Are The Parent To Blame?

Olabode Joshua · Post by **Olabode Joshua** » 19 Sep 2020, 11:27

Most new parents seem unsure, but the seasoned ones are confident in their methods.

Absolutely, upbringing and temperament are responsible for the way children turn out.

The parents will carry some of the blame. Nevertheless, it is one thing to teach a child the right way and another for the child to run with it.

As for your last question, I don't think they did enough, but I know people who had worse parents, yet they turned out alright.

MariaLivaniou · Post by **MariaLivaniou** » 19 Sep 2020, 16:32

I would say that parenting is rather crutial to the upbringing of a child, in many situation it can create a lot of insecurities or mental scars to children. But that alone doesnt justify dad behavior in their adulthood. I mean sure, crapy childhoods are a factor but alot of people have a lot of problems you don't see them walk around with an atitude problem. After a cartain age people should just start taking responsibility for their actions and stop blaming them on everyone else.

Post by **Damian Keyes** » 19 Sep 2020, 19:08

I do believe that parents influence the life of their children from a young age. When they are acting out and behaving badly, it's the parents job to stop it before they grow up to the point when they start making their own choices. But, everything cannot be blamed on the parents because sometimes they be doing their best at home but the child doesn't want to change. Kalayla is a good example of that. Joey was a monster because he taught his sons that everything they did was okay to do but when that scene happened with him and the twins fighting, we see that they did not agree with or follow the abusive traits that he had. They were 18 years old and knew better than to do something like that.

When we know better, we do better.

Fabulous mind · Post by **Fabulous mind** » 19 Sep 2020, 19:20

For me, it goes both ways. The parents has a major role in instilling good morals into the children. Speaking for my self, I know countless time I refused to be influenced negatively growing up as a youth. This is attributed to how I was raised up. So I think parents are to be blamed if they don't do their path. Also, the children are to be blamed if they decide to neglect these values while growing up.
I feel the parents didn't do their work well in the book.

Kiki-Ogo-Oluwa360 · Post by **Kiki-Ogo-Oluwa360** » 20 Sep 2020, 19:16

Parents play a major role in the upbringing of a child especially before adolescence. Unity in child discipline by committed parents goes a long way in building the character of children,which did not come to play with Barzetti's parenting. Other factors come to play their roles in shaping life of an individual but what we make out of it lies on us especially as an adult.

Guete Zuelo · Post by **Guete Zuelo** » 20 Sep 2020, 19:19

It's the nature vs. nurture debate. The parents have their huge influence over what kind of person their child becomes. The lack of proper guidance and emotional support is detrimental to the child's development. However, are parents really are to blame? If you say so, the parents of the child could also blame their parents because they weren't raised right. This would go on and on, it's an endless cycle. For me, even though the parents have their part, they are not to blame. The child also has the responsibility to be the best person s/he can be. If one is aware that what s/he's is not right, s/he is responsible to do what is right. Time to destroy the generational curses.

dianaterrado · Post by **dianaterrado** » 21 Sep 2020, 00:16

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: ↑04 Sep 2020, 09:45 Joey is always saying that the boys should be left alone to toughen up. Maureen is too busy working to take care of Kalayla, and Lena has had it with the boys. From their stories, what is your view on parenting? Is it the reason Kalayla and Lena's children grow the way they are? Would you blame parenting to the moral uprightness or bad character of a child?
Did Joey, Jamal, Maureen, and Lena nurture their children properly?

I think parenting is hard and that there is no right or wrong way to do it. But I do believe parents have a huge impact on their children's lives and can influence whether a child would grow up good or bad. I think the characters in the book did what they did in the ways they know how.

Wesley Friday · Post by **Wesley Friday** » 21 Sep 2020, 06:47

As to whether or not parents raised their kids well will always depend on certain factors although society has an objective standard (vices engaged in) by which it will decide this. However, I would still maintain that parents have a direct effect on the moral upbringing of a child. This is due to the fact that the home is the first point of contact of a child for socialization.

Joseph_ngaruiya · Post by **Joseph_ngaruiya** » 22 Sep 2020, 22:19

Wesley Friday wrote: ↑21 Sep 2020, 06:47 As to whether or not parents raised their kids well will always depend on certain factors although society has an objective standard (vices engaged in) by which it will decide this. However, I would still maintain that parents have a direct effect on the moral upbringing of a child. This is due to the fact that the home is the first point of contact of a child for socialization.

dianaterrado wrote: ↑21 Sep 2020, 00:16
Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: ↑04 Sep 2020, 09:45 Joey is always saying that the boys should be left alone to toughen up. Maureen is too busy working to take care of Kalayla, and Lena has had it with the boys. From their stories, what is your view on parenting? Is it the reason Kalayla and Lena's children grow the way they are? Would you blame parenting to the moral uprightness or bad character of a child?
Did Joey, Jamal, Maureen, and Lena nurture their children properly?
I think parenting is hard and that there is no right or wrong way to do it. But I do believe parents have a huge impact on their children's lives and can influence whether a child would grow up good or bad. I think the characters in the book did what they did in the ways they know how.

Kiki-Ogo-Oluwa360 wrote: ↑20 Sep 2020, 19:16 Parents play a major role in the upbringing of a child especially before adolescence. Unity in child discipline by committed parents goes a long way in building the character of children,which did not come to play with Barzetti's parenting. Other factors come to play their roles in shaping life of an individual but what we make out of it lies on us especially as an adult.

Fabulous mind wrote: ↑19 Sep 2020, 19:20 For me, it goes both ways. The parents has a major role in instilling good morals into the children. Speaking for my self, I know countless time I refused to be influenced negatively growing up as a youth. This is attributed to how I was raised up. So I think parents are to be blamed if they don't do their path. Also, the children are to be blamed if they decide to neglect these values while growing up.
I feel the parents didn't do their work well in the book.

Sure, parents have a direct effect on their children as they grow up. Positive parenting leads to higher esteem ad confidence in children. Mark always had a problem with his temper. He must have picked it up from Joey. Parenting is not easy, but the parents should be ready to balance their struggles with a positive outlook on things. Maureen works 100+ hours a week to make sure everything is running smoothly, but she loses her daughter to the streets in return. Parents also should be good examples to their children. The twins learned how to get away from trouble by doing unseemly negative things. They used their dad Joey as a good example.

KRFulton · Post by **KRFulton** » 23 Sep 2020, 02:20

To a certain extent, children are a product of the upraising, and can grow up modeling their parents (or parental figure). Some children may fall into the same patterns of behavior, some may act the complete opposite, some may fall anywhere in between. Every child may act completely different.
However, as they become adults, there becomes a point when they can no longer solely blame their parents actions on how they act. They have to begin to take responsibility for their own actions, irregardless of what life threw their way.

Post by **Huini Hellen** » 23 Sep 2020, 12:12

I think that parents should be partially blamed for what their kids become. A child's personality is greatly influenced by their interactions with the parent. Therefore, the parents have ample time to mould their kids into what they'll be.

Echezonachukwu · Post by **Echezonachukwu** » 24 Sep 2020, 04:10

Well, though children play a large role in becoming whatever they want to be, I would still play the parents in a way. Joey letting the boys to get away with almost everything wasn't that cool. Parents correcting and spending reasonable time with their children will help to cut out some excesses at an early stage.

Luluwa79 · Post by **Luluwa79** » 24 Sep 2020, 04:51

Being united as parents to discipline our children also matters a lot, we see this in the case of Lena and Joey. Lena was trying her best as a mother to discipline her two boys but Joey was not supportive but rather encouraging the children to continue whatever warrants punishment from their mother. The father plays a big role in what a child turns out to be in the future.

Lucille27 · Post by **Lucille27** » 24 Sep 2020, 12:04

I think there is no right answer for this. Personally, I do not believe parents should be entirely to blame, like what you mention about Maureen. She does not have time, but we should also understand her background and that, maybe, the consequences of trying to find that time would be worse. I think parents are also doing the best they can, but a lot of times they do not have a guide. Mistakes happen, but more than creating blame, I think this kind of experiences show us that, maybe, through talking and more understanding this could be prevented and/or healed.

glubglub200 · Post by **glubglub200** » 24 Sep 2020, 15:24

In my person opinion there is no right answer to if a parent is the reason a child turns out good or not so good. It depends on the child because even with a totally nurturing and loving family the child could still turn out worse for wear. Sometimes the parent is to blame but a lot of the time life is just to blame.