Do you think free will man-made relations are stronger than blood relations??

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

"I wish everyone knew the entire saying. It's not 'blood is thicker than water,' it's 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.' Meaning relationships built by choice are stronger than those built by birth."Only those relations are the one you should care which are true to you not because of need of you"

If Kalayla had a better relationship with her mum and dad, I doubt if she could have a strong bond with Lena. It all depends on trust and how the other party treats you.

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

Strength comes from within. That brings us to the talk on invincible ties that binds. In my opinion I feel like mostly people try to create a stronger bond with others outside blood relations, because they feel the need to create a huge impact in the person's life. Unlike with family, we tell ourselves that since it's natural, it's binding whether you try or not. So mostly, all the efforts are placed into making the outside bond, because that one is started from scratch, till the finished product. And, it doesn't even end there. However, I believe familiar bonds are the strongest, for family will always be family. No matter the separation, or bad blood between members. There will still be a connection no matter how small.

If someone has an impactful force that aligns with your thoughts and attitude, you'd feel accustomed to love them more than the one who isn't so. Indeed, mostly when it comes to strangers, all the efforts are placed into making the outside bond stronger. That's why Lena is always trying to learn more about Kalayla and how she can win her trust and attention.

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

If the person in question has a rough time relating to those that their blood-related, then it would mean stronger bonds would grow with those that they aren't if they showed more compassion and care.

That's very true! I have a family member that is in that same situation. She is closer to a family that she met by chance who took her under their wing at a crucial time in her life and she is more bonded to them than she is blood relatives!

It's evident that you are more attached to the people who had your back at tough times. Even though Kalayla is a hard nut to crack, she realizes that Lena assists her mum, and this keeps her connected to her.

[rondanoh1]

I've heard it said that you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. That being said, the relationships we choose can be greater than those we have no control over. A lot of how we bind ourselves to others as "family" is based on trust. If our blood relationships are based on a strong bond of trust then they are very strong. If they are not, then we tend to find others in our lives who provide that trust, thus produce a strong bond. I think this is what happened in the story with the three women. The "tie that binds" is stronger than anything, including blood.

[Brenda Creech]

If the person in question has a rough time relating to those that their blood-related, then it would mean stronger bonds would grow with those that they aren't if they showed more compassion and care.

That's very true! I have a family member that is in that same situation. She is closer to a family that she met by chance who took her under their wing at a crucial time in her life and she is more bonded to them than she is blood relatives!

It's evident that you are more attached to the people who had your back at tough times. Even though Kalayla is a hard nut to crack, she realizes that Lena assists her mum, and this keeps her connected to her.

I am very family oriented, that's true. However, I am also very loyal to my friends who are TRULY my friends. I can attest to the fact that some man-made relationships can have a bond that surpasses even family bonds. The problem is, those relationships don't come along everyday!

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

I've heard it said that you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. That being said, the relationships we choose can be greater than those we have no control over. A lot of how we bind ourselves to others as "family" is based on trust. If our blood relationships are based on a strong bond of trust then they are very strong. If they are not, then we tend to find others in our lives who provide that trust, thus produce a strong bond. I think this is what happened in the story with the three women. The "tie that binds" is stronger than anything, including blood.

An example of a non-family bond is that of Lena working with Helping Hands Shelter for women. She was able to help the women and improve the livelihoods of local folks. When it comes to how strong family ties are, you can see it from how Maureen breaks down after Jamal’s death. It is a moment so moving, to a point where her mum, Kalayla’s grandma, suggests that they move in together.

[Ari Martinez]

I think it all depends on each person's individual experiences. If you were raised in a loving and supportive family, your relationship with them will be very strong and it will probably be difficult to ever find a stronger relationship. However, some people are oddballs in their families or just don't feel enough support in them. In this case, they might find it easier to form bonds with others.

[dm1971]

Yeah, I believe that the relations we choose are far stronger than relations we are born into. Many children and people around the world suffer from their "toxic" family, which they cannot cut because society expects you to behave in way that you treat your family special. Similar to Kalayla, her mother being absent for most of the time causes her to have a relationship with Lena.

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

Yeah, I believe that the relations we choose are far stronger than relations we are born into. Many children and people around the world suffer from their "toxic" family, which they cannot cut because society expects you to behave in way that you treat your family special. Similar to Kalayla, her mother being absent for most of the time causes her to have a relationship with Lena.

Even though society expects you to behave in a way that you treat your family special, I believe valuing your family is essential. They may be good or bad to you, but family will always have a bond with you. Kalayla still recognizes Clarence as her uncle, even after him telling her that she should pass for white and find herself a sugar daddy.

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

I think it all depends on each person's individual experiences. If you were raised in a loving and supportive family, your relationship with them will be very strong and it will probably be difficult to ever find a stronger relationship. However, some people are oddballs in their families or just don't feel enough support in them. In this case, they might find it easier to form bonds with others.

iI's always easier to run away from trouble, but that doesn't guarantee that it works out. Sometimes it's better not to keep crying out about our problems, but stand up in helping others too. Lena knew somebody had to do something to help Maureen, and she didn't find anybody volunteering. That's why she made it a personal issue to assist her.

[Christabel Uzoamaka]

It is very possible for relationships formed outside of blood relations to be tighter than that of blood. Experiences have a way of melding people together. And love is the ultimate glue. Some experiences may bring closer to non-blood relations than blood could ever hope to. Many people can testify to this. It is no problem for the author to include this theme in Kalayla.

[NDeMeer]

This is a very intriguing question. In my opinion, and in my experience, both can be very strong and both can also be very weak. I've had chosen bonds that outlasted blood bonds (I don't have any connection anymore with a part of my family). Still, I do believe blood bonds are easier to keep. I often drift apart from old friends, simply because neither of us reached out anymore, while with family, you always continue to see them and speak to them on a (semi-)regular basis. It's just easier to reach out and connect to family. That's just my experience, though. Thank you for this fantastic question!

[LibraryDoll]

I do not believe this to be quite true in my opinion. It may be similar to a blood bond but may actually never reach that extent in the sense that a blood relationship is family and you usually grow up with them and do everything together making you feel more comfortable around them almost having no secrets. While on the other hand man made relationship most are still insecure or feel something of the sort that impedes the relationship to be stronger. Yes you chose the relation but in most cases you do not show your true self wholely it would be more of 80% of the person knowing you. While your blood relationship (focusing on close family mostly) may know you 99%.
There are those man chosen relations where it does become similar to a blood relationship but this is usually due growing up together as seen in many cases they will think of the person as family which the line blurs at this point.

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

It is very possible for relationships formed outside of blood relations to be tighter than that of blood. Experiences have a way of melding people together. And love is the ultimate glue. Some experiences may bring closer to non-blood relations than blood could ever hope to. Many people can testify to this. It is no problem for the author to include this theme in Kalayla.

Especially when it comes to challenges, they have a way of bringing people together. If your family is not around to support you, then the other bond becomes stronger. It also depends on the character of those willing to help you. As you can see, Lena had done a bad job raising her boys and wanted to offer all the necessary advice to Maureen to make sure she doesn't make the same mistakes she did.

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

Sometimes relations built by humans flourish far better than blood relations. It all depends on our experiences and how we connect to other people in order to build that relation with them, just like in this book.Some experiences bind us more closely. So its safe to say that man made relations are stronger.

I dissent with your statement. Yes, circumstances may propagate relationships to grow stronger between strangers, but those related by blood have a unique bond that engraved in love.

I believe each bond has a different place. Obviously a blood bond is a unique bond. But so is a man made bond. Like in this story. Leena and Kayala bonded, Leena cared for Kayala as her own child. The intention of a man made relationship may drive from a blood bond. Yet i think both relationships have uniqueness.

Indeed, I'd agree with a blood bond becoming the reason for a man-made bond. The first time Lena met Kalayla, she noticed that she was always alone and even compared her with her boy Mark. And after realizing that Maureen was her mum, their mother to child bond influenced her to get concerned about their lives.