survivor

Use this forum to discuss the September 2020 Book of the month, " "Kalayla" by Jeannie Nicholas.
Rizki Pradana
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Re: survivor

Post by Rizki Pradana »

I think everyone just put up strong because she doesn't want everyone to know about their weakness. Especially in this case was Lena's past is what I am talking about.
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Chinazo Anozie
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Post by Chinazo Anozie »

AntonelaMaria wrote: 01 Sep 2020, 11:27 There is one quote from Lena that kind of stuck with me.

"There's no way you can stop people from making mistakes no matter how much you want to. I couldn't stop myself. I don't know why I thought I could stop anybody else. I guess because I did learn one big thing. I learned that if you get help, you can help yourself."

It seems really inspiring but also true. How many times we know were are making a mistake and we do it anyway or know someone in our family is doing it but we can stop it? How many times we are trying to tought it out and not reach out for help thinking is the sign of weakness? In the end, when she allowed her friend and her mother to be there for her and help her she stopped hiding behind the bottle. She survived so much and then she is able to see that Maureen is making a mistakes and having a hard time. So she is there for her and Kalayla. She really is an amazing friend. Without the judgement and preachiness.

What are your thoughts?
I honestly believe this to be true and this has happened to me personally. Nobody (no matter how close they are or their very good intentions) can help you unless you decide to help yourself.
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Post by Manas Ranjan Mishra »

Getting genuine help nowadays is rare. But what Lena quoted is true as well. She got help, and when she found Maureen is on the same track, she tried to convey that. Everyone do mistakes, it is inevitable. Important is how we come up with a solution.
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Post by jimmy02 »

I agree with your musings. Many a time, I have knowingly committed mistakes. It's a strange feeling to experience. And it still is a mystery for me, as to why it happens. In Kalayla, we see Maureen committing blunders because of her precarious and hectic situation, but Lena, with her wisened advice, is there to help her back up. We find Lenas in our own lives in forms of our mother, grandmothers and even sisters who are there for us, each time we stumble.
There is no friend as loyal as a book.
~ Ernst Hemingway

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Post by Themmie10 »

It’s not always easy to ask for help, even for the slightest problem. Some people will think they have a say about your life just because you asked them for help, just like Kalayla’s thought, though she was wrong about Lena.
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Post by jimmy02 »

Wesley Friday wrote: 06 Sep 2020, 20:56 I think getting help from others starts from the point of making one's self vulnerable in the presence of the potential helper. Though we are social beings, if making friends as adults is much harder than in our childhood, how much do you think opening up about one's deepest flaws to someone you barely know as an adult will be. These women in the novel essentially lacked the emotional support a close relation could offer. Thus stepping out of their comfort zones to interact with persons who weren't professionals was probably much harder. But just like Lena said, in the end, they got help to help themselves by looking around themselves.
I couldn't agree more Mr Friday. If one doesn't open their doors, how can someone enter to help? After Maureen agrees and becomes receptive towards Lena, that's when their bond is forged.
There is no friend as loyal as a book.
~ Ernst Hemingway

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Post by Berry_ »

I think that was a great quote especially because it was relevant to what Maureen has been through and how she was looking out for Kalayla. However I cant help but wonder how helping a person is not as easy as it seems especially when they are not willing to help themselves. That was definitely a quote to take away.
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Post by Samuel Mamo »

Everybody needs "Lena" help for his life so as to help him self. We all have a hole in life, finding a friend like Lena is a blessing!
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Post by Andrada Madalina »

I think helping Kalayla and her mother is an opportunity for Lena's redemption. Lena is trying to get rid of the suffering from her past, especially from her abusive marriage. The fact that she continued to help the little girl suppressed her guilt regarding her relationship with her four sons and allowed her to start healing.
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Post by Shillah Andeso »

Sometimes we think asking for help makes us vulnerable and we have to be there for ourselves so that we may deem ourselves strong. I would say I believe in standing for myself. I believe nowadays no one is always genuinely ready to help, at least where I am right now.
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Post by fire_spice »

Kola+wole wrote: 02 Sep 2020, 09:26 Everyone likes to put up a strong front so as not to be called weak and exploited. Also, the fear that the help sought might not be forthcoming and can lead to ridicule is another factor. In the end, asking for help when necessary makes life easier.
Very true! And often the best person to help someone else is some one who has survived something similar. We also find it easier to accept help from someone who has survived because we know that they will most likely not judge, or take advantage. I think this is what draws Lena and Maureen to each other. Lena is a wonderful woman because she doesn't keep her experience to herself but instead uses it to help others.
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Post by Emilia Kvatchadze »

I think asking for help as a human being is one of the hardest things to learn. I struggle with it myself, and every time I have sought out for help, I have always seen it as a weakness. But as my mom used to say, then it is a sign of power, and toughness rather than a weakness. You should never feel humiliated when agreeing to get help, and sometimes it is the only thing that will help you with your problem/struggles!
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Post by Donald Trust »

So true, truth is mistake is part of humans. We feel so awful when we realize our mistakes. It's best we appreciate it, learn from it and the move on.
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Post by Cocobutta »

Berry_ wrote: 06 Mar 2022, 09:07 I think that was a great quote especially because it was relevant to what Maureen has been through and how she was looking out for Kalayla. However I cant help but wonder how helping a person is not as easy as it seems especially when they are not willing to help themselves. That was definitely a quote to take away.
I agree, sometimes you might be willing to help someone but until they accept your help, it will be really difficult.
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Post by Jerry Anozie »

Mistakes are inevitable but we should always try not to repeat mistakes. Lena was only trying to lessen her guilt.
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