

[SeasonalBuddy]

I am so glad you chose to act on your fear and post amyway. My fears are the exact opposite. Socially inept physically but great expressing myself online.

Recently, I decided to start approaching businesses for my start and just the thought would get me hyperventilating.

Now, I do atleast one new person each week. I feel more confident with each meeting i do. It feels so good i wamt to do it over ans over, but with moderation. Haha

[mondegreen]

I totally relate to how you're feeling! I too am always hesitant to participate in conversations, even online, even when I may have something helpful to add. Exposure therapy is a great idea; I think it helps with being comfortable just existing. I recently watched a TedTalk about something called the 100 Days of Rejection, where the aim is to do something every day that will intentionally lead to rejection (ex. ask a stranger to borrow $100). This activity seems like a form of exposure therapy for people who fear rejection and I thought I'd share. :)

[jardenjarden]

I honestly really enjoyed this book. One idea I really liked was the synchronization of breath to music. I think that this is definitely something I will be willing to try. Congratulations on taking the leap to post! I too tend to get extremely nervous around people, even in an online setting. I started to face my fear of talking to strangers through VR chat, where I would just have casual conversations with strangers.

Man, it was totally nerve-wracking! But it really helped me to start to feel a little bit more comfortable in more social settings. It's interesting how having a casual discussion with strangers you've never met before can help boost your confidence and help reduce those stresses (at least a little bit).

[TCG]

There are ways of implementing the principles given by this book. It gave natural ways and otherwise. We can help ourselves by picking up those solutions that best suit our problems.

[Howlan]

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> Anna Dougherty wrote:
> > You are so brave for making this topic! I know how simple it can seem to
> > other people, but putting yourself out there online and not knowing how or
> > if people are going to respond is very scary and challenging for some.
>
> This is very true. Especially in the contemporary world where social media has
> reduced us to comments, followers, and trends.

Considering the fact that nowadays the internet is really scary with all the comments and DMs. So you should take one step at a time and slowly raise your comfort level.

[Howlan]

Kelyn wrote:
> Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> > I'm a fitness enthusiast, so exercising works best for me, it's also
> > recommended in this book. I will keep stacking up my cycling miles and
> > pushups done in a day. I'd advise you to spend at least 20 minutes every
> > morning to remind yourself of how unique you are, how blessed you are, and
> > what you can do to be better on that day. Later in the evening, just before
> > you sleep, sit on your bed, take 10 minutes, and reflect on how the day
> > went. After a few days, you'll notice a great improvement in your
> > confidence and self-esteem. I wish you all the best.
>
> Aside from not being a fitness enthusiast myself, I love this idea. Morning
> 'reminders' are almost like giving yourself a 'pep-talk' to begin the day. Evening
> reflection helps one see how successful the day was and will help in forming your
> 'pep-talk' the next morning! Exceptionally practical and practicable routines to help
> ease stress and anxiety felt throughout the day! I'm so glad I saw this post!

Also, writing in your feelings down can really help you get a better perspective of yourself and increases your confidence. It also helps you face your emotions and helps you get an overall hold of yourself.

[Howlan]

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> Kelyn wrote:
> > Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> > > I'm a fitness enthusiast, so exercising works best for me, it's also
> > > recommended in this book. I will keep stacking up my cycling miles and
> > > pushups done in a day. I'd advise you to spend at least 20 minutes every
> > > morning to remind yourself of how unique you are, how blessed you are, and
> > > what you can do to be better on that day. Later in the evening, just before
> > > you sleep, sit on your bed, take 10 minutes, and reflect on how the day
> > > went. After a few days, you'll notice a great improvement in your
> > > confidence and self-esteem. I wish you all the best.
> >
> > Aside from not being a fitness enthusiast myself, I love this idea. Morning
> > 'reminders' are almost like giving yourself a 'pep-talk' to begin the day.
> Evening
> > reflection helps one see how successful the day was and will help in forming
> your
> > 'pep-talk' the next morning! Exceptionally practical and practicable routines to
> help
> > ease stress and anxiety felt throughout the day! I'm so glad I saw this post!
>
> I'm glad it was helpful. It all begins with a minute then a day, and you form a
> positive habit. Remember the point is incrementing gradually and improving
> consistently.

Keep up the practice! It is essential to understand the feeling of confidence you get from the progress you make each day and gain lessons from the reasons you were not able to move forward.

[djr6090]

I tried Karaoke for exposure therapy. It started out scary and ended up being loads of fun. So keep posting. We're not so scary after a while.

[Samantha Gayle]

Welcome! So good to meet you! I am proud that you have not only responded in the forums but created a thread! You are awesome, and I know what it is like to expose yourself. You should be happy with your progress, no matter the size, and just keep at it!! The best advice is to keep on trying new techniques and find what works best for you. The fact that you are aware of your challenges gives you the control you need to master whatever comes your way! This community is here to support you, so this is a perfect place to experiment!! You rock!!

[Nzube Chizoba Okeke]

AntonelaMaria wrote:
> Amazing job on putting yourself out there and facing your fears. Bravo! I
> hope that others will be inspired with you.
> I wouldn't say that this book brought anything new to my life but mainly
> because I did read a lot on these subjects. But it sums up a lot of things
> pretty nicely so I think it can be very useful. I like breathing exercises.
> They have been very helpful when I feel overwhelmed.

Breathing exercise works for me too. Sometimes, I try to count backwards. Putting yourself out there and facing your fears helps. It worked for me. At some point, you'd realize that the fear is gone. You've done amazingly well!

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

Zee_Zee wrote:
> AntonelaMaria wrote:
> > Amazing job on putting yourself out there and facing your fears. Bravo! I
> > hope that others will be inspired with you.
> > I wouldn't say that this book brought anything new to my life but mainly
> > because I did read a lot on these subjects. But it sums up a lot of things
> > pretty nicely so I think it can be very useful. I like breathing exercises.
> > They have been very helpful when I feel overwhelmed.
>
> Breathing exercise works for me too. Sometimes, I try to count backwards. Putting
> yourself out there and facing your fears helps. It worked for me. At some point,
> you'd realize that the fear is gone. You've done amazingly well!

I agree with you. I've also noticed that when you break from your cocoon of self-talk and seek assistance from friends and relatives, the burden becomes lighter.

[Awesomeliker]

I really admire you for your courage. I know what it's like being socially anxious so this must have taken a lot of courage to post!
I will support you through your journey in reviewing books XD

[rahilshajahan]

Kudos on posting in the forum! I commend your brave step of coming outside your safe zone. If you are socially anxious, its best for you to join a Toastmasters club or any club for that matter. Taking initiative is key in facing one's anxiety.

[Mukukamm30]

You are welcome. With time you will get used to the platform and you will be posting without getting anxious.
I think the book provides a lot of practical methods for fighting anxiety and stress which range from exercising and meditation to many other methods you may deem fit. But I think what is more important is to be able to acknowledge that you are suffering from anxiety because that's the beginning of the healing process.

[FS60]

cluthrie wrote:
> Topic for forum:
> A socially anxious newbie puts exposure therapy to the test
>
> Sometimes I have trouble managing my social anxiety, which is even a
> problem for me on anonymous online forums such as this. I get so nervous!
> So.... let's be practical! I'm scared but I'm posting in any case!
>
> As a new member, I am nervous of putting myself out there on this site. I
> am SO GLAD this book was chosen as the book of the month. Topical, helpful
> for us ALL during this stressful and unprecedented time on earth during
> this global pandemic. This post serves as exposure therapy to me!
>
> I invite all of my fellows who are anxious to participate in the forums to
> give it a go and POST! As the book of the month suggests, confrontong our
> fears can be rather freeing, no?
>
> What do you guys think of the methods in this book? Are there any ways you
> plan to implement the advice in your own life?
>
> And, do you have any advice for me as an anxious newbie in the forums?
>
> I hope to hear from some of you in the comments! I'll leave you with my
> favorite quote from the book:
>
> "Yоu are rеѕроnѕiblе fоr уоur lifе аѕ it iѕ nоw аnd, whеn уоu саn
> ассерt thаt rеѕроnѕibilitу, уоu саn ассерt thе rеѕроnѕibilitу оf соrrесting
> соurѕе аnd dirесting your life along the path that you dеѕirе."

No. I don't face social anxiety but I feel empathy for those who face this situation. This is really very delicate issue. Some people begin to tremble due to social anxiety.