How early does it start?

[JGretz-7]

joenduga12 wrote:
> To me children have ways to relief their anxieties supposedly different
> from the ways adults do. These greatly depends on the facts that their
> level of anxieties and worries are lower, as well as their basis for having
> them. By and large, what they need from their parent or guidance is an
> assurance and never a dismissal.

I disagree, children are not old enough to discern stress and anxiety. Parents have a role to guide and take their kids to a doctor when they realize they have a problem. If children will only receive assurance from their parents, they may end up growing without the moral mettle required to face the real world out there. Dismissal, or in a better word, correction, is granted for actions or behaviors that parents deem wrong.

I think that Joseph meant "assurance" in the sense that the feelings that the child is having are valid or real for that child. You can't dismiss them and say that it's silly to feel that way, get over it. Acknowledging what they are feeling and then helping them to deal with that feeling would be appropriate. If that's above the parents' ability, then seeking outside or professional help should be the next course of action. What stresses out a child or creates anxiety may not be the same as what creates stress or anxiety for an adult, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist for them.

[Chigo Nwagboso]

Yes, I believe children also undergoe on stress or the other. When a child is finding a particular subject difficult, it affects the child's esteem and outs him into stress. There are correctable measures too for children in this book.

[Lisa A Rayburn]

Growing up I was taught to never show any emotion of any kind. As a result, starting at the young age of 5, I began to experience anxiety whenever I felt any emotion. For years, I looked toward music and art to express those trapped emotions and ease that anxiety. As an adult, I still struggle with the idea that it is perfectly normal to show emotion. It is extremely important to express to children that feelings of any kind, but especially ones such as anxiety and stress, are normal and need to be expressed. The children should then be shown productive and healthy ways in order to express that anxiety. I have not had the pleasure to read this book yet because I am a new member. I take from the review that the book takes one through natural ways and techniques to relieve anxiety. It sounds like a wonderful resource that I hope can help anyone who reads it.

I'm so sorry you went through that, and understand how that would still affect you as an adult. Having music and art in your life must have helped and, in fact, would be a good resource for any child experiencing similar circumstances. I agree completely that showing children that they are heard and helping them learn that it's okay to express emotion, especially sadness and anxiety, is vital to the child's mental health. Teaching them techniques such as the ones introduced in the book is an excellent way to help get through to them on this fact. It makes it feel acceptable and accepted if the adults in their lives are taking it seriously. Thank you so much for the courage it took to share that with us.

[Lisa A Rayburn]

Most of the practices mentioned in the book may also be applicable to children. Some tweaking may be needed to make them age-appropriate and suitable to their capacity to understand. Starting at an early age will help kids in developing habits leading to a balanced and healthy lifestyle, which is stress, and worry-free.

Children do have stress and anxiety and although it may seem trivial to us, for them it is very real. I believe that parents have a great responsibility to teach children to talk about their fears and how to deal with it.

These practices can also help children dealing with anxiety and stress. However, I have rarely seen any children who is suffering from anxiety and stress.The remedies discussed in the book can be used by anyone.

Well, obviously how children relieve stress is different from how an adult relieves stress. Children can play out there worries which is not always in the case in adult. But still I think parent can also provide guidance as regards to this.

I agree that teaching children coping techniques starting at an early age is vital and that some of the techniques in the book can easily be used with a bit of tweaking. Parents/guardians are where this has to start, as they are most often the adults the child is most comfortable talking to about their stresses. As a former special education and ED (emotionally disabled) teacher, I have seen many children who have great stresses and anxieties in their lives from a multitude of different factors. Yes, in the short term, children can 'play out their worries.' Unfortunately, those anxieties creep back in once play is done. Teaching the child coping techniques such as the ones Kinrys suggest will help them learn to deal with those anxieties and fears.

Thanks to all of you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us!

Hopefully, if these things are done, the child will, indeed, grow up to lead a positive lifestyle.

[Spani]

As early as birth. Kids get affected even when toddlers. it would gelp for a parent to identify the various ways their child copes with stress around them and help them with that. The dismissive attitude really isn't good.

[Palfree]

i think anxiety and stress can start very young. I worked in a preschool as a teenager. I know that certain kids would get very upset if the picture they drew didn't turn out exactly the way they wanted it to. Kids that want to do everything perfectly seem to have more stress earlier in life.

[winecellarlibrary]

I agree that children's anxiety is often overlooked and even dismissed by adults. First, children experience different symptoms than adults do, such as stomachaches, so their parents and even their doctors may not acknowledge that their symptoms are stemming from anxiety. Second, female children are diagnosed to a far lesser degree than male children. There is a big difference in symptoms between the genders, and women are largely dismissed regarding their symptoms in both mental health and physical ailments. This begins in childhood and leads to these girls growing up without the tools they need to manage their symptoms.

That's why reading a book like this one is so important, even if you do not have anxiety.

[Suzer6440 xyz]

I definitely think it is something that we do not know how to control when being at a younger age. However, as we grow into adults , we become different people and have to learn (for example by reading this book) different strategies to learn and deal with stress and anxiety

[Lisa A Rayburn]

Yes, anxiety can creep in early. However, I don't think that anxiety that bothers adults is a build-up of the ones from childhood. Children tend to believe things religiously(including the tales we tell them to dispel their fears) and their subconscious will dismiss their fears for real. So, anxiety can creep in early but I don't think it can harm children
because people usually overcome their childhood fears except they didn't have anybody to help tell them the "tales"

Interesting point of view. Thinking about it, I agree that using 'tales' targeted to address specific problems can help children learn to dispel their fears. However, I don't think that tales, in and of themselves, will simply dismiss the fears from the child's subconscious. I think it goes deeper than that. You're right that anxiety can creep in early, but I have to respectfully disagree when you say that it can't harm children. If a child is not taught methods (such as the ones in the book) of dealing with these fears and anxieties, they can become overwhelming and even ingrained in the child's psyche, especially to very sensitive and emotional children. Parents/guardians are responsible for helping a child learn how to handle their anxieties so that even if they do follow the child into adulthood, he/she will have the tools needed to handle them.

[Ogbara]

I think what would really help children deal with stress is been able to share their feelings and get solutions to things disturbing them, having someone to talk to would be a very big help to them.

[Iconicsmt]

I’ve struggled with anxiety all my life, beginning with my first panic attack on the preschool playground at age 4. I was in and out of doctors’ offices for stomach and chest pains throughout my childhood and teen years, but no cause could be found because no one, including myself, ever correlated the issues with my worries regarding school, both social and academic in nature. Growing up with it, I don’t think I necessarily internalized the discomfort — it was something that was a part of me, and I’ve simply never known a time when I was 100% happy and calm. Looking back, untreated anxiety clouded so many aspects of my youth that I wonder how many ways my life would be easier now in adulthood if someone had even just acknowledged that stress could be the problem. The idea that kids are all naturally carefree and have no problems has always seemed ridiculous to me because of my experiences. Everyone is different, no matter how young you are, therefore everyone responds to different triggers and coping mechanisms. I know if someone had at least said that anxiety could be the core of these other health/pain problems and that there might be a few things I can do to ease it a bit, I would’ve tried anything.

[joynob24365]

I think that it depends on the situation. For example if somebody tells a child "It's fine, you're strong and you will get through this", depending on the situation the child may find it to be a motivational message or a message implying that what they're going through is nothing and they are better than that.

[SunVixen]

My mum never encouraged us to talk about our fears. She would reprimand us for looking sad and would tell us that we are children and do not or should not have anything to worry about. As I grew older I realized it affects the way I talk about how I feel. It took me a while to get to a place of 'vulnerability' to talk about my anxieties. It starts at the very age we start experiencing all the different emotions.

Children's reasons for anxiety and stress often seem silly and trivial to adults. A child may experience stress after having a fight with other children at school or something like that, but adults may not think about it.

Of course, children need to be taught to cope with stress. But for this, adults must admit that children can really be stressed.

[Lisa A Rayburn]

There is a different approach when it comes to children. A lot of books are dedicated for adults about stress and anxiety because well educated adults are hoped to know how to let children know that being stressed and anxious over something is normal, and that they can do something to overcome it. What the author talks about could be references as to what we could do to help children. But I think, the approach will not be the same because children needs more explanation and guidance. They are not expected to know how to do it by themselves. This is a ‘self-help’ book, and I think children still need others to aid them in situations like this.

Excellent point. Thus, my question of whether or not the book's strategies could be helpful for children, not if children could use them to help themselves. I agree that 'well-educated' parents hopefully know how it is healthier to acknowledge their child's anxieties as normal and help them learn how to deal with them. No, the approach for the practices in the book would not be the same, but I believe with a bit of tweaking, they could be useful in teaching children how to cope with their fears and stresses. I appreciate your dropping by and sharing your thoughts with us!

[athurst123]

That is a really great question. I truly believe that these remedies can be utilized by adults and children. There aren't any harmful chemicals that could have negative impacts on a child in the way certain medications can.