Surrogate Family?
- Lisa A Rayburn
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Surrogate Family?
Lena - (surrogate) mother/ grand-mother
Maureen - Lena's (surrogate) daughter/ Kalayla's mother
Kalayla - Maureen's daughter/ Lena's (surrogate) grand-daughter
In your opinion, how did this satisfy the needs of each character? Did one character get more out of the relationship than the others?
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I also believe Lena, Kalayla, and her mum all benefited from the relationship. Even though they might have different levels of connection, measuring them is daunting.
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Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: ↑04 Sep 2020, 00:23 In regards to getting more out of the relationship, what are the baselines? Love, trust, money, friendship etc?
It is, indeed, difficult to quantify relationships. I, personally, think the baselines for these particular relationships, though many, are at the core, love, loyalty (or trust), companionship, and support (Not an exhaustive list, of course.) I'm not sure that there is a way to "measure" as in volume, pounds, etc., a relationship, but I do know that some I've seen and read about are definitely lopsided. One individual gets much more out of it than the other, or others. Though that was not the case here, that was what I meant by that question. That they are all satisfied with the relationship could also be thought of as a "measure." Thanks to all of you for dropping by and commenting!
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Lilyflower-x2 wrote: ↑15 Sep 2020, 23:55 I don't think its quantifiable what each individual got from the relationship. Their needs were different.What matters is if they were satisfied with the end results, and its clear they were.
I have to say that all the characters seem to have got some satisfaction from the interactions they had. If not anything physical, then lessons would be the way to go. It was fulfilling for me to realize that finally, Lena was able to find fulfillment in her endeavored search for bringing kalayla to self-awareness. And although Maureen lost a good relationship with her parents, Lena lost his sons, and Kalayla didn't have someone to call a brother, the outcome of their interactivity was fruitful.
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In addition, all the relationships were beneficial to each one of them in one way or the other.
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All the characters seemed to get contentment from the relationships they had with one another, and that is the most crucial theme of the book (satisfaction). They figured a way to live in harmony in spite of their roots.Allen Cheque wrote: ↑14 Sep 2020, 18:28 I believe that that was the whole point of the book: three women coming together to form a strong bond. It was wonderful reading how these women gradually came into each other's lives and how they all managed to have an impact on themselves.
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- Lisa A Rayburn
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Allen Cheque wrote: ↑14 Sep 2020, 18:28 I believe that that was the whole point of the book: three women coming together to form a strong bond. It was wonderful reading how these women gradually came into each other's lives and how they all managed to have an impact on themselves.
Lilyflower-x2 wrote: ↑15 Sep 2020, 23:55 I don't think its quantifiable what each individual got from the relationship. Their needs were different.What matters is if they were satisfied with the end results, and its clear they were.
Susmita Biswas wrote: ↑16 Sep 2020, 01:15 The three ladies from three different generations became a family and somehow, they figured out how to help each other. If you can create a family that will always stand by you then it's a wonderful thing. After all, we all need caring and love.
I believe that the feeling and companionship of 'family,' whether they be family-by-birth or family-by-choice, is something all of us need and continually seek. I agree that these three women (well, two women and one child) came together and formed a strong, caring familial bond that helped each of them in its own way. When I said 'surrogate,' I simply was referring to it not being a family-by-birth situation. I certainly agree that each of them got what they needed out of the relationship, but that is not always the case and was not a foregone conclusion, even in the book. I've seen plenty of relationships that were lopsided. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!Laura Mich wrote: ↑16 Sep 2020, 06:05 I don't think we need to crown mothers as 'surrogate' as long as they humanely and affectionately bring up a child. I mean, don't you think it's unfair?
In addition, all the relationships were beneficial to each one of them in one way or the other.
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I think each of the characters got the exact measure they needed from the relationship.