survivor
-
- Posts: 328
- Joined: 03 Aug 2020, 16:10
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 22
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-joan642.html
- Latest Review: Inspirations by Colleen by Colleen Bruce
Re: survivor
- Ldpuff
- Posts: 276
- Joined: 19 Jul 2020, 08:54
- Currently Reading: Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating
- Bookshelf Size: 41
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-ldpuff.html
- Latest Review: The Merriest, The Beariest Bears by Doreen M. Atkinson
-
- Book of the Month Participant
- Posts: 591
- Joined: 02 Jul 2020, 09:53
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 147
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-eunice-geres.html
- Latest Review: Stevie Tenderheart Books WAIT A MINUTE! (An Illustrated Novella) by Steve William Laible
I learned not to ask for help, not because I'm scared of being vulnerable in front of others. I learned not to ask for help because they just ignored me when I needed it. So I think it just doesn't lie to our loved ones because those who ignored me are my loved ones. I think it lies in the people who love us. We can love as many people as we want but there's only few who would love us back and help us in time of need without judgementLhammamy wrote: ↑16 Sep 2020, 09:04That is so true!! I think it lies on our loved ones to show us their care and trustworthiness. Without that, how are we gonna know that nobody will judge our mistakes?Nhitra wrote: ↑14 Sep 2020, 13:37 Asking for help is hard. Worried that you'll be ridiculed or frowned upon if you ever voice your concern. Maybe the fault doesn't lie in the people not asking for help but in their loved one who doesn't give them a safe environment for them to ask for help without fear.
- Joseph_ngaruiya
- Posts: 1198
- Joined: 09 Apr 2020, 09:37
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 76
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-joseph-ngaruiya.html
- Latest Review: The Napoleone's heroes by Gianfranco Menghini
Ldpuff wrote: ↑16 Sep 2020, 18:37 There is so much stigma associated with mental health. It should be the norm for people to ask for and accept help, but instead it is looked at as weakness. It’s a travesty. Being a teacher I see so many students and their parents suffering and do not want to ask for help. In these situations I am helpless. I know they are making mistakes, but I can’t force the right choice on them.
Fae Liesl Enchantee wrote: ↑17 Sep 2020, 23:05I learned not to ask for help, not because I'm scared of being vulnerable in front of others. I learned not to ask for help because they just ignored me when I needed it. So I think it just doesn't lie to our loved ones because those who ignored me are my loved ones. I think it lies in the people who love us. We can love as many people as we want but there's only few who would love us back and help us in time of need without judgementLhammamy wrote: ↑16 Sep 2020, 09:04That is so true!! I think it lies on our loved ones to show us their care and trustworthiness. Without that, how are we gonna know that nobody will judge our mistakes?Nhitra wrote: ↑14 Sep 2020, 13:37 Asking for help is hard. Worried that you'll be ridiculed or frowned upon if you ever voice your concern. Maybe the fault doesn't lie in the people not asking for help but in their loved one who doesn't give them a safe environment for them to ask for help without fear.
Indeed, finding a confidant takes time. Could this be the reason Kalayla has a hard time opening up to Lena? A lot of people fear asking for assistance because they either have no one they trust or from fear of being stigmatized. It's therefore needed for you to see and look at people different, regardless of their social status, background, or skin color. After Jamal died during their racing event with Clarence, what really got Maureen sad, sorry, and upset was that her family hadn't been able to see beyond the color of Jamal's skin. It's for this reason that she wouldn't ask them for a helping hand.
-
- Posts: 311
- Joined: 29 Jun 2018, 01:23
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 152
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-dianaterrado.html
- Latest Review: Love, Grandma by Ann Morris
- Aniza Butt
- Posts: 713
- Joined: 26 Feb 2019, 23:00
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 28
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-aniza-butt.html
- Latest Review: Aurona by BB Prescott
`Darkling`
-
- Posts: 102
- Joined: 16 Jun 2020, 02:37
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 34
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-jb3.html
- Latest Review: Shadow Game by A.M. Adair
- Luluwa79
- Posts: 262
- Joined: 27 Jul 2020, 08:35
- Favorite Book: Peter and the Parachute
- Currently Reading: How To Be Successful
- Bookshelf Size: 39
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-luluwa79.html
- Latest Review: Peter and the Parachute by Nicola Ridgeway and James Manning
So are you saying, even though Maureen asked for help, Lena would not have helped if Kalayla is not living with her?Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: ↑07 Sep 2020, 03:44I choose to disagree with you for saying, getting help from others starts from the point of making one's self vulnerable in the presence of the potential helper. In this case, neither Maureen nor Kalayla knew Lena would help them out. Lena knew Maureen worked at Eddie's for a year, yet she only stepped in to help after noticing Kalayla was living with her.Wesley Friday wrote: ↑06 Sep 2020, 20:56 I think getting help from others starts from the point of making one's self vulnerable in the presence of the potential helper. Though we are social beings, if making friends as adults is much harder than in our childhood, how much do you think opening up about one's deepest flaws to someone you barely know as an adult will be. These women in the novel essentially lacked the emotional support a close relation could offer. Thus stepping out of their comfort zones to interact with persons who weren't professionals was probably much harder. But just like Lena said, in the end, they got help to help themselves by looking around themselves.
- Nelson Lyric
- Posts: 104
- Joined: 01 Sep 2020, 03:59
- Currently Reading: Kalayla
- Bookshelf Size: 47
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-nelson-lyric.html
- Latest Review: There and Back There Again by Andrew Alsup
Is thought Provoking, In addition, it helped me understand why we fail in many ways, only because we thought we can handle everything by our selves. If Lena opened up earlier, she shouldn't have suffered the depression (self-isolation and feeling of unworthy).AntonelaMaria wrote: ↑01 Sep 2020, 11:27 "There's no way you can stop people from making mistakes no matter how much you want to. I couldn't stop myself. I don't know why I thought I could stop anybody else. I guess because I did learn one big thing. I learned that if you get help, you can help yourself."
Therefore, man can not dwell in the absence of others. Furthermore, a problem is easily solved when it is shared.
-
- In It Together VIP
- Posts: 843
- Joined: 19 May 2020, 23:59
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 130
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-damian-keyes.html
- Latest Review: Last Minute Wedding Date by Anthony george
- 2024 Reading Goal: 30
- 2024 Goal Completion: 23%
- engarl
- Posts: 99
- Joined: 21 Jul 2020, 11:38
- Currently Reading: A Wise Man's Fear
- Bookshelf Size: 130
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-engarl.html
- Latest Review: Apollo's Raven by Linnea Tanner
I agree with this wholeheartedly. I have had personal experience with this in my life and as a new mom I hope to be able to change that for my children. In fact, that's something that I really admire about Lena in this story...the fact that she gives help without judgement. She is able to understand what Kalayla is feeling without Kalayla necessarily explaining her feelings out loud and she is just a friend. That is a gift and I think one of the reasons she was so successful at helping the girl. Unfortunately, it seems she learned it the hard way after not succeeding as well with her own children. I don't think that was her fault for the most part though.Nhitra wrote: ↑14 Sep 2020, 13:37 Asking for help is hard. Worried that you'll be ridiculed or frowned upon if you ever voice your concern. Maybe the fault doesn't lie in the people not asking for help but in their loved one who doesn't give them a safe environment for them to ask for help without fear.
- engarl
- Posts: 99
- Joined: 21 Jul 2020, 11:38
- Currently Reading: A Wise Man's Fear
- Bookshelf Size: 130
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-engarl.html
- Latest Review: Apollo's Raven by Linnea Tanner
Side note, I am not referring to religious preaching. 'Preachers', in that sense, can be empathetic, and can be friends too.
-
- Posts: 20
- Joined: 05 Oct 2020, 13:59
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 19
- moowshiri
- Posts: 487
- Joined: 03 Dec 2019, 08:29
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 39
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-moowshiri.html
- Latest Review: The Kings Death by Ed Cannon
- elisathelvarik
- Posts: 150
- Joined: 13 Jan 2020, 03:13
- Currently Reading: Spirituality for REAL
- Bookshelf Size: 35
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-elisathelvarik.html
- Latest Review: The Art of Pleasure by Julia Steed
This quote is so inspiring and shows the importance of awareness of your actions and seeking help. When we ignore our problems or push them off like they are nothing, we are continually putting ourselves into more harm. Vulnerability and transparency are so important when you are going through tough times. Getting help whether it's from family, friends, or a trained professional will always help. We are often conditioned to say, "I'm fine" and continue, but we are the only ones that muster up the strength to ask someone for help. Amazing quote from the book to point out!AntonelaMaria wrote: ↑01 Sep 2020, 11:27 There is one quote from Lena that kind of stuck with me.
"There's no way you can stop people from making mistakes no matter how much you want to. I couldn't stop myself. I don't know why I thought I could stop anybody else. I guess because I did learn one big thing. I learned that if you get help, you can help yourself."
It seems really inspiring but also true. How many times we know were are making a mistake and we do it anyway or know someone in our family is doing it but we can stop it? How many times we are trying to tought it out and not reach out for help thinking is the sign of weakness? In the end, when she allowed her friend and her mother to be there for her and help her she stopped hiding behind the bottle. She survived so much and then she is able to see that Maureen is making a mistakes and having a hard time. So she is there for her and Kalayla. She really is an amazing friend. Without the judgement and preachiness.
What are your thoughts?
― Stan Lee