A socially anxious newbie puts exposure therapy to the test

Use this forum to discuss the August 2020 Book of the month, " Natural Relief for Anxiety and Stress: A Practical Guide" by Gustavo Kinrys, MD.
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cluthrie
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A socially anxious newbie puts exposure therapy to the test

Post by cluthrie »

Topic for forum:
A socially anxious newbie puts exposure therapy to the test

Sometimes I have trouble managing my social anxiety, which is even a problem for me on anonymous online forums such as this. I get so nervous! So.... let's be practical! I'm scared but I'm posting in any case!

As a new member, I am nervous of putting myself out there on this site. I am SO GLAD this book was chosen as the book of the month. Topical, helpful for us ALL during this stressful and unprecedented time on earth during this global pandemic. This post serves as exposure therapy to me!

I invite all of my fellows who are anxious to participate in the forums to give it a go and POST! As the book of the month suggests, confrontong our fears can be rather freeing, no?

What do you guys think of the methods in this book? Are there any ways you plan to implement the advice in your own life?

And, do you have any advice for me as an anxious newbie in the forums?

I hope to hear from some of you in the comments! I'll leave you with my favorite quote from the book:

"Yоu are rеѕроnѕiblе fоr уоur lifе аѕ it iѕ nоw аnd, whеn уоu саn ассерt thаt rеѕроnѕibilitу, уоu саn ассерt thе rеѕроnѕibilitу оf соrrесting соurѕе аnd dirесting your life along the path that you dеѕirе."
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Post by Howlan »

As far as the book goes stress management is really great advice in this book. Knowing what causes stress and countering the problem is great way to handle anxiety and helps you move forward. In today's situation to stress management is critical and essential to get rid of the negative thoughts and putting in your best every day.
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Post by Dominik_G »

First of all, congratulations on facing your fear of social interaction, and posting anyway!

In my opinion, the book does offer lots of methods and techniques which are at least worth a try. I generally find meditation and exercising to be the most useful tools when fighting anxiety but I have to admit, I don't practice either of them as often as I feel like I should. Reading this book gave me a push in this regard.

As for the advice, I think you're already doing the best you can do: you're present and actively making yourself participate in social interactions. I do believe the more you do it, the easier it'll get. Starting it here, discussing exactly the topic of anxiety seems like an ideal, safe first step.
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Post by Joseph_ngaruiya »

I'm a fitness enthusiast, so exercising works best for me, it's also recommended in this book. I will keep stacking up my cycling miles and pushups done in a day. I'd advise you to spend at least 20 minutes every morning to remind yourself of how unique you are, how blessed you are, and what you can do to be better on that day. Later in the evening, just before you sleep, sit on your bed, take 10 minutes, and reflect on how the day went. After a few days, you'll notice a great improvement in your confidence and self-esteem. I wish you all the best.
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Post by AntonelaMaria »

Amazing job on putting yourself out there and facing your fears. Bravo! I hope that others will be inspired with you.
I wouldn't say that this book brought anything new to my life but mainly because I did read a lot on these subjects. But it sums up a lot of things pretty nicely so I think it can be very useful. I like breathing exercises. They have been very helpful when I feel overwhelmed.
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Post by Anna Dougherty »

You are so brave for making this topic! I know how simple it can seem to other people, but putting yourself out there online and not knowing how or if people are going to respond is very scary and challenging for some.
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Post by Kola+wole »

cluthrie wrote:
> Topic for forum:
> A socially anxious newbie puts exposure therapy to the test
>
> Sometimes I have trouble managing my social anxiety, which is even a
> problem for me on anonymous online forums such as this. I get so nervous!
> So.... let's be practical! I'm scared but I'm posting in any case!
>
> As a new member, I am nervous of putting myself out there on this site. I
> am SO GLAD this book was chosen as the book of the month. Topical, helpful
> for us ALL during this stressful and unprecedented time on earth during
> this global pandemic. This post serves as exposure therapy to me!
>
> I invite all of my fellows who are anxious to participate in the forums to
> give it a go and POST! As the book of the month suggests, confrontong our
> fears can be rather freeing, no?
>
> What do you guys think of the methods in this book? Are there any ways you
> plan to implement the advice in your own life?
>
> And, do you have any advice for me as an anxious newbie in the forums?
>
> I hope to hear from some of you in the comments! I'll leave you with my
> favorite quote from the book:
>
> "Yоu are rеѕроnѕiblе fоr уоur lifе аѕ it iѕ nоw аnd, whеn уоu саn
> ассерt thаt rеѕроnѕibilitу, уоu саn ассерt thе rеѕроnѕibilitу оf соrrесting
> соurѕе аnd dirесting your life along the path that you dеѕirе."

I find it amazing that you are able to take practical steps on the suggestions written in the book. I also love the fact that your favourite quote is about taking responsibility for you life. It shows that you're willing to do what is best for yourself. Keep on being phenomenal.
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Post by Nerea »

Wow. That's a bold move. Expressing yourself is one of the first steps of healing. And true we are all responsible for our life. The ideas and suggestions I found practical from the book, and that I can do on my own when managing stress are observing my diet, taking a break and rest a bit and doing exercises. Though one may still experience episodes of stress and anxiety even after applying the ideas, the best part is that the tips help to lessen the severity that may result from an uncontrolled anxiety or stress disorder. About your social anxiety issue, maybe you can ask yourself these questions; what is it that makes you become socially anxious? Is it something a friend can help you overcome? Are you scared of negative responses to your posts? Feel free to ask for help because a problem shared is halfway solved.
No Wahala
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Post by djr6090 »

My advice is to live in the day. Projecting failure is a sure road to stress. And your decision to 'put ourself out there' is a step in the right direction. Congrats.
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Post by shannonkate8 »

Howlan wrote:
> As far as the book goes stress management is really great advice in this
> book. Knowing what causes stress and countering the problem is great way to
> handle anxiety and helps you move forward. In today's situation to stress
> management is critical and essential to get rid of the negative thoughts
> and putting in your best every day.

I agree.
The first place to start is acknowledging you have an issue and then identifying your "triggers." Of course, then you have to learn to make a conscious effort to change things and move forward.
As one anxious person to another - Good luck!
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Joseph_ngaruiya
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Post by Joseph_ngaruiya »

Anna Dougherty wrote:
> You are so brave for making this topic! I know how simple it can seem to
> other people, but putting yourself out there online and not knowing how or
> if people are going to respond is very scary and challenging for some.

This is very true. Especially in the contemporary world where social media has reduced us to comments, followers, and trends.
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Post by Laila_Hashem »

Welcome! Don't worry at all. I have found this to be a very open community where everyone and their opinions are welcome. I think many, if not all, of the remedies mentioned in the book can be implemented in our lives, but, of course, it depends on everyone's conditions and their access to resources. The book worked wonders for me, though, especially during this time.
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Post by Lisa A Rayburn »

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> I'm a fitness enthusiast, so exercising works best for me, it's also
> recommended in this book. I will keep stacking up my cycling miles and
> pushups done in a day. I'd advise you to spend at least 20 minutes every
> morning to remind yourself of how unique you are, how blessed you are, and
> what you can do to be better on that day. Later in the evening, just before
> you sleep, sit on your bed, take 10 minutes, and reflect on how the day
> went. After a few days, you'll notice a great improvement in your
> confidence and self-esteem. I wish you all the best.

Aside from not being a fitness enthusiast myself, I love this idea. Morning 'reminders' are almost like giving yourself a 'pep-talk' to begin the day. Evening reflection helps one see how successful the day was and will help in forming your 'pep-talk' the next morning! Exceptionally practical and practicable routines to help ease stress and anxiety felt throughout the day! I'm so glad I saw this post!
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Post by Joseph_ngaruiya »

Kelyn wrote:
> Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> > I'm a fitness enthusiast, so exercising works best for me, it's also
> > recommended in this book. I will keep stacking up my cycling miles and
> > pushups done in a day. I'd advise you to spend at least 20 minutes every
> > morning to remind yourself of how unique you are, how blessed you are, and
> > what you can do to be better on that day. Later in the evening, just before
> > you sleep, sit on your bed, take 10 minutes, and reflect on how the day
> > went. After a few days, you'll notice a great improvement in your
> > confidence and self-esteem. I wish you all the best.
>
> Aside from not being a fitness enthusiast myself, I love this idea. Morning
> 'reminders' are almost like giving yourself a 'pep-talk' to begin the day. Evening
> reflection helps one see how successful the day was and will help in forming your
> 'pep-talk' the next morning! Exceptionally practical and practicable routines to help
> ease stress and anxiety felt throughout the day! I'm so glad I saw this post!

I'm glad it was helpful. It all begins with a minute then a day, and you form a positive habit. Remember the point is incrementing gradually and improving consistently.
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mpsmaster
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Post by mpsmaster »

Beautful! Congratulations for your iniciative! I plan to run as a stress lelief method as well as take more responsability for my life as suggested in the book. For you I think the way now is progressive baby steps facing your fears. Try post a picture of you now, take a step at a time where you fell safe to share your thoughts while feel confortable out of complete unknown.
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